Academically forward toddler :/ advice needed

[storm4mozza]

Hi Guys.

Im new to this forum , have recently been on netmums and babyandbump though found myself needing extra support without judgment or being seen as 'showing off' which i find rather pathetic, since i am only speaking the truth.

I have two toddlers. a 3 year old boy and 1 and a half year old girl, both are academically forward, main issue right now is the 3 year old. He is counting to 380, writing his name and other names, he knows the whole alphabet and much more, the issue is i am finding it difficult to occupy him, the doctor and health visitor advised i try get a tuition for one to one support to occupy him, but i cannot afford it (they said no groups are available for his age group) and i cannot afford nursery and his space does not become available until September.

I go out at least 4/7 times a week, its when we are home im struggling i cannot seem to occupy them we do painting, cooking, baking, tone of toys, helping with housework, colouring and also work books (from home bargains) i need help when im in the house i have support off husband but kids get so bored i dont know what to do =(

The neighbour below us works nights and i feel we have to be quiet,, i know people are going to tell me to ignore him but he is a good man and it is easy to say ignore him but hard to actually do it since we are living in the situation :( I just want to cry right now plans got cancelled and i have no money there is a thunderstorm outside and i have no idea what to do

[dashoflime]

If he likes cars- you can introduce him to "groups," which is an important concept in maths.

Get all the cars out and get him to:

1. Group all the red vehicals together
   
2. Group all the lorries together
   
3. Group all the emergency vehicles together etc
   

Then you can do Venn diagrams. Hula hoops on the floor so that they overlap (or draw overlapping circles on paper)

Red vehicles in one circle- lorries in the other
Where do the red lorries go? In the overlap!

Once he gets the idea- hopefully you can just give him the problems as your doing other things then check in from time to time to see how hes doing and praise him.

[Artandco]

Do look at annual swimming package if interested. Maybe not now but many places offer say a family pass for £70-100 a year. So all of you could go as much as you like. Sounds a lot but if interested in future maybe ask grandparents/ aunts/ uncles etc to contribute towards a pass instead of physical presents for Xmas or birthdays. In the same way you can get national trust/ farms/ zoos etc as pass. Think our nearest farm ( we are in London), is only £30 for whole year. Very good value if you can pass a morning every week there if you wanted.

Mine our 3 and 4 years so close in age. Today they are currently playing with Lego (duplo), 10-1ish we will be out at local castle ( have annual pass gratefully brought by grandma for xmas), 1-3, 3 year old will nap, 4 year old will read some books with us then listen to story tape alone. 3-4 they will play together with toys, 4-5 go out on there bikes, 5-6.30 swim, 6.30-8.30 eat/ play/read. Bed. We live in a 1 bed flat in London. So do tend to spend large chunk of the day outside.

Do you have an area close to you where they can play but you don't have to do much so not so worn out? A patch of gass anywhere can be instant picnic and take some play cars/ toys they can play on grass/ around trees whilst you read book a while

[KatoPotato]

Hula hoop Venn diagrams!!! I love this! X

[BalloonSlayer]

I was pretty rubbish at teaching our DCs to read with the phonics/sounding method. They all picked it up through learning to recognise words, having very simple books with repetitive vocabulary read to them. DS2 had some old "Kate and Sam" books - sooo boring! Here is the dog. Kate likes the dog. Sam likes the dog. Kate and Sam like the dog. The dog likes Sam. The dog likes Kate. The dog likes Kate and Sam aaaargh! - but he could read them in no time and was so encouraged!

DH had a good idea - he would teach the DCs what "and" and "the" looked like and then when he read to them, every time they got to an and or a the he'd pause and let them read those words. It encouraged them to want to do more.

[Inertia]

Oh definitely reading then - and as well as the library being a great source of books , they often run free activities .

I do agree with others in that trying to occupy toddlers quietly in a flat all dayis impossible. Getting out as much as you can will help. Do you have a children's centre nearby ?

[dashoflime]

Thanks KatoPotato My mum did them with me when I was little. I just thought of a way to make them even quieter and less labour intensive. When he has the idea really well- you could ask him to make one of his own then when he is finished Mummy will try and guess what the "groups" are. Hopefully this will lead to 10 mins of Ds earnestly rearranging cars followed by 1 minute of Mummy saying "Is it blue things and building site vehicals?- you are clever!"

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Hi just a thought but you could try going to some home-school groups for home edders. My oldest was verbally ahead of her peers but I found some groups near me with a range of ages as she found playgroups boring. link for Birmingham groups.

Some good ideas for science experiments www.bigeyedowl.co.uk/science/

We did things like bug hunts, pond dipping etc... Some nurseries take children from 2. My niece is at a nursery that has links to Forest School which might be good, they sometimes do charitable reduced cost places www.forestschoolsbirmingham.com/

[snoggle]

FFS I didn't say he didn't sound that clever, I said he sounded bright and able! I said not exceptional meaning that the suggestion to get tutors etc involved sounds a bit odd, I have never heard of such a thing, I would have thought that that would be something to do if a child was outside of normal range, exceptional.

