What is the future of high functioning autistic child?

[Injackane]

Can they finish University, can they have an independent life, where they don’t need someone to live with them?

Do you know any examples of good outcomes?

[Injackane]

Anyone ?

[Scirocco]

@Injackane are you concerned about your own child? What strengths and difficulties do they have? In general terms, yes, I know several people who are autistic and who have university degrees, careers, relationships, children of their own, etc.

[Injackane]

Yes, it’s about my son but he is too young to know what strength he has.

Reading through the forum, adults with ASD have aggressive tantrums, mostly no steady jobs (one study online said 85% of ASD adults don’t work), can’t clean and feed themselves, have trouble with making decisions and executive functions.

That all sounds pretty awful.

[Scirocco]

That doesn't have to be your son's experience. While some people have those difficulties, not everyone with ASD has those difficulties.

ASD is a really broad diagnosis, and individuals can have vastly different strengths and vulnerabilities. A supportive parent who can tease out their child's abilities in different areas can then help in lots of different ways, eg creating 'scaffolding' for them through routines, planning ahead for things like which schools might be good or which life skills need developing, creating space for decompression, making helpful adaptations to parenting styles, etc.

Life can be hard when you're not neurotypical but you have to navigate a society set up for neurotypical people, but life can still be happy and fulfilling.

Do you have much support in real life? And have you checked out the SEN section on here?

[Sonolanona]

My son is 26.
Autistic, some learning disability ( thought to be severe when he was small..now I'd say mild-moderate) went to special school. No speech til 5, no GCSEs

Did a supported work placement through MENCAP at 18 and at 19 was supported into a job at ASDA. 7 years later he works there full time, is FANTASTIC at his job and loved by many many customers.

So no he didn't go to university (thank heavens... IMO it just racks up debt unless you are going into a specific career...two of mine are now medics and still paying off student loans) but he has a job , he is very good at it, and he has way more savings than I will ever have!

He lives at home and yes would need support to live independently. He can do quite complicated stuff at work, process refunds, deals brilliantly with difficult customers, but he still needs help to shave, can't cook, can't pick suitable clothes for the weather, still doesn't understand the world. Has two friends who also have special needs, but doesn't go out socialising, can't drive, is dependent in many ways.

He is spotlessly clean and has never had a tantrum ever! He's not 'high functioning' to the degree I suspect you are talking about, and his autism is who he is to the core, but he has a pretty decent life and is an awesome person!

[Injackane]

Thank you, @Sonolanona , truly appreciate your helpful answer. Your son is doing amazingly well for someone with a medium autism. It was impressive to hear of how he is holding a steady job.
I agree with the comment about university and debt, I would be quite happy if my son does anything, stocking shelves at the supermarket is good, too, as long as it’s a job he can do and be happy.

You are a super mom !

[Injackane]

@Sonolanona , can he make himself a sandwich? You said he can’t cook but what about a basic sandwich

[Sonolanona]

Theoretically yes In reality he is very dyspraxic and his attempts to butter bread usually leave a slice of bread in tatters...and he's not great with a knife!
Day to day, he will do himself cereal for breakfast, and then will buy the exact same meal deal (wrap, yoghurt and drink) for lunch at work, and then whatever I have cooked for dinner. He works 'lates' most days so he doesn't always eat with us but I'll plate up stuff for him, and at least once a week he gets chips on the way home... not ideal but he's tall slim and reasonably healthy and while I'd like to police his food choices, he IS an adult!
He is a bit scared of hot things, and also would not remember to take things out of an oven (nor would it be safe) so 'proper' cooking isn't happening.

But having said that, he is still gaining skills. He's 26 now. In the last year he has started to remember to strip his own bed, put laundry on and in the dryer. He manages his own bank account, and I just occasionally check all is ok ... he is prone to being scammed and to contributing to ANY cause asking for money so I do keep an eye on that. We live literally a 2 min walk from his workplace so travelling there is fine, and he can take the local bus to town, but further afield he needs company, and he couldn't take a train, plane, go off on holiday etc, nor would we leave him home to go on holiday ourselves...he wouldn't burn the hosue down, but he might not notice if it was coming down round his ears!

His eldest sister IS high functioning... you wouldn't know immediately that she is on the spectrum ( you'd guess pretty quickly with my son). She is totally independent, has her own home and is a GP!! Can't drive (yet) as also dyspraxic but incredibly intelligent, kind and a good doctor. She has good friends.
BUT I'd say her life has been harder in many ways, her intelligence masks her crippling anxiety. Both of them are medicated for anxiety and OCD, which often goes with autism. She has ARFID and eating is an ongoing battle for her.

The thing with autism is, if you've met one person with autism...you've met one. Everyone is different. I work with severely autistic children..non verbal, sometimes very aggressive, and yet some blow us away with how the develop.. :)

Sorry, that was so long! But over 30 years of raising two children with autism (and two without!) and working in Special Ed , I know how much I have worried myself sick over my two, and how... somehow... things pan out ok. Maybe not how I imagined, but ok.
Of course I do have to live forever for DS2 but hey ho...

[Superscientist]

I know people who have autism and PhDs and full time jobs and careers.
I don't know the breakdown of types but 30% of my company recently identified as neurodivergent in a recent survey and since we had training more have started to explore getting tested and potentially diagnosed. I do work in science which probably skews things as it's an industry that typically has higher levels of diversity.