DS1.....

[Flowertop]

Hi I used to post on here about DS1 and my problems with him. He is 8 now, has a stammer and have always been really worried that he will be bullied at school. Not just because of his stammer but he is also extremely passive. A good friend of mine told me this morning (she works at the school) that DS1 is bullying her daughter verbally. Put downs at every opportunity etc. She said that one of the other teachers had noticed it when she was overseeing the class. This teacher said nothing as she wanted to discuss it with his form teacher in person. I was really upset and have to say rather embarrassingly, cried in front of her. Had a really bad week and was also shocked to think he could behave this way when I have always been so worried about him being bullied. I thought when she said she wanted a word with me about DS1 it was to tell me he was being bullied. My friend has been role playing with her daughter to try to manage the situation but also obviously needed to discuss with me too.
I don't want to go mad at him but want to really make him understand how much he is upsetting this lovely little girl. I know why he is doing it to gain some 'class cred' with his mates, because his confidence is very low. Can anyone offer any help with this. XX

[helbel3]

Flowertop, with regards to the stammer have you tried the seven steps of fluency. DS2 had a stammer, first diagnosed just before the age of three, and it had been happening for some time. I am not kidding within days of starting the therapy he was much better and now hardly ever stammers.

Although, if he does have a relapse which is always likely we go back to basics. Let me know, if you havent tried it I will email the necessary to you.

[Hughsie]

Flowertop. I really sympathise with your issue. I think we worry so much about our children and if you are like me I am obsessed with anyone thinking bad of them or judging them. i have not posted much in the last few years but notice that you are really kind to others on threads and always try and offer a shoulder which is a lovely quality. Wishing you well

[Flowertop]

Thanks Twiglett, his stammer is not good I'm afraid. Have had loads of therapy and spoken to every expert in the land. I'm beginning to think there is nothing we can do as he has been stammering on and off since 2 years old. Just meant to be I think.
XX

[Twiglett]

awww flowertop .. I'm not surprised you cried a little .. it must have been such a shock .. think you're dealing with it admirably .. and I think your friend will understand

how is his stammer now then?

[Flowertop]

Sorry - listening

[Flowertop]

Have had a long chat with him about it from school. He denied that he had been nasty and then said well only a very little - maybe. He got very upset. I have explained that she must be feeling really bad and asked him how he would feel in the same situation. Said he didn't like her because when she was at ours for tea she wasted her pizza - i.e. she said she liked pizza and then didn't eat it when given it. Just shows you how their little minds work. I said that he doesn't have to like her and if he feels such fury with her then he must be polite and no nasty comments. DH is insisting that he goes to her house tomorrow (with DH) to apologise for being nasty and promise that it won't happen again. Hopefully this will put it to bed. I am so embarrassed about being tearful in front of my friend and feel I did overeact. Sometimes it really depends on how you are feeling at that particular moment.
Thanks for listing.
XX

[southeastastra]

i wonder why he dislikes her so much

[Flowertop]

Thanks for your quick response. The problem is that for some reason he really does not like the little girl. At home I have noticed that if I mention her name he flares up and is really not nice about her. I have always said something positive about her to any negative remarks he makes. This really winds him up and he asks why I am so nice to her. I thought he was only like this about her at home but never thought he would be so horrible at school. We have been out with them a lot and on a one-one he is ok.
XX

[southeastastra]

oh i really feel for you. is there anyway you could take them out together, if you are friends with her mum?