Therefore hopefully the practical, non-exceptional ideas that people suggested are of more use to the OP than getting specialist help in.

Back to trying to be helpful, yes mine started really going for Lego at that age too, see what you can pick up on eBay maybe? We do treasure hunts too (inside and outside) which are popular, and you can make them last ages.

[PicardyThird]

Agreed, snoggle. I don't think anyone is doubting that OP's ds sounds bright and able. I think what we are saying - esp those who have somewhat older dc, maybe? - is that this age is not yet the time to be worrying about worksheets and tutors. When mine were small we baked, I read to them for hours and hours and hours (even the wonderful Dr Seuss began to lose his charm after the tenth rendition of Green Eggs and Ham - but it's set the two of them up for life with a love of books and reading), we went out loads, wandered around the local city farm, parks, botanic gardens, splashed in puddles through the streets round by us and gazed in slightly freaked fascination through the window of a nearby taxidermist. We listened to all kinds of music, made some ourselves, and had a summer of watching a heron who had colonised the local duckpond. And tbh, even if a child were exceptionally gifted I would be prioritising experiences of that kind. Even the exceptional need to learn to love and be curious about the world and gain a breadth of experiences.

[Deverethemuzzler]

OP 3 year olds can usually talk properly, are you sure the ones he has been trying to play with are his age?

My two youngest were a bit delayed in speech (but within normal ranges) and they were chatting at 3.

Children develop language at different rates but I would be surprised if he didn't find a 3 year old he could talk to.

And everything that Picardy just said

[IsabellaRockerfeller]

do you have any museums or galleries near by? they are often free to go in and have kids activities.

[SolomanDaisy]

I don't think being 'academically' advanced as a toddler means they get bored with 'normal' stuff, though people on here often seem to think it is the case. I honestly dont believe bright toddlers find playgroups boring, though their parents might. My nearly 3 year old is currently way out there with numbers and reading, but he never seems bored doing normal kids stuff. He loves his preschool, going to kids classes and playing in the park with other kids. He just enjoys the numbers and letters stuff a bit earlier than most other kids. It's a good way to occupy him quietly too.

OP, is there any chance you could move? Young kids above a shift worker must be really stressful for all of you. Or could you rearrange the layout of the flat so they can make a noise and not be disturbing him?

[Littlefish]

DoItTooJulia - SparkleBox is banned in almost every school and local authority as it is owned by man convicted of offences against children (I'm not sure of the exact details, but it is well documented). Everytime someone uses the site, he benefits financially.

[Littlefish]

I would suggest setting challenges with Lego etc. It's important that he begins to be able to entertain himself and not be constantly reliant on you to entertain him. You can use timers set to increasing intervals to help with this. Eg. Start with "you've got 10 minutes to build me a rocket that can fly to the moon" and then gradually increase the amount of time and the complexity of the task.

I would also agree with all the recommendations to get outside to the park as often as possible with things like magnifying classes etc.

[MissYamabuki]

Hi Op I think that people's perceptions of what's bright and what's extraordinary are different so I won't get into that debate. Practical advice now:

there is a little boy in my friend group who's just turned 3, has been reading and adding up for a year now (he just taught himself, it just happened, it's like he can't help it? if that makes sense).

His parents have focused on social experiences and play like many others have advised.

Other than that he has an abacus at home and a pocket calculator that he takes everywhere so he can "play" with numbers anywhere. Also as he can read there are many opportunities in any outing, for example reading up on local wildlife after a visit to nature reserve (free).

HTH

[unlucky83]

Sorry...but IME he needs to learn how to entertain himself - how to be bored...it isn't a bad thing (I'd call it a life skill!)
My DD1(now 13) at FT nursery from 3 months and every evening/weekend I took her out/entertained her, no TV, no computer games etc. She was never bored, never on her own, never learned to entertain herself. She is bright (and probably has other issues too) but has been incredible hard work...constantly needing attention...struggles at school with things she finds boring (and now is a tv/computer addict )
DD2 -6 yrs younger- I was a SAHM and she was 'neglected' much more. Not just because I had to do things around the house etc but also because of DD1s constant attention seeking. She is just as bright but can happily play on her own. She will play with her toys but also with no direction from me eg decide to make puppets out of the inside of toilet rolls etc...and was doing things like that from a really early age.
What happen if you ignore him when he is bored? Stop trying to fill his every waking second with something he finds interesting?

[Fav]

If he's 3 will he not be eligible for 15 hours free preschooling?

[storm4mozza]

Thanx guys for all the helpful advice :) we took them to the shops and brought some things for gardening when the weather brightens up and now he is asleep, was going to go library in afternoon as was suggested to go out twice a day by another poster we will be checking on how the weather goes before we decide.

