My 9 yo dd has been coming home complaining about two girls in her class. She has had poor speech, but whilst much better now, it still isn't perfect, especially when she's excited or stressed. I also suspect she may have aspergers, but never quite fits the profiles I've read about, and the school has never mentioned anything apart from her speech.
These two girls have, according to her, been mocking her, told her she's weird and not cool, says the things she likes are babyish ( they're not, but the one girl does have stuff which i dont want my dd to have yet. ie high heels, bras etc . They've told her she's irritating and annoying, and to go away.
The problem is, it's a small school - less than 10 kids in their year, and these girls have been playing with my dd's best friend, so my dd is feeling very isolated.
Without wanting to emphasise her 'quirkiness', I want to make sure we try and control as many of the common things kids will pick on, eg, hygiene, manners etc, so any ideas of what else to subtly target?
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Trying to sort out the 'little things' that could attract bullying
Sluginthejam · 13/01/2013 10:49
Yes 
I think the OP needs some confidence in her daughter, and in sticking to this standpoint. It's very hard to cave under pressure and think it's your own child's fault.
It took me ages to realise that I was all they had - I used to joke about ds1, when he was a baby and always apologise on his behalf, in hindsight it was awful, who ever stood up for him? I don't mean like the woman someone described, always having a go at him - but just joking and so on. 'Oh he always does that' etc.
We are all they have. If we won't stand up for them who will.
Fwiw I was a fairly odd child. My parents didn't say much - my mother agreed I was odd, my sister certainly told me they were right to pick on me.
I grew up believing I'm odd and will never be acceptable - very damaged, and I find making friends very very hard indeed. I'm always scared of them realising what I am really like, ie not acceptable, somehow, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Only years later did I find that people who knew me at school, friends, colleagues and so on actually thought I was really cool - different in some ways but in a good way. I still can't believe them because the damage is done.
You need to be there right with her, believe in her, be the person at her side, watching her back, loving her. She sounds gorgeous.
and all the things I tried desperately to change about myself when I was young? Now I look back and I cry because those things were great.
I wonder if somehow, not meant to upset you but her self esteem is pretty low because she senses your doubts over her acceptability? I know how you feel, really I do. But you need to get past it in order to help her.
the worst thing possible for attracting a bully is low self esteem and we get that from the people closest to us x
Rooney, I was so scared to tell dd she had Aspergers. I had to have counselling to get my head around it.
When I told her she was relieved, she finally knew why she had always felt different. I will never forget it, her first words were "Oh my god, I have a syndrome" 
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