Why oh why did I start with this **%%$!! dummy - just gone back in for 100th time

[sunshine17]

DD1 wouldn't take a dummy - and looking back now I'm glad because my friends with babies her age are still trying to wean them off.

In a moment of madness I started with DD2 who is now 8 weeks old.

I've just gone back into her room for what must be the 10th time to 'plug' it back in to try and get her to have her lunchtime nap. She screams and wakes herself up if it's not in.

I so so regret starting as I can see it becoming a big (bigger!) problem. In fact the few times she's been in such a deep sleep that she doesn't want it she has slept so well.

What can I do - please help. The other problem is I can't let her cry for too long as it wakes DD1 (19 months).

[pudding25]

Apparently, the FSID research says that if the dummy falls out when they are asleep, it does not matter and not to worry if your baby wont take the dummy. I have also heard that unless someone in your house smokes, then it is fine to get rid of it. If somone smokes, it may be a good idea to keep it for longer.

[Clio197]

I had read that research acutally. Tho, soon as he was asleep it always fell out, so was only in there for 5mins mabey then out for 4 hours, then he'd wake and have it for another 3mins.

Either way, hes on a sencor mat, so I dont worry toooooooo much... but you always do dont you.

My DS is dummyless, going OK, only 7mins of fussy crying thismorning before he fell asleep for nap.

[Philpot]

Sorry by the way, that is not meant to be a guilt trip into using/sticking with dummies, just thought it might be interesting.

[Philpot]

Both my DDs use them, both have about 6 each all over their cot so they can put a hand on one if they wake up, I found that much easier to deal with than going in and out. However, at 8weeks it was a bit of a pain, I would just roll over and stick the dummy in because the cot was right by the bed.

Has anyone else heard about the study they did showing babies who used dummies at night had a reduced risk of SIDS? Just googled it, here is a link to the article:
www.fsid.org.uk/dummies-press.html

[pudding25]

That's pretty much along the lines of what we did. Hope it goes well.

[Clio197]

Just as i posted that DS woke up, I went in and put his blankie think up by his face, shhh'd him, held his hand for a bit, stroked his face, and left. Im gonna go back in after 4 mins and do the same thing. Although hes crying, ht goes quiet for periods, then starts up again!! Urghh!

[pudding25]

I found that once she got rid of the dummy during the day and going to bed in the evening, she only woke the once in the night to be fed (until a few days later, she gave that up). I was only feeding her once anyway, but she had been waking every 2 hrs looking for dummy.

I know you are worried about the crying but thankfully, we did not have too much crying. Dummy was ditched within 3 days so not that long and definitely worth it in the long run.

[Clio197]

Sunshine17 - I have the same problem, well kind of, OH drives alot for work, so needs to get sleep or could be dangerous now although my 19 week old baby (SHOCK HORROR) sleeps in his own room (Note, has done since 13 weeks..) his cries still wake OH up if they go on for to long.

I planned to ditch it yesturday, but caved in at 2am when he woke and poped it in, silence and sleep immediately!! Amazing really, but not very good for the dithing of the dummy plan.

What gets me - last two days hes been put in his cot awake, as always, with no dummy, not a peep out of him, straight to sleep!! So I know its possible, he just cant settle in the middle of the night.

I think both of us would be happy to get any tips people have with middle of the nigth waking?

[sunshine17]

Hi everyone, just got a chance to catch up with all these posts. I think giving up the dummy would give her a better, more undisturbed nights sleep - it has been useful in some respects but 2 weeks on from my initial thread I haven't been able to ditch it.

In fact she wakes up after 40ish mins from a nap (because it's fallen out) and I can't then get her back to sleep - so in the sling she goes because DD1 is demanding to attention/feeding.....

My problem is still I can't let her cry for to long (at all!) during the night as it waits DD1 up and then it is just a nightmare as she is such a sensitive sleeper that any disruption to her routine sends to spin everything out of control - day naps etc.

p.s. greenmonkies just caught up with your thread (looks like you were trying to catch me out - why??) the reason I went back IN to the bedroom to put her dummy back in - even though she sleeps right next to me - was because it was a day nap..........

[pudding25]

milsy well said. I wish that DD's sleep had not been disturbed by the dummy. I think I loved it more than she did - and I had all the accessories-dummy bag, dummy steriliser, all varieties of colours...

We are now over 2 wks dummy free. Within 5 days of giving up the dummy, DD started sleeping through the night.

However, she is now sucking on her fingers the whole time...

[angel1976]

We ditched the dummy as well and it took DS 2 days to adjust and now he goes for his naps with a little grumbling and that's it! We even travelled long haul (12.5 hours) without it! We did take it out at one point as he was getting really upset (two babies who are both sensitive to noises next to each other is NOT a good idea!) but he wouldn't have it... But I agree, it's up to the individual baby. My LO never really took to a dummy and it always dropped out of his mouth so we are glad to ditch it now.

[Milsy]

Hi everyone, the dummy issue always gets everybody stirred up doesn't it? I say that parenting is both hard and rewarding and we each must make choices based on our individual children and the needs of our family. We have a dummy. We also have a Sleepytot Comforter that we can put the dummies on and lo can find the dummies on that. That has worked for us since we're all comforted and all sleep well. x

[pudding25]

Tinkerbellesmum I do agree with you to some extent. I am a primary teacher and the out of control children are the ones who have no routine whatsoever, go to bed whenever they feel like it (they don't want to go to bed so their parents let them stay up) and have no rules or boundaries at home.
It is a real shame for the children.

