Preschool - not playing with other children but will at home.

[amelie]

Odd one really, our 4 year old DD won't really talk to the other children at preschool. She's perfectly happy there, loves going, enjoys talking to the adults, talks about the other children when she comes home, plays with the same children in a one to one situation (or even in threes) out of preschool etc.

But whilst there she plays by herself - perfectly self contained. She's not rude to them, or anxious. She just doesn't want to play with them. Yet, as i say, come the afternoon around someone's house, she'll play perfectly well with the same person she didn't want to play with 3 hours earlier.

Any ideas? We've not known it's a 'problem' as she does integrate so well elsewhere, and chats about playing when she gets home. Is it even a problem?

thanks

[girlywhirly]

It would only be a problem if she didn't talk or play with anyone, anywhere. A lot of adults just like a small group of close friends, rather than a massive bunch of mates.
She's happier on home territory with a few people, that's all.

[jollydo]

I wouldn't say it's a problem, if she's happy and you know she can interact well at other times. Maybe there's just so much going on that she's absorbed in - playing/chatting to adults. Maybe the other children are also quite absorbed in their own activities? I think my ds, also 4, plays differently 1:1 or in small groups than he does in larger ones. He's more likely to go up to someone and initiate a game or say hello if there is only 1 ot 2 children there. (A bit like me and adults really!)

[Elibean]

dd was exactly the same at 3-4, but then made a 'best friend' at pre-school and its gone from there. At 4.5 she has several friends she'll play with there, though she still prefers 1-1 to groups.

It was amazing how fast it changed, really, looking back.

I don't think its a problem

[bubblagirl]

just ask the pre school iof they have concerns about this or not if they say no then i wouldnt worry

i only say that as at home my ds will interract and at pre school not at all although he just been dx with HFA but pre school can notice if normal or not

i would say it was as some children just prefer home environment

just ask one of the teachers how she reacts in pre school environment any concerns at all

its not such a big problem but could be shy and may need to be pushed into group play to help her before school to build confidance

[amelie]

thanks all

The only reason we know about it is because the preschool mentioned it on thursday. Whenever we see her with others she may be a bit shy, but she will join in and enjoy it - but apparently not at preschool. Even our childminder was surprised as she's the life and soul when she's there.

It's not helped i guess by the fact her best friend has been on holiday for two weeks- she's back today so hopefully it'll be fine.

Oddly though, over the weekend we met a friend who we've not seen for a couple of years. They've a girl the same age, and within 5 minutes the two girls were running around all over the place having loads of fun. So i just don't really understand it. Maybe she just doesn't like the children at preschool?

Maybe I'm just fretting over something unnecessarily?