views on "tiger mother"method

[JokersGiggle]

What are peoples views on the "tiger mother" method of parenting.
Thought I'd start up a discussion............

[wetnoodle]

Cory, I was pleasantly surprised when I read the book. I was expecting "The Batshit Crazy Guide to Parenting" and was planning on hate reading it. I wonder of all the people who are so negative about it actually read it?

My DS is only 3 so we're just starting out but for me the most important thing is instilling a desire to want to work hard in order to feel a sense of achievement/accomplishment.

I want him to know that life will present many opportunities and there so many ways to define successes but if he thinks it'll just happen because he's smart or charismatic or whatever he's going to be disappointed.

[MiaWallace]

Sorry

Mindset

[MiaWallace]

I highly recommend this book

www.amazon.co.uk/Mindset-How-Fulfil-Your-Potential/dp/1780332009?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It changed my way of parenting. I'm no longer a tiger mom and my dd is pushing herself without my nagging.

[cory]

I am glad that wetnoodle has read the same book as me: I was getting a bit confused as everybody else seems to have read this as some kind of handbook in how to be a tyrannical parent.

It is humourous, it is self deprecating, it is totally honest about the fact that everything she has been doing doesn't work.

I don't agree with what she was trying to achieve, I want to give something slightly different to my children. Yes, I want them to work hard and push themselves, but I don't want them to rate success only in terms of coming first or winning over others. I want them to know that a good job is worth doing for its own sake even if somebody else does an even better job or gets more recognition. There are plenty of walks of life where you don't do a better job by upstaging other people and focusing solely on your own performance. I want more openness towards other people from my dc, more interest in other people, more generosity.

But I like Amy Chua's honesty and humour.

[wetnoodle]

I've actually signed DS (3) up for suzuki method violin.

I do really think the ideas of high expectations and hard work are important. It's in-line with the talent vs practice myth.

[JokersGiggle]

Totally agree! Found the statistics in the book very interesting too

[wetnoodle]

I just read the book and loved it. Thought it was humorous and self-deprecating as well as insightful. My big takeout re: the method is that the key is moderation.

Expect the best from your kids, push them so they understand hard work and success go hand in hand BUT be aware that there will be times when you may need to back off and let them figure it out for themselves or even fail