@Fav he is entitled to nursery from Feb 14 but there are no spaces

@MissYamabuki thanx I feel im told one thing by health visitor and another by others, i get so confused my mom always lets him play with the calculator and my dad has brought him a giant one he likes to take around with him =)

@Deverethemuzzler unfortunatley i am sure that the kids we have met up with were definatley 3, maybe i need to just keep looking and trying to get him to speak to more of a variety of kids.

@SolomanDaisy i wish we could move but we are stuck here until we can afford to go privately (which we cannot right now or in the near future because of the deposit) and the council are refusing to move us until son is 10, tried exchanging have yet to find anyone interested.

Thankyou so much guys i feel much better with all the support ill take all your advice on board =)

[Artandco]

Excellent . Remember twice a day going out doesn't have to be places all the time. Even a walk to buy some milk with eldest walking and youngest waking on reins will take at least 30 mins time even if 5 mins adult time. By the time they take 10 mins there looking for worms, ages finding milk, letting them help pay, wander back slightly different route. Plus 15 mins for them to find shoes/ coat/ take off on return is almost an hour past just going to get milk if you want to pass time. Any detours via longer roads/ park etc add more time outside easily.

Does he like baking? Mine likes as can read scales so measure stuff, count spoons of stuff in, so basically make alone with just little guidance and help with oven. He then gets stool and I let him fill sink with loads soppy water and he washes up the plastic bits he used ( rest in dishwasher). So that easily passes an hour all together. Even 18 month old can stand at sink.
Sometime put just toy boats and bubbles in kitchen sink and they can play with them whilst I cook dinner

[ShoeWhore]

Ds3 used to keep himself entertained for ages with a plastic tray and a variety of plastic cups/teapots/bowls - I would fill one little teapot with water and he would sit at the table and pour it back and forth. Because there isn't too much water it doesn't make too much mess.

You can do a similar thing with dried lentils or bits of dried pasta/rice (assuming he doesn't still put things in his mouth)

Actually in a similar vein, on a particularly fractious stuck indoors kind of afternoon there are worse things you can do than run them a bath and plonk them both in. Seems to calm them down and they will have a whale of a time playing.

[oobedobe]

I agree that water play will keep most DC happy for a good hour. Get a washing up bowl and put it on a low table with towels all around, they can play car wash or with dolls or boats. Also good old playdoh is liked by most kids, you will have to mostly do it with them though at this age

Maybe try buying (second hand) some older kids toys - my 20 month old loves Playmobil (which we have because of DD1) I just take the tiny bits away and keep an eye on her when playing. Today she has spent a good hour with the playmobil swimming pool.

However DD1 who is 5 was only entertained by it for 5 mins, so it does depend on the DC - my eldest has never been that into toys so I always took her out twice a day either errands or class in the morning, then home for lunch/quiet time/nap then a park/playground trip in the afternoon. I would have gone crazy trying to entertain her at home all day.

Some other games you could do with the elder one are games with Dice (these can involve maths/counting), just google it there are loads of ideas on the web. Or teach him to play Uno/snakes and ladders, card games etc or find some more challenging puzzles. Things he can do a a table so your dd can't mess them up.

Put a dressing up box together with clothes from a old clothes or a jumble sale, lots of glasses, hats, scarves, bags, shoes.

Also rotate toys, I always have a stash that have been away for a while and will occupy them better when I bring them out after a month or two.

Some days are going to be harder than others but try and have a plan if you can.

[oobedobe]

I completely agree with the advice to let him be bored aswell. My DD1 is very attention seeking, though I did try to train her when pregnant with my second to make her own entertainment. It doesn't always come naturally to her but she has a great imagination and left to her own devices will invent a game or get immersed with toys (not everyday though), she would always rather play with people or be entertained by TV.

I think it is fair for you to provide the structure of the day, but within that there is 'free play' time, so say the morning activity is baking then after that is done it is reasonable for him to play on his own for say 45 mins. Then maybe after he is finished free play he can have 30 mins of cartoons? That way the morning is filled, but not all by you.

[CharlesRyder]

So, has he just recently turned 3 and so his 15hrs only kick in in Sept?

The key with my DS (4 in August) is to keep him tired. He goes to pre-school 8.30 - 3.15, and has since he turned 3, and that is just about enough to keep him entertained.

In the holidays he has to have a long outing every day, whatever the weather. However, it is usually in the woods or by the river- not an attraction.

[poocatcherchampion]

lovely ideas for entertainment on this thread. I agree it is not challenge you want.

my dd is 2 and a bit and particularly good with language, role play and fine motor skills. we are spending our energies on giving her opportunities for gross motor skills rather than pushing her further with the stuff that comes naturally.

I feel for you living in cramped accommodation though op. it must be very hard.