Lying....

[fruitysmoothie]

My DD is 4 and is lying almost constantly, I just don't know what to do anymore :( I've tried various things like talking it through, time out, loss of privileges... nothing seems to work. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through similar? Is this level of lying normal or should I be worried? I should add, some of the lies haven't exactly been small either

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Very normal, you WANT her to learn that it's usually inappropriate to lie but also to be able to tell a social lie with reasonable facility and to understand why sometimes we don't say everything we think as soon as we think it.

She doesn't have a handle on reality and fantasy yet. If you punish her or start calling her a "liar" over it (very common for parents to do this), you can actually end up having the opposite of the intended effect -- the child takes your account of them as a liar as true, and decides that's a fundamental trait of their personality now, when it could have been a simple developmental phase.

[YokoUhOh]

PS as it's developmental, it'll no doubt just be a phase and you'll notice the lies lessening over the next few months.

[YokoUhOh]

Lying is normal, and a vital social skill. We lie all the time: 'love your new haircut, nan!'. Your DD has just started to realise that we all have different viewpoints and she can 'pull the wool over your eyes'.

I'd praise her when she tells the truth and try to ignore the White lies.

[fruitysmoothie]

Anyone?