dd3 (2yo)is so difficult and miserable and cross, i am starting to feel that there is nothing endearing about her

[ScreamingMimi]

I'm wrong of course, she is endearing sometimes, but it is getting increasingly difficult to remember those times.

She is 2.3 and ever since she has been tiny she has been permanently cross and discontented. Now if she is in the house she either wants me to hold her the whole time so she can stroke my hair (I have other children so this isn't possible), or she is busy drawing on things, tearing things, throwing things, or hitting her siblings. If I take her to the playground or a toddler group she hits/pushes/bites other children, if I take her to the shops she screams incessantly, she hates the pushchair, the carseat, the highchair (if I am anywhere near her in the kitchen she wants to sit on my knee to eat). I don't think it's a question of discipline - she knows it's wrong to hit etc, and always gives me a challenging look when she does something naughty. I know all about praising good behaviour, ignoring bad, and the naughty step etc etc. I'm more inclined to think that it is a combination of her wanting to be with me the whole time and being a malcontent by nature.

I have just had to leave church with her. Normally there is a creche there and she is ok there (as long as I stay with her), today there wasn't a creche and she just started screaming and trying to run around. I had to leave as there were too many people tutting.

I'm just ranting on here I know there is nothing that can be done (but tips are welcome ) - she was a miserable baby, a miserable toddler, I dread to think what she will be like as a teenager. In the meantime I switch from feeling bad that she is so unhappy about everything to resentful that she stops us doing so much and takes so much of my attention from my other children.

(I'm a semi-regular poster btw but changed my name because I've been outed in real life).

[WanderingTrolley]

Sympathy.

She won't be like this forever. If you put her on the naughty step, does she stay there?

Oh, and wear a wig

[ScreamingMimi]

nightowl, my dd likes to pull my hair! hard. lovely isn't it?

[ScreamingMimi]

the problem is I can't just leave her to be a malcontent, because she either destroys things or hurts people . I've got past the stage of trying to please her, I just want an easier life now.

When I meet up with friends with children she usually hurts the child.

She is happy at this exact moment in time actually. The other children are with dh and she has my undivided attention (well apart from the 'puter ).

[nightowl]

oh dear, dont know what to say. sounds just like my dd (only difference, she doesn't hit other children, just hits me). sympathy, lots of. i know the feeling you describe.

[colditz]

Do you think, that as you obviously feel guilty for thinking of her as a congenital malcontent, perhaps you are trying too hard to please her? And maybe expecting more happiness for your efforts, whereas she is just having a day when she is being a misery to see what it feels like, and never was going to be pleased whatever you did?

[shouldbedoingsomethingelse]

oh you poor thing.

do you have friends that you can get together with so that she can "play" whilst you at least have a natter and coffee?

Its such a difficult age they get frustrated at everything!