ds public toilet habits.

[januaryblues11]

my ds is 4.2yo. he's very independent for his age. When we are out and about and he needs the toilet, he refuses to go in the ladies with me. He gets upset if I insist on it. Says he's a boy and must go to the boys toilets. Problem is of course I can't follow him in there. The other day I was waiting outside for him and I could hear him crying. a nice man bought him out to me, he'd locked himself in the cubicle and couldn't get out. I know you will all tell me to insist that he comes in the ladies with me but he is mortified at doing this. not sure what to do about it.

[MrsTawdry]

Seriously just go in the mens with him! You can't leave a 4 year old in there alone! Why wouldn't you go in the men's with him? Walk straight into a cubicle and straight out...use sanitary spray or wipes for hands.

[CatWithKittens]

I am afraid I disagree with you MrsTawdry. He is 4; he should not be dictating at that age and, having been in OP's shoes myself, I can say that any upset will be short lived compared with the long term upset caused by letting a child of that age rule the roost. Faced with the same problem I simply told DS2 that he could not go on his own, Mummy could not go into the men's loos and he would have to come with me. A lot of shouting (by him) followed by a pair of wet pants ensued and so we cut out our trip to the swings, slides etc which had been planned to go home to change him and we stayed there. We had no further problems as I simply reminded him what had happened last time and that if he was silly he would again miss out on a treat.

[MrsTawdry]

yes....cat's probably right actually OP. Far better to just insist he goes with you.

[Jingleybells]

He should go with you. 4 is too young to be going into a public toilet on his own. I agree that he should not be calling the shots at this age

[NotCitrus]

He needs to go with you, unless it's a very small place like the back of a restaurant, when I let dn and ds go alone with the warning that if they aren't back in 5 minutes I will come investigate. So far nothing worse than inability to operate a tap.

[BertieBotts]

At that age we called them "Mummies" and "Daddies" toilets and children have to go with whichever adult they are with depending on whether they were a mummy or a daddy.

[BertieBotts]

And toilets at school ARE for girls and boys, because they are small toilets for children. But when in public the toilets are for mummies and daddies and children are allowed in both but they need to be with an adult because the grown up toilets are harder to use and they might need help.

[januaryblues11]

thanks for the input all! I agree I probably do let him call the shots too often. will just insist he goes with me in future.

[screamingeels]

Whilst I agree with people who are saying you should make him come with you if you are worried. I don't see why 4.2 is to young to go to toilet on his own.

My DS is 4.6 and always goes to mens on his own - even if DH is there we wait outside - he's done this since before he was 4. He is admittedly generally preety competent at dressing/ undressing/ doors/ locks etc - though admittedly rubbish at washing his hands!

[CatWithKittens]

I am afraid that until my children are old enough to be told about "stranger danger" in a way which does not frighten them but still leaves them understanding enough, I would not let a boy of ours into mens' loos on his own. We have to remember that the whole business of peeing and therefore being available to be touched in the mens' is far more public than we have to put up with but we can't be sure without looking that there is necessarily safety in numbers at any given time!