When did you stop wiping your child's bottom for them?!

[BretonTop]

Ds1 is 5.5yrs and still insists, most of the time, that myself of dh wipes his bottom. If I'm really busy he will do it begrudgingly. It's always fine when he does it (I check its clean and give him praise).

He's just being lazy and taking the piss, isn't he?!

[PirateJones]

my daughter still sometimes needed help at 11 and 12. but she was able to do it herself at 4.

[PassiveAgressiveQueen]

Teachers at school don't wipe his arse for him.

[BretonTop]

I'm with you Lake - my ds is perfectly capable of wiping his bottom, and has been taught since he was about 3. He just doesn't like to We have cracked down on him this past week and refused to help, so he has got on with it after ten mins of shouting and moaning from the loo seat. We check if he wants us to.

I can't ever imagine a time when he'd poo anywhere but home He withholds for a good five days on hols before we end up bribing him with sweets or a magazine!

[backtowork2015]

Dd age 4 was a definite home pooer and wanted help with wiping, started reception and managed to not poo at school for around 6m so we didn't intervene, but then she ran into problems with soiling because she really didn't want to poo at school. We played hard ball and insisted she wipe at home. We didn't even check it was clean, as no one would at school so we had to show her we were confident in her ability. Plenty of praise for a "job well done" at school too

[LakeFlyPie]

I agree wholeheartedly, he has received extensive instruction and is able.
Just prefers to shout "finished" at home and steadfastly holds it in anywhere but home or GP's house

[insancerre]

By the time children go to school they should be able to wipe their own bottoms
Its an essential life skill after all

I'm surprised more parents don't actively teach this skill

[LakeFlyPie]

Yes ex Doomer still battling along in a SW fashion
DS1 will 'go' at any opportunity (with alarming speed - no newspaper for him!) but DS2 remains a steadfast home poo-er.
I live in hope he'll sort it out in the not too distant future without causing GI issues in the process

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Bloody hell, DD was only just 4 when she went to school and managed ok! SN is different of course, but I really think a 4 year old at school should be able to manage this?!

[TheSolitaryBoojum]

We are lovely and kind and helpful.
I'm allowed to think that children should have been encouraged to be independent and to notice the difference between children who have parents who do allow them to try and fail and try again and those who have the majority of things done for them and are passive.
Whilst smiling and wiping and cutting up fruit and getting them dressed and undressed...

[NotmeItWasNotme]

I once exasperatedly asked DS when he would wipe himself. He replied when he is 12

He started doing it himself consistently by 6, but with toddler wipes.

[InsaneDame]

My mum had four kids under 5yo at one point - we were taught to be independent at the earliest opportunity!

[BretonTop]

Hello LakeFlyPie! I recognise your name from years ago (are you an ex-Doomer? I've name changed!). Glad I'm not alone with a 5.5yr old with holder. Mine won't even go at the Grandparents now He has amazing skills to hold it in so well, I've no idea how he does it. He's always been "I don't 'go' out and about - only at home". It's weird. I don't know where he got it from (not me!).

He would sooner die than go at school, though agree the poster who is a teacher (Reception?) doesn't sound particularly empathetic? Some kids in his class still have accidents, and I'd like to think the lovely staff there are sympathetic and kind.

Oh, I so know what people mean when they say they're not sure their child's arm is long enough to reach, too!

[InsaneDame]

I think 4 is quite old enough to be wiping their own bottom. I really think this is something they should have been taught to do before school - the teachers have a class full of kids and I don't think they could leave the class to wipe a bottom? Or even allowed to?!

[paxillin]

Bum wiping services simply weren't offered by our primary school. Children with SN were given help of course.

[TheSolitaryBoojum]

Oh they ask for help and get it, without any indication of disapproval from me. I find a number of parents avoid having to spend the time, effort and bother of getting their children to wipe bottoms and other basic skills.
I've had children come out of the toilets and announce 'I've wiped x's bottom because they couldn't do it, and I washed my hands'
They are happy to ask whoever is available to help, sometimes they just shout out and wait. Sometimes they ask whoever is in with them to do it. Unisex toilets in reception.

[IdaShaggim]

I have a 6 yr old DD and did 'staged withdrawal' on this!! We are now down to wiping once a day only (last thing at night before bed... She's tired and I can't be arsed with the drama). I suspect she'll start wiping herself at nighttime too as time goes on.

[Pidgythe2nd]

Solitary, I'm wondering whether you make any allowances for summer born children. Summer term in reception could mean almost 6 for some children, but some could still be 4. Quite a difference, and I'd be unimpressed if a teacher made any child, particularly a summer born, feel like they couldn't ask for help.

[IMurderedStampyLongnose]

😂😂my DS is 5 and told the teaching assistant in front of all the other parents last week-"I told you,I don't do poo's in school!"This is because I wipe his butt for him😳think some coaching is required for next year.

[RiverTam]

DD is 6 and a half and I check hers once she's had a go, she is slowly getting better but I can't let her go about with a smeary pooey bottom! It's not a problem as she never poos at school.

[Breadwidow]

Saw this in active threads and the responses are making me nervous. My son is 4, starts reception in Sept and cannot do it very well at all. I encourage him to try but it's like no attempt has been made at all. After watching, TMI, I honestly think his arms aren't long enough to reach around properly. I mentioned my concern to his pre school teacher who said don't worry at all, don't force it, maybe she was being nice?

[LakeFlyPie]

Ha OP, I could be you; am usually wearing a striped top and have a DS 5.5 who always announces when he's 'going for a poo' and when he's 'finished'!
He refuses to poo anywhere but home or GP's house even though he's perfectly capable of wiping himself. I'm not too worried about it and feel confident he'll finally stop being so lazy at some point.
The only concern is that he does cause himself a bit of discomfort by holding it in on the days he goes to after school club (at school 9-5.30) and he says he won't poo at school because he doesn't want to make the toilet smell. I'm not sure there's a lot I can do to reassure him other than affirm that everyone is in the same boat with regard to that one! His older brother was independent by the time he started reception and has never had any qualms about which toilet he uses when the need arises.

[Oliviacolemansshriek]

This is cause of many arguments in our house. It's been a year since we started getting him to do it himself. Thought starting the summer before year R would be enough time to have him ready to start school. But oh no, even now every bloody time is a stand off. He will sit on the loo or end up lying on the floor next to the loo rolling around and possibly getting poo everywhere indefinitely.
I do make him do it but it takes about 10 minutes of shouting negotiation. My life is too short for this!

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

DD is 6 and mostly manages on her own, but if she does a messy poo, she will ask me to check her (and usually needs a couple of extra wipes)

[tilder]

I think dd could still do with a hand judging by her pants... I stop wiping by school.

Then I don't eat anything they cook.

[braceybracegirl]

my son was 5 yesterday and ive told him no more!!!