has anyone else had a pedal bike refuser?

[anothervisittothepark]

My almost 5 yo is determined not to pedal his bike. Its driving me mad. He absolutely LOVES his balance bike. But its getting way to big for it though and its very worn out from a lot of use. We will have to get rid of it. So he will no longer have a bike.
If i put him on his normal bike he gets a bit hysterical sayi g he cant do it. He pedals the pedals backwards but not forwards. He says his legs wont do it. He does tend to become hysterical quite easily its his nature.
I know he can do pedals cos i have seen him do them occasionally on a trike but he just seems to not like them much.
All his friends are on pedal bikes without stabilisers and i am worried he will miss out. I know how much he would love it cos of how much he loves his balance bike.
I know its generally better to do a laid back approach with these things normally and not put any pressure on but i know from experience with him that he sometimes needs a little persuasion otherwise he wont try anything new.
Does anyone have any tips? Do you think he just needs anither 6 months to mature a bit and try again later?

[GrowlLikeMargeSimpson]

My DS was just like this, he couldn't tell the difference between forwards and backwards with the pedals. We just left it and he learned to ride a bike last summer when he was 9yo.

[Jas]

DS didn't have a balance bike, but could ride a normal bike downhill from about 3. Only downhill though, as he too refused to pedal.

His bike remained virtually untouched for years, and as he got older he was less keen to try as all the other kids could do it already.

At almost 8 his bike got damaged when our shed caught fire, and we decided not to replace it. At 8.5, he got on a friends bike, and just rode it! No teaching, no stress, no falling off. It was great.

Within a few weeks you really couldn't tell that he had started riding years later than his peers, and he now loves it and rides everywhere.
I would definitely take off any pressure. He will probably do it when he is ready, and as other posters have said, if he never rides, it is unlikely to be an issue as an adult.

[MeanwhileHighAboveTheField]

Don't put stabilisers on whatever you do! Try rewards ans like someone said hold onto him - those little backpack things are great to give you more to grab than just a tshirt.

Is the saddle high enough for him to pedal without his knees in his armpits? But obviously still low enough for him to put both feet flat on the ground.

[Poppet45]

Actually slightly undersized bikes are supposed to be better to learn on. And stabilisers are not the work of the devil necessarily. It depends what your child struggles with. If their balance is ace but they are hopeless at pedalling then a balance bike isnt going to be able to help them is it? You want to offer support while they learn to pedal - so stabilisers or them on a tagalong. I've heard cycling sites recommend you could try taking one pedal off and see if that helps. But not two. Then they've just won a new balance bike. I'd rather see a 7 yo with stabilisers than a bb.

[MeanwhileHighAboveTheField]

I'd rather see a 7 year old on a balance bike than stabilisers

[Poppet45]

But why if a bb means they're stuck unable to use pedals for the forseeable? We dont have a car and if my son is to keep up with the school run only a pushbike with or without stabilisers would cut it speedwise as were always late. And as I said it took two goes without them and he was off. I know they're not as nice to look as a nice retro balance bike but they have their advantages and can overcome some problems unique to bbs. As a short term step to cycling they can be invaluable.

[Tigresswoods]

Hi Lovemyboots yes we have a tag along in the firm of the trailgator. It's alright but we've found it a faff.

As an update to my earlier post I took DS & his bike to the park this afternoon with a friend who can already confidently ride. Guess what, peer pressure kicked in, as his friend was riding he got on & off he went. He even enjoyed it.

Ha. I win. Which means we all win.

[ktef]

My ds1 was 8 before he learned. The whole thing had got really negative with both of us stressed. He thought he was "rubbish at it" and i just wanted him to "try" (I think I am the worst mother in the world looking back). I kept leaving it for months on end to take the pressure off, which is why he got to 8 before he learnt.
What helped was watching a youtube video of a lady learning to ride - don't know how to link but the one that helped my ds is called teaching bicycling without strain or something like that. I then left ds and dh alone and an hour later he could do it. He was SO pleased. The video definitely helped him as he could picture how it was not going to work immediately but would get there in the end. Sadly, it probably also helped that I stayed away.

