DD1 aged 5 - is this normal?

[jeangenie]

DD1 is aged 5 and just completing reception - I know she is tired after a full-on year but is this normal?
tantrums (full on screaming and shouting) approx 5 times daily (medium day, more on a bad day)
won't sleep at night until about 9/9.30
super sensitive to everything
on the way home after school today kept telling me she wanted to kill herself (we'd had a bit of a standoff when she wanted to go in her little sisters buggy instead of walking which was too tricky with the traffic)- is saying you want to die/kill yourself normal at just turned 5? it sounds a bit heavy to me
she has just started having wee accidents in the last few weeks, wee'd in bed last night
now she has developed little pimples all around her mouth and nose and one of her nostrils is looking all sore and raw
I've kept her off school two days in the last week to try to let her rest/sleep as I reckon she is just exhausted but she just doesn't ever seem to wind down. yesterday was reception class picnic in the park too, which ordinarily I'd have thought she'd love but she didn't want to go at all
does this sound normal? any ideas on how to help her relax a bit? what do you reckon to the pimply things?

[constancereader]

Forgot to say that it isn't your fault! You sound like a lovely and caring mum who is doing their best for their child.

[jeangenie]

thanks Constance, it is reassuring to know we are not alone in this. have you really heard kids as young as 5 say this though?

I am not so worried that she would follow through on anything but am just very sad and concerned that she could be feeling as stressed and unhappy as these signs seem to be portraying

drawing some pictures is a good idea, hadn't thought of that

[constancereader]

Yes, about that age. They seemed fine later.

I really feel for you, and I'm glad you have a supportive GP.

The picture thing I have found really helpful with children who are scared to come to school, or stressed and unhappy and we don't know why. It has often (not always) resulted in a conversation which has been helpful to me - and during the conversation I have drawn my own picture, of me wanting to help! We have then talked about a way which I might be able to help, and I have given the child a written contract that I will carry it out. For example, with a child who thought that the dinner ladies didn't believe him, we came up with
"If I show this token to an adult I can go and see Mrs Reader straight away so that I can tell her my feelings." It can empower them to feel more in control of things. I know that this is not necessarily relevant to your situation, just wanted to give an idea of what I mean. The picture should be owned by the child, and can be added to during the discussion, or later if the child wants.

Hope this makes sense!