Son bitten at nursery

[govind123]

Hi,

my son (18 months) has been bitten a few times at a child care nursery.
Happens at least once a week, if not more, for the past few weeks
Everytime, the staff assure us they are taking appropriate steps, they are shadowing the problem child, keeping a close eye on my son, asking for expert help, etc etc. But obviously whatever they are doing is not working.
They even told us they have spoken to the other child's parents
At this age group(18 months) not sure if they can be advised or understand right from wrong

So far there has been no broken skin, only deep bite marks.
I am at my wit's end & not sure what to do? Thinking of shifting my son but no places in the other child care nurseries near my place

I pay a huge amount as fees, and yet I dread when I get a call saying he's had another accident and got bitten

Can anyone advice?

Thanks

[murphy36]

I'd consider letting head office know it's come to this and what the local management has committed to doing.

[Pico2]

That sounds very positive, though I am not sure why it took you to having a meeting to get this out of them.

[govind123]

Had a meeting with the manager today
She has promised a personal monitoring and extra support to the toddlers room
Also promised to update me regularly on the new strategies being put in place to prevent further biting incidents

Giving them one last opportunity before I take it up with their Head Office

[BotBotticelli]

My DS has been bitten twice at nursery in 8 months. I accepted that its upsetting but shit happens when there's 8 rambunctious toddlers playing in a room together.

I am not precious about these things.

But I would be more concerned if it was happening every week - definitely set up a meeting with the manager, and say whilst you're aware biting is part and parcel of being in a nursery, you're NOT convinced they're doing enough to prevent it, cos it's slipped from being a one off occurance to a worryingly regular one...

[StercusAccidit]

LDF sorry i didn't mean to offend, it was a lighthearted comment.. i've got four children, they've all been bitten or hit and i know its just luck that none of them have been biters, i would be mortified and i've also seen helicopter parenting of biters where the mums couldn't relax at playgroup because the biting would seem to just 'happen' - they often said they could see the lead up to the incident if they watched closely.

But it doesn't change the fact that its not the problem of the op or her child and needs to be stopped. Its often not easy to move care facilities as there are often not enough places available as it is.

[Pico2]

Hurr1cane - Mumof3xox started with the additional needs point, which other than for funding purposes is irrelevant to the OP, who just needs to keep her DS safe.

[TenMinutesEarly]

I would say move to a childminder or nanny. Some kids go through a biting phase, one friends son was expelled from nursery! He's now a lovely 14 year old.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

My friend's son bit (a lot) at nursery, and eventually the nursery apparently applied for, and got, funding for 1:1 support for him - but shortly afterwards she chose to move him as she felt the nursery staff didn't like him very much. I well remember how stressful it all was for her. Therefore I think the comment up thread about a muzzle is a bit off - the biter is just a baby, after all!
Now, on the occasions that I am called into the office to discuss an incident at my dd's nursery, I am just grateful that dd has so far always been the bitten and not the biter, as I actually think, as a parent, this is the lesser of two evils!
None of which helps the OP, who is clearly in a very difficult and upsetting situation with her son. OP, I guess the nursery would be unable to prevent the child biting your ds in the short term, unless they can provide 1:1 support for him, which they may be unable to, or unless they keep the children apart, which given that they are friends might be a bit cruel. All you can control really is whether to move ds to a different setting - for this I would try to assess the situation overall - is he otherwise very happy there? Is the biting upsetting him as much as it is you? Etc. Also what are the alternatives available to you like, overall, in comparison to his current setting?
Good luck - really hope it works itself out.

[tohotnot]

I work in a nursery and in this situation management would get extra staff in so the biter is on a 1-1. It is not fair on the other children to keep getting bite all the time. A one off yes ( most children bite at sometime or another) but if your child is being bitten every week it is up to the nursery to sort this. Speak to management. Ask them what action has been put in place to assure this doesn't keep happening to your child.

It's hard on the staff in the room as they will all have a role to do, ie creative, bathroom ect they need an extra member on a 1-1at this time.

[MorphineDreams]

For gods sake!

And if the child has additional needs it is not the problem of the child being bitten or his family. The nursey need to address this themselves.

[MorphineDreams]

Sorry - and if the child has additi

[MorphineDreams]

and if the child has additi

[MorphineDreams]

Not sure why the first posters are almost excusing this.

Your child shouldn't be bitten at all. I would request a meeting with the manager to see how they're dealing with this because it is completely unacceptable that it has been allowed to happen numerous times.

If they cannot address it I would report it a a safe guarding issue and remove your child.

[StercusAccidit]

I'd take a muzzle in
But then i am a passive aggressive twat lol

Kids will bite/get bitten - but what you describe in the op would have me foaming at the mouth. It really is too much.

[Hurr1cane]

Pico what are you on about? No ones on about additional needs these are babies.

[Pico2]

What does stepping back and looking at the bigger picture do? Should the OP say "the biter may have additional needs, so it's fair enough that DS gets bitten regularly"?

[DikTrom]

Very young children may bite because:

• going through sensory phase, eg putting everything in their mouth, and some don't just taste but bite as well
  
• teething
  
• frustration
  

The nursery should know by now what the trigger is for this child and address it so your ds is not bitten. Not saying that this necessarily is the case, but if the biter is either being overstimulated or understimulated (bored) then it could mean that the nursery is at least not meeting the needs of this specific child.

I would raise it with the person in charge verbally and maybe follow up in writing and look at other childcare options in the meantime. Don't be surprised if your DS starts biting given how frequently he has now been bitten.

[Mumof3xox]

I just think a bit if stepping back and thinking about the bigger picture may not go a miss

As others have said if the op is so upset she could move him, although of course he may then meet another biter. Who knows

[Pico2]

Honestly, none of that is the OP's problem - it is the nursery's problem. The OP just needs to ensure that the nursery is able to provide a safe environment for her toddler.

[Mumof3xox]

Yes they do but some children who have additional needs will bite repeatedly and in a split second
If the nursery is unable to gain funding for 1-1 support for this child it would be a struggle! And even with 1-1 it can still happen

[Pico2]

It's normal to have the occasional bite, but this is really not acceptable. You need to arrange a meeting with the nursery manager. My DD was bitten once at that age, and she put her finger in the child's mouth, so I don't think it was entirely unreasonable to be bitten. But every week is not on.

Mumof3xox - the child might have additional needs, but that is entirely irrelevant. The OP's child has the right not to be bitten. The staff have a duty to ensure that.

[Mumof3xox]

It is possible the other child has additional needs, not saying they do just throwing it out there ......

[murphy36]

I'd want a proper plan from the nursery and start looking for a childminder if it upsets you and is happening too much.

[kkllww]

Kids will get bitten but for it to be happening this often isn't acceptable. As the nursery know what child is responsible, I would have a meeting with the manager and insist they implement a proper plan to ensure the biter is observed closely so he/she isn't given the opportunity to bite. I'm really surprised they aren't already doing this.

[Vicky5910]

Oh gosh i'd be gutted if my dd was bitten while in childcare, even once, but several times isn't on! I don't blame the kid bitig, the adults should be ensuring they safeguard the children!
A childminder might be an option if the nursery staff can't do their job properly. My dd is nearly 4yo and hated nursery. Her childminder still does the 15hours, an takes her to groups and she gets lots of time with other children while having a really close relationship with her :)