Autism vs quirks in ten year old DD?

Kiki1703 · 2024-04-17 17:47:43

Hi all, looking for a bit of advice, My ten year old daughter has never been 'typical' but then who is? She is a very unique, senstive, quiet yet playful and tactile character. She is an only child but due a new sibling in a couple of months. She has recently become more and more obsessed with other children in her class having autism / adhd. She has asked a few times whether she has it... she says she gets overwhelmed at school and she tries to have special time with teachers but she isnt allowed she does not have a diagnosis. For example ND children can join a group called THRIVE which my dd is desp to join, they also have ear defenders and slime timers which she has asked for. I dont know whether she has autism and she is trying to reach out or whether she sees having autism as a way of getting special attention. She gets lots of attention at home (within reason) and we always talk to her and make her feel special and loved and accepted. This all came to a head a couple of nights ago where she explained that she feels overwhelmed at school but doesnt cry or get emotional like the other children,, that she doesnt know why, but she can only let her emotions out at home an d they feel ' stuck '.. she is still obsessed with having 1:1 time or being allowed to sit inside at lunchtimes. From a very young age, these are the behaviours I have observed which I feel may indicate AUTISM / ADHD - SHe has always been extemely fussy, she only eats chicken fish goujons, beef burgers, pizza, pancakes, bananas, lettuce, pikelets, innocent smoothie, milk - She gets frustrated extremely easily and has big meltdowns over homework, bedtime (if she is in the middle of imaginary play or has an idea she needs to draw or get on paper), if we talk whilst she is watching something or she catches us looking at our phone instead of watching with her - Being asked to tidy her room, - She is obsessive about the human body, certain animals, care home kids... - She gets tired, overwhelmed after a big day or busy few days, resulting in meltdowns and needing to stay in for the next day to 'recover' - She is very empathic - Extremely sensitive to critisism to the point where she covers her ears and tells us to stop, no matter how calm and diplomatic we are, she cant bare to hear it - Very shy at school and around most adults and can come across as in 'her own world' and aloof - She is often very dramatic, loud and expressive in her role play - She is extremely artistic, but only likes to draw certain things and only with certain materials otherwise she hates it. Hates craft for example but loves to sketch. She is also very perfectionist and has meltdowns if her drawing is not to her standard. The reasons I think she doesnt have it are the following: - Although she does meltdown, she gets through and can talk sensibly after she has calmed down and has a very mature ability to ' reflect' - She is sociable and playful with other kids - She is messy - She is emotionally aware I am wondering whether it is ncessary to get her an assessment or if this is just kid behaviour, I mean kids are all quirky and weird to some degree or other arnt they? But at same time, I would hate to miss something and not get her support if she needs it. Are yor NT kids similar? ANything looking more obvious to those that do have ND kids? It feels so hard nowadays to define the difference between traits and actual conditions. I dont want to label her with something that could limit her.. when she is actually just being herself and being a child. Thanks in advance

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