My daughter is 10 and in year 5. Up until this year her friends have mainly been boys but a new boy joined her class who she doesn't like that much and he became friendly with her best friend. As a result she has moved away from the boys and started to become more friendly with some of the girls. I think however, she doesn't feel that she fits in anywhere in her class. She's a tomboy who loves playing football and doesn't generally get into the politics of friendships.
However, this year has been hard for her. She is well liked, I think mainly because she doesn't get involved with all the issues, but she doesn't have a best friend. Her teachers tell me that she's always playing with people and that she's happy and engaged in school. However, she's in a class with an odd number and I there are times where she's the one who has to make up the 3 or who is picked last for teams. She's clever and sporty so it's not like it's because they don't want her, she's just not anyone's best friend. She has lots of playdates and gets on very well with both the boys and girls on a one to one basis.
However, 2 things have happened this term which have unsettled her. Firstly, the school has decided that there's no playground football this term and therefore the boys have started playing cricket which she doesn't like and she says that she's not good at and then people are mean to her. The girls are keen on skipping which she's also not keen on and she had a bit of a falling out with one of her girl friends over this girl excluding her from a game. The teacher addressed this and I thought it was sorted but DD can hold a grudge and won't let it go. She's not refusing to play with the girls as this girl is "annoying and showing off all the time".
This resulted this morning in her saying that she didn't want to go to school. I went to speak to the teacher who I have been in regular contact with about this all term (poor teacher) and she assured me that she's keeping an eye on it and that DD isn't generally on her own and that when she's the last one to be picked or has to make a 3 it's not all the time but DD takes it to heart.
I simply don't know what to do. I think that there is an element of her being upset about it but I also think that she might be fabricating the severity of the situation for my benefit. e.g she went into the playground at drop off and wandered around on her own. She tells me that she's always on her own yet the playground lady came up to me and asked me if she was ok as she was on her own and she's usually with other people.
She does struggle socially as she's quite tomboyish which is what makes her so special but it can make it hard and I think that she's becoming much more conscious of this and struggling how to find her feet.
I'd really appreciate any advice.
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Behaviour/development
10 year old girl and friendship problems
5 replies
luellabelle · 09/05/2016 09:30
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