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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Impact of leaving a 10 month old at a gym creche once or twice a week for an hour?

41 replies

Tapster · 29/08/2007 15:21

I still haven't left my DD at the gym creche for an hour. The only person she has been left is with my DH. She doesn't see any other family that regularly so I can't really leave her with what to her is strangers.

I know lots of people leave their babies in the creche and if I hear one more time from my MIL how it would be "good for her" to be left with stangers I'll scream. My instincts are not to leave her - not because I am worried that something will happen to her but she will feel abandoned and get stressed.

I've given up my career to be a SAHM and plan to have her start Montessori at 2.5years for 2/3 mornings a week.

Am I being overcautious?

OP posts:

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dairymilkmonster · 12/03/2019 17:24

Both mine had 3x1hr sessions in gym creche from 3mo til I went back to work at a year. They loved it, I benefitted from the time in the gym.
Win-win.

kayza85 · 10/03/2019 21:13

Aww I'm sure your baby will be fine :) any one put there baby's in creche in Norwich ? I only need to put mine in for a couple of hours on a Saturday does anyone else do this and is there any creches in Norwich town centre central any advise many thanks kayza x

amidaiwish · 01/09/2007 10:49

I haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say that i left DD1 at the creche at the gym for an hour once or twice a week from 4 months old.
she was fine.
she's now 3 1/2 and has never shown any "ill effects" from this and is easy to leave with people when need be.

at the end of the day an hour's exercise / a break a couple of times a week will do you the world of good and ultimately your DD will benefit from that.

As long of course you are happy the care there is good. Mine was a Holmes Place gym and the childcare staff were qualified and excellent, i chatted to the staff and booked times when it was quiet (not half terms or after school). I also found booking a time when she needed a bottle was good as she was content sitting being fed for much of the time period.

Sakura · 01/09/2007 10:44

No, not too cautious at all. Its your instincts. You should have seen the performance Ive been putting up the past two weeks because I left my 11 month old DD in day care 5 times in the past 2 weeks (to work). She had one to one care with a lovely granny type lady who was called in especially, because my DD is under one. They asked loads of questions about DD, what she likes etc, and didnt put her down basically the whole time until DH picked her up after work. I still felt like I was abandonning her when her face screwed up and screamed. God that scream!!
But it did feel good to go to work, I have to say. It was a nice break!
Anyway, just go with your instincts

carocaro · 31/08/2007 14:17

DO IT DO IT DO IT

DS2 is 7 months and with ds1 aged 5 and DH away mon - fri I was going a bit loonatic from the lackof me time/personal space, my body felt crumpled due to lack of exercise. Started last week and all was A A A OK OK OK with the babe. I felt FAB after my swim, steam and the luxury of drying my hair PROPERLY. Happy Mummy equals Happy Kids. I am going twice a week from now on and as long as he is happy I will be too!

HenriettaHippo · 31/08/2007 09:36

another thought related to the last one. A friend of mine had a baby who'd sleep happily in his buggy. She used to park him near the machines and then do a run while he slept perfectly happily. Then when he woke up, she took him for a swim. Sounds perfect if your DD would sleep in her buggy?

mm22bys · 30/08/2007 16:25

I've been thinking some more about this. Presumably your dd is still having a daytime sleep -is there anyway you could time your visits to the gym so she sleeps then?

I know that she could wake up, and then be really confused and be hugely upset, but if she has a long day nap, it might just work out...

All the best,

Tapster · 30/08/2007 16:10

management at the gym creche is changing this month so ofsted won't be useful. There is not one-to-one care, and the staff change all the time. Big TV screen is put on, it doesn't look like much fun for her. Left her briefly with a godmother today, she was not that happy although not unhappy either and probably sees her more than my MIL, although godmother is about to move away too.

I want a break but I know in the whole scheme of things she is tiny for such a short time.

OP posts:

lulu25 · 30/08/2007 14:58

all gym creches get inspected by ofsted, so you can check out the report online if you want reassurance.

chipmonkey · 30/08/2007 10:26

OK,I think you are being a tad overcautious. I don't think for a minute that your dd will benefit from going to the creche but I think she certainly wouldn't come to any harm and it would give you a break. My gym have discontinued their creche and it really means I have no way of exercising unless I leave ds3 with MIL which I don't want to do for various reasons (long story!) I was anxious about leaving ds1 in creches but the anxiety dissipated the more children I had! ( Am expecting no.4!)

HenriettaHippo · 30/08/2007 09:19

Agree re Steve Biddulph - it is contraversial, and from my understanding he is talking about children who are in full time nursery care from a v young age. That's totally different from an hour a week at the creche! Although you are a SAHM, that doesn't mean you can't take some time out, if you want to.

ClaireBlair · 30/08/2007 05:19

I first left DS at the gym creche when he was about 12mths. I was very upset when he cried when I picked him up, but I could actually see him through the glass before he saw me and he was having a great time, so that reassured me. I haven't been for awhile (lazy!) but did go regularly for about 5 months and he used to love it, would be very excited to get there and play. It was only for about 1.25hrs at a time. He would grizzle when I turned up but only for attention, he was happy as larry. I found it great for me as 'me' time as I don't have family here and no close friends to leave him with. He is now 22 mths and last Friday night DH and I went out for our second time in the evening since he was born. I think also the Steve Biddulph book is talking about full time childcare rather than an hour every now and then - all mums need a break some time!

