clingy phase - upset at nursery

[flymo79]

hi all
anxious first time mum here. My 14mo has started nursery full time and I'm finding that she's hit a wall, she has been going since the beginning of the month but is now starting to be really clingy and upset at me leaving her. At first it was all a bit of a novelty, now she screams on our way up the steps and is really upset at me leaving. There are other children who are also crying when we get there, and I/she find it all very distressing.
Any tips? I talk to her on the way there about how she's going to have a lovely time, playing with all her friends, how fun it will be and mention the sand pit/toys that she likes to play with and talk about her key person as her friend. Just feel it's a bit of a battle. And then I get to do a stressful job all day!
Also, when we get home she is often very tired and cranky and cries a lot when I am trying to give her a snack, play with her before bathtime. All adds up to a lot of 'crying time' that I get in the day instead of any of the lovely playing and cuddling time.
Feeling a bit fed up!

[flymo79]

bump - anyone?

[greenhill]

What do the staff say about her tears? Have you asked her key worker how long she takes to settle once you have left? Have they talked about what distractions they use with her?

It's very upsetting for you, but she may be surprisingly ok once she's doing a favourite thing and "forgets" that you aren't there.

[Millymollymama]

At 14 months children do not have friends. They play in a solitary way so some of what you say will not mean much. Given that she is really only baby she is being left for long periods and is possibly tired and irritable when it is time to come home. I would ask the nursery staff for an opinion but lots of children are like this. She probably just wants you.

I might consider a childminder. A smaller group of children and in someone's house. Perhaps after Christmas if there is no improvement. I do feel for you and it is hard to leave a crying child. My younger one was like this at 2/3 but grew out of it.