[mathanxiety]

What's all this pressure about?

If your child isn't bothered that his friends are riding bikes while he is on a balance bike, why not just let him enjoy what he is doing? He is not yet 5. He has plenty of time. It does no harm to wait until children are emotionally ready.

I think they really have to want to do it before you can successfully teach them because learning can involve a good deal of falling off and it is scary for some. Best to have a child who is motivated so they will get up and try again if they fall, and not feel they are failing to achieve some expectation that someone else has imposed on them and feel reluctant to face the prospect of further failure to make the grade.

My five DCs all learned at different ages, from 5 to almost 7. I waited until they asked me to help them learn before we went out and it took about one weekend each. DD4 had a razor scooter for a few years and decided at age 5 to get up on the bike with no-one around, no helmet and learned in ten minutes. All that prior balancing and speed on the scooter did a lot of good. I looked out the front window and said 'that looks just like DD4 out there riding up the road...'

[KiaOraOAotearoa]

God, so it isn't just mine!
Peer pressure you say? Hmmm...I might do just that.
We need her to be able to cycle. She just won't. She loves youtube, might get her to check that too.

[NellyTheElephant]

All 3 of mine. You must just let him do it when he wants to. DD1 was DESPERATE for a bike, she rode her tiny one with stabilisers brilliantly , so that Christmas (she was 5 rising 6) we bought her a new bike, she was so excited, until she tried riding it w/o stabilisers and promptly refused to get on it again. We were quite annoyed about the whole thing (which probably didn't help), but she was implacable. About 6 months later (when she was 6) we went to stay with my brother. His daughter (3 months younger) had just learnt to ride her bike. Not to be out done DD1 told her cousin that she too could ride a bike (despite not having gone near her own bike in the last 6 months) and to prove it walked outside, got on her cousin's bike and basically just rode off... (v wobbly but she would not be defeated), she never looked back and loved her bike ever after.

DD2 totally refused to learn, then secretly learnt on a bike at school and surprised us one day with her perfect bike riding despite DH and I never having taught her due to her absolute refusal.

DS refused too, but this time we tried to force him kicking and screaming to get on with it (he's 5) as we were all keen to be able to go on bike rides... no good... what finally got him going was his same aged cousin coming to stay (who could ride) and his uncle taking the time to teach him (he didn't have tantrums with his uncle!)

[gourd]

You cant push any child to do anything. They have to want to do it for themselves and they also only do it in their own time. What you can do is ensure they see lots of other children doing it and see how much fun it is, then they will want to join in. DD (almost 4) is very cautious about everything and doesnt like to be rushed into doing anything but she is also quite competative and/or doesn't want to be left out of any fun, so if she sees others doing it and clearly enjoying themselves she wants to do it too.

Making their first few times doing any new actvity rewarding also helps - possibly by using an incentive (so that they have a nice memory of the day) such as ice cream. Then the child associates the activity with having a nice time. We used this for DD's swimming lessons - after swimmign lesson it's teatime anyway but we have something she really enjoys for tea, then we have ice cream. This means she wants to go swimming as she knows she will have her favourite foods for tea and then ice cream afterwards.

[Tigresswoods]

I'm pleased to report back that DS has now taken to 2 wheels & peddling & is showing enthusiasm. He's 2yrs 6m & I think the key drivers were:

*keeping up with his bigger friend
*showing off to smaller/same age friends
*knowing I would give him a push to get him started
*knowing I would be next to/ close to him so he wouldn't fall

We also moved him up from his titchy 12in bike to a slightly bigger one.

Good luck all.

[pearlgirl]

Ds4 has loved his balance bike but resolutely refused to pedal anything - until we got a tag a long - which having said he wouldn't go on it, he now loves and pedals all the time - he is 4 years and 3 months now - we got the tag a long in June.

[MeanwhileHighAboveTheField]

Well done Tigresswoods ds!

[Tigresswoods]

Ah thanks Meanwhile