[TinkerBellesMum]

I think that usually when a child isn't finding their own routine (having seen this myself) it is because the parents aren't letting them. I know one little girl who is 4.8 and still goes to bed at whatever unearthly time her parents do. She is always angry and irritable annoying little brat and would happily go to bed a lot sooner if her parents put her there. But they have never allowed her to find a routine for herself so she is totally out of control routine.

[pudding25]

Well done. It is such a feeling of achievement! So proud of my baby pudding. She now goes straight down, fingers in mouth and off to sleep! And she did 2 hrs solid at lunchtime today in her cot - unheard of! I had to go in and check several times as I was worried and I took her temperature!
Not getting my hopes up yet though...she will probably start teething next week and be up all night.

Not chucked out the dummys either....too scared to but think I will give them to my friend who's baby is a dummy addict and keep 1 in case of emergency!

[MatNanPlus]

SO glad to hear all is going well SmellyEli

[smellyeli]

So back to the original subject - we're doing pretty well now, and with lots of cuddles at bedtime no crying at all when I put her down tonight! PLus she is leeping two to three hours at lunchtime, and going much longer at night so we are all happier - I have more energy for my 3 year old, and more time (when she is napping well) to do good stuff with him rather than being constantly distracted.....

I've decided not to get rid of the plugs completely as they are still handy when we are out and about and she needs a little nap (ie. soft play with loads of noisy boys charging around this morning) I may use one of them as target practice to encourage my three year old to hit the water, though - thanks for that tip!

[pudding25]

greenmonkies If you look on the internet, you can find evidence for and against everything.

As I have already said, I don't agree with letting a baby cry by themselves. I myself, did not even do cc with dd and only left her by herself to cry for 5 mins at a time (and she only needed to for a very short period). It certainly has done her no harm. She has been the happiest baby ever and today, slept 2 hrs at lunchtime which she has never done and awoke totally refreshed and happy.

CC also has its place if the parents can do it. From everything I have read, and from all the people I know who have done it, results are quick and their children are very happy afterwards and well rested with happy parents who get some sleep. A happy parent means a happy child.
So if breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, carrying baby around makes you happy, then great and I really mean that. However, you need to understand that many people would not want to do that and their children are very happy and well adjusted. Personally, if I had needed to BF dd all day and all night all the time still, I would have given up a long time ago. She doesnt need to be fed/comforted on the breast all the time. Instead, at almost 4 mths, I am still mainly BF her and will continue to do so.

The Centre for Community Child Health, Royal Children?s Hospital, Melbourne recently completed a review of recent research into sleep problems in young children.

What has been researched?
Research covers a range of approaches to managing settling and waking problems in children over six months old, including:

Behavioural strategies for teaching children to fall asleep on their own rather than with the assistance of an adult.
Medical treatment involving the use of either trimazeprazine or niaprazine at night to treat sleep problems.
A combined approach involving the use of medication along with a behavioural strategy.
Providing information and advice about sleep, with or without support visits.
What has the research found (in a nutshell)?
Behavioural strategies have been found to be the most successful in dealing with sleeping problems. Research has shown that the behavioural strategies most likely to be effective include: creating a positive routine, controlled comforting (or controlled crying), systematic ignoring and scheduled waking. The strategy known as 'camping out' has also been researched.

Is controlled comforting harmful?
Despite concerns about potential harms to the baby, no studies published in peer-reviewed journals have shown any psychological or physical harm from using controlled comforting (or other behaviour management techniques described on this site). In fact, recent research has shown that babies who have undergone controlled comforting are more likely to sleep better in the short-term and are as well adjusted as their peers in terms of behaviour and sleep in the long-term.

[ajm200]

Well Done Pudding25

[GreenMonkies]

MatNanPlus, It's taken from the No Cry Sleep Solution website, (as linked) so you may have read it before.

Pudding, I am not saying they have to be held 24/7, and please do show me the research that says leaving a baby to cry is not harmful, I'd love to read it.

[MatNanPlus]

Well Done Pudding25

[pudding25]

I am not saying that everyone should have a routine, I am very much for everyone doing what makes them happiest - I should have said in my post that for some people who have not put their babies in a routine, then they have problems.
You are right that some babies find their own routines, but not all do, and it is those ones I was talking about, with the parents who are stressed out of their minds and super sleep deprived and asking for help.
For me, a routine of some sort was the only way to go as otherwise, I think I would have ended up with pnd. I need to have some idea of what I am doing otherwise I get very stressed out.

Well dummy ditching day 6 now. DD is amazing. Dummy totally forgotten about and she is sleeping so much better and deeper. She even went from 7pm to 5.30am last night (with a dreamfeed thrown in at 11pm). I couldnt believe it. I actually heard her wake at 5am, grumble for a minute and then go back to sleep. Not getting my hopes up as this may be a one off. I fed her at 5.30am and she went back to sleep until 7am! I am so glad we plucked up the courage to get rid if the dummy as I was dreading it.

[TinkerBellesMum]

Just like to respond to the comment about babies who aren't put into a routine. Mine wasn't, I'm far too lazy to force an issue like that! She had found a routine for herself by four months that she is still in 22 months later, with slight adjustments to new activities. I've never regretted anything I've done for one minute.

Just thought I'd make sure there is at least one parent on this site who isn't regretting anything.

[MatNanPlus]

Great advise ethanchristopher EXCEPT said baby is 8 weeks old so bit early for that.

greenmonkies that was a very familiar posting, you must have that ready to copy and paste as i seemed to have read it before.

[ethanchristopher]

allow her to go to sleep with it but take it out when she is sleeping so she wakes up without it.

at meal times take the dummy away and replace with food immediately then hide the dummy

this is what i did and i only gave it back when he had remembered and started to cry and eventually he started to forget to remember and finally never asked again (touch wood)