How does your 4yr old help round the house?

[thegraduand]

I'm getting frustrated that DD (just turned 4) relies on me to do everything, even things I know she can do like getting shoes on. However talking to her about it this morning, it seems she gets frustrated that I don't let her do things to help that she wants to do. At nursery she is "special helper" on certain days and gets to help serve food and clear away. I want to try and develop a list of chores that she can "own" and maybe linked to small rewards if she keeps doing them. My list so far is:

• put clothes in the washing basket
  
• dress self
  
• plate in the dishwasher after meals
  
• get cutlery out for everyone for dinner.
  
  Can anyone thing of one or two others?

[IllGetOverIt]

Robot-I was correct the first time.

Independence is different to chores. Our eldest puts his dirty laundry in the wash basket, shoes on the shoe rack, coat on the coat stand, toys in the right boxes away, dishes in the kitchen etc basic independence.

What I mean, and what didn't come across probably v well is that independence should be a natural progression of learning. If our dc doesn't tidy his toys in his bedroom before going to school I won't do it for him, neither will he get told off for not doing it. But he has to do it before bed.

He's taught that (in out house) a little independence is essential as I'm not prepared to clear up every single thing after very person. Or is be chasing my tail all day.

You want it-if plausible you get it.
You finished-you tidy up

But all at a child's pace. They have the rest of their lives to be I dependant and clearing up and helping out. Let them enjoy being young. Respectfully.

That's the difference between chores and indendence.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

my DC do nowt. They are 3 and 7. They are lazy

[SummerRainIsADistantMemory]

Ds2 is fascinated with helping me so asks to do lots like help unload the dishwasher and help with cleaning. He loves sweeping too and often takes it upon himself to sweep the living room, he even gets the dustpan and brush and bins it.

On the flip side of that ive only just managed to get him to even attempt to dress himself and his room is a disaster zone as he pulls every toy out daily!

My older two ate useless, they set the table but any other jobs require much hours of coercing, bribing and shouting so it's usually easier not to bother and do it myself, ds1 does have SN though... Dd has no excuse!

[RobotHamster]

IllGetOverIt

Fair enough - your other post said "Erm nothing. You're their mother" and I've seen a fair few of these threads where people come on and are totally shocked that any parent would expect their child to do anything.

I think those people are the makings of future "My MIL is controlling and goes through my DH's clothes and rewashes them all"



totally agree with your post. Natural progression of learning is a good way to put it - gradually adding more responsibility for your own possessions and needs.

[SquidgyMummy]

DS is 2.4, he loves "chores".
If he hears me saying we are going out, he goes and gets his shoes and puts them on.
Ditto the laundry, he drops what he is doing and runs to the machine.
He loves wiping surfaces and has even been known to pull up a chair and do the washing up.
Obviously none of these things are done perfectly, and i need to redo but he finds it fun and I'm hoping that i won't have a teenage boy i have to nag too much in a decade's time.

[FreakoidOrganisoid]

I should add that mine don't do these things while i sit with my feet up and a cuppa They clear the table while i wash up, I'll clear the surface and they dust...
Some of the things (eg starting the bath and turning on the washing machine) they've only started doing because they've wanted to.

Others like wiping the table and sweeping the floor I've made them do even though they don't enjoy it. Im not the one who drops food everywhere and I think it is important that they realise that a lot of what I have to do isn't fun. They don't do it everytime but probably 50% of the time between them