DD (6) wetting herself regularly - but only at school. Any ideas??

[AlienEars]

DD has always been strong-willed. We go through spells of her behaviour being more feisty than normal and we have been going through a lengthy spell for the past couple of months. There have been no major upheavals in her life recently which might explain the changes.

During the last term she has started wetting herself at school. Only at school, though, never at home/elsewhere - she had no accidents during the Easter holidays at all. She doesn't tell the teacher so by the end of the day has a wet dirty patch on her clothes and stinks (they don't seem to notice). When it has been hot it has rubbed her skin and the top of her legs have been red raw.

I have been to see the teacher and she says DD is happy at school, no apparent problems etc. The school have said they will try to prompt her to go to the toilet. DD is part of a triangle of friends but I don't think there is any more than they 'normal' amount of 'I'm not your friend any more' argy-bargy going on.

I have asked her why and she just says she doesn't know. I have tried every approach from trying to ignore it and just providing clean clothes to withdrawing treats - she just says she doesn't care.

I can't decide if it is just that she genuinely forgets - it often seems to be during afternoon playtime when she is outside and hasn't got time to go back to the toilet, or attention-seeking, or if she could have a medical problem (but presumably not if she can stop wetting herself for weeks at a time?)

I'm off to wash the two sets of uniform she got through today, but any ideas/suggestions are most welcome.

[bunjies]

Hi everyone

Thought I'd resurrect this thread as I was searching through the discussions for responses to a similar problem with my dd(5).

My dd has started wetting herself at school (and only at school) since the beginning of the school year. We are at a loss to understand what is causing it and when we try and talk to her she says she doesn't know why she is doing it. Just before half term we arranged with her teacher that when she needed to go to the loo one of her friends could go with her in case she was scared of going on her own. This seemed to do the trick when she returned to school and she even started going on her own. We've cracked it we thought but unfortunately this week she started again. We've tried sticker charts, rewards and whilst they work short term it doesn't last. The really strange thing is that she seems completely unfazed by it.

Does anyone have any further advice as to how we can deal with this as it's really getting us down and we're starting to berate her for it .

[cornsilk]

Maybe she just leaves it too late and doesn't realise she has to go on time. Are the toilets near to class? My ds (9)had this problem - still does sometimes. Like your dd he really didn't care! He's more or less grown out of it now tho.

[christywhisty]

On the Child of Our time programme they gave an interesting piece of information. When asked what was scariest thing about school the majority of children said the school toilets.

[AlienEars]

Thanks - at home everything is fine, drinking and going to the toilet regularly, with the odd battle about 'I don't need to go' when you try and persuade her to go before going out...

I'm not there at school so I can't make her go every break time. I remind her every morning as she goes in, I've asked the staff to remind her, and the TA said she'd make sure she reminded all the class so DD isn't made to stand out. Result? Two wet uniforms instead of one today!

[ThatSoupdragon]

Is she drinking enough?
is she holding on?
Is she weeing regularly at home?
Is she worried about using the loo at school?

You need to make sure she drinks regularly and goes to the loo at each break even if she does not 'need' it.