How can I get my 4 year old to start socialising with other children?

[susan198130]

My son turned 4 in July and has just started school. He went to nursery before that from the age of 3. He did 5 mornings a week. They said that he wasn't mixing with the other children so referred him for speech therapy. Not for his speech as they said that wasn't an issue but that it might help him to learn to communicate better. So we saw the speech therapist and she thought he was fine but sent someone to observe him in nursery where they saw that he doesn't mix. On his second appointment, she wasn't so sure that he's "fine" and is going to refer him to someone who deals more specifically with social issues.

We also had a referral to the community pediatricians. This was a 90 min appointment where they did all sorts of assessments, mainly interacting with him and asking him to do things. They were of the opinion that he's absolutely fine, it's probably more just his personality and that he's shy. But they are going to review him in 6 months time once he has (hopefully) settled at school.

So he's been at school for the past 2.5 weeks. I spoke to his teacher and she said he does prefer to play independently. He may play alongside the other children (same as his nursery had said) but not really with them.

So I'm just wondering has anyone else had this issue and their child has gone on to make friends? I hate to think of him being alone with no friends at school. Even if he's happy that way, I know he'd be so much happier with friends. Does anyone have any advice or tips to help him? I have friends with kids of the same age who we see regularly, but he literally just sticks to his brother (who is 2.5) like glue. They are both inseparable although my 2.5 year old is fantastic at playing with other children when my 4 year old isn't there.

[VioletBam]

How do you think his language is? Does he converse well at home? Speak about the things he is interested in? Also, how does he play? What games or toys and activities are his favourites?

[LucyLocketLostHerPocket]

One of mine is a late July birthday and she didn't really start playing with other children properly until Yr1. She was perfectly happy by herself or with company but playing independently, I just assumed it was a maturity thing as no one was ever concerned. Now she has caught up with everyone else and is on a par with the kids in her year who are 10-11 months older.

[strawberrybubblegum]

Could you organise a play date with another child at his school (maybe ask the teacher who would be a good match)? He may find it easier one to one and in his home environment, and hopefully the increased familiarity will continue into school.