MaeBee · 29/08/2007 19:50

i thought before i had my baby that i would be happy to leave him with anyone i trusted. now he's 11 mths and i do have babysitters, but only people he knows well. even though he's asleep, its because i worry that if he wakes up it would be freaky for him to have someone he doesn't know. i became more of a Waltons style mum than i thought!
BUT i am really lucky to have that option, i live in a lovely social community with lots of friends who are crazy enough to babysit for free! so it means me and dp get some time out together.
have you read Steve Biddulph's book on the impact of nursery on the under 1s? it is quite controversial, cos it says that the research is nursery is stressful for babies, and not beneficial for their social development. i don't know what i think, read it when i was pregnant and it would be interesting to read it again.
i guess we live in a very unnatural society, whereby as Mothers we are seperated off from unmothering things when we are with our kids! nuclear families etc have a lot to answer for. the idea of home and work and leisure being seperate entities is particularly tricky when you've got small kids. and there's different pay offs and negotiations and compromises. sometimes i do whats best for ME rather than my boy, and thats a good thing cos otherwise i'd go nuts! there's no point being a maytr mother...can't remember who coined the phrase, but the idea of being a "good enough mother' kind of sees me through any guilt!

maman4 · 29/08/2007 18:04

It should be ok as long as you re happy to leave DD but ask if it will always be the same member of staff in charge of her.Will help her to settle if it s the same each time.

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:50

looking after her

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:50

You've misunderstood. I meant, if you don't mind no one else looking over her at any point in the day just now then it doesn't matter. Obv I wasn't assuming that you would never let her out of your sight ever.

If you want to go to the gym, give her a shot at the creche. If you don't, then I wouldn't bother too much about what other people say.

That's all I meant.

Tapster · 29/08/2007 17:45

Pointy dog I plan not to let my daughter out of my sight until she is at least 16, and plan to BF her until then too.

Thanks for those comments which were positive.

OP posts:

HenriettaHippo · 29/08/2007 17:44

I leave my 11 month old at the creche for an hour every Tuesday. It's always the same staff, so he knows them now. Have done with his older DS as well since about the same age.

DS2 hated it when he was 6 months, so I abandoned it for a while and tried again 3 months later. Now he's fine.

I think it certainly does no harm if you trust the staff. They should do a short session the first time, and should ALWAYS come to get you if DD is distressed and can't be comforted. You'll probably be pleasantly surprised by how happy she is. And it will be good for YOU to get the time and to take the exercise.

Sounds like MIL is itching to look after DD? could she have her for a couple of hours a week so you can go to the gym?

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:35

and as mellin said, do you want to go to the gym or not?

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:34

I think you're very overcautious, yes, but it's your baby so if you don't mind no one else ever looking after her then it doesn't matter, does it?

Lazycow · 29/08/2007 17:21

Tapster

I'd say that your MIL is aching to look after your dd and so is making those comments as a round about way of asking to look after her

You don't have to leave her with anyone you don't want to (MIL included) but it might help you to know that there is probably a hidden agenda in your MIL's suggestion. i.e ' If she gets used to stragers then may she will be Ok with me' type of thinking

Your dd will get over her separation anxiety in due time and you can leave her when you feel comfortable.

FWIW though if your MIL visits every few weeks she won't be a stranger to your dd for long so as long as you are happy with it why not try leaving your dd with your MIL maybe just for an hour at first while you go and get a cup of coffee or have a lie down?

Or maybe you could explain to your MIL that you don't want to be separated from your baby at the moment but as soon as you feel more comfortable about it you feel ready you will ask your MIL to babysit (assuming you trust your MIL to look after your dd that is)

mm22bys · 29/08/2007 16:45

I didn't leave DS1 with non-family till he was close to a year, but started leaving DS2 when he was only a couple of weeks old (Mum was here and we wanted to go out to dinner so we did!). He didn't miss me till he got hungry (I was still bf then).

I think especially first-time mums are alot more concerned than we need to be about leaving our DCs - I really do not see the harm in leaving your DD for an hour or so - it might do YOU good, and it won't "harm" your DD.

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nailpolish · 29/08/2007 16:31

daisy

Tapster · 29/08/2007 16:30

MIL thinks its to do with reducing separation anxiety. DD at 10months is getting clingy when first with strangers but is a socialable smiley little girl. I think I may leave it until she is 15months when separation anxiety reduces and also when we have been to some toddler groups.

MIL has two daughters who are happy to leave their babies when they are weeks old overnight with her . MIL only visits every couple of weeks and DD hasn't a clue who she is yet so for her she is still a stranger - even MIL has realised so is a bit upset!

OP posts:

daisyandbabybootoo · 29/08/2007 16:26

oh i'm only going on my experiences...limited though they are. my friends ds didn't get left with anyone until she went back to work when he was three and he had a very hard time settling, but mine who regularly stayed with my parents, and my sister as well as the creche at a local family centre for an hour twice a week, settled fine.

Like you say, it depends on the child. ds is quite an outgoing child.

LOL sounds i abandoned him left right and centre!

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