Refusing dinner should I offer an alternative

[Cupcakemummy85]

My dd is 18 months and has been fussy for a while now. Normally she is a lover of soup but tonight she flat out refused and won't eat it or the pitta fingers and cheese I put out to go with the soup. I'm so sick of this behaviour I'm exhausted. Do I offer her an alternative ie raisins, cereal, few baby crisps? She hasn't had much today. If I wasn't heavily pregnant I would flop on the bed face down!!

[blueshoes]

Children will eat what they need but spread out over a week. So some days they eat less and others they eat more. But overall it should even out. I would not stress. I offer simple alternatives if my dcs won't eat their normal meal at that age.

My dd started to grow out of fussiness at 5. At 9, she is now much better than ds 6, who is also better but still fussy. Food is not much of an issue in our house. We just give what they want to eat and take away when they don't.

[seaweed74]

Hi. Just wanted to say that my dd1 is on Movicol too and when she's constipated she goes off food first and then fluids too. Other people have told me that when someone is constipated they not only struggle to eat and drink but also feel bit under the weather.

[Cupcakemummy85]

She ate most of her dinner it was in front of the tv but right now I'm not too fussed about that I just need her to eat something nutritious. She also drank most of the apple juice so hopefully we r getting back to normal soon (whatever that is lol)

[cakesonatrain]

As long as she's eating and drinking a bit I'm sure she'll be.fine.
I get terribly stressed when DS won't eat what I give him. I have to force myself to not get all het up!

[Goldmandra]

She's drinking now so as long as her nappies are getting wet you have nothing to worry about.

You can be a mum who lets her child decide how much she eats. Don't think of her food refusal as stubbornness. It is more likely to be a bit of anxiety. If she feels pressure to eat and it is stressful she will lose her appetite like we would if we were stressed.

Just remember that every time you try to encourage her to eat you are making it harder for her.

This isn't about winning a battle. You will NEVER do that. It's about relinquishing control and trusting her to eat what her body needs. It will happen if you let it happen.

Just keep offering food and drinks and allow her to choose whether to take it. She will be fine.

[Cupcakemummy85]

She has had all her milk last night and this morning and a bit of apple juice so we r doing well so far. That's the best I could hope for for now. She has had a bit of toast and strawberries for lunch, not great but I'm trying to see the positive in it and not make myself ill with worry like yesterday. The more she sees I'm stressed about her eating it drinking the more she resists. She is being really stubborn this week an me trying to get her to drink is just bringing out the stubbornness in her. I will try perhaps milk and ice lollies this afternoon. Despite her lack of food she is sleeping ok.(touch wood)
Tried ice cream a minute ago and he didnt want it. Wierd! I would never turn ice cream down lol. Hopefully my encouraging her to drink and eat hasn't given her a complex about it. Just another thing to feel worried and guilty about. Why can't I just b one of those mothers who lets their kids get on with it and of they don't eat that's their problem.

[matana]

The not drinking is more worrying than not eating. Have you tried icecream? It sounds strange but was suggested to me as a way of keeping my DS hydrated when he had tonsillitis and couldnt eat or drink. It also gets some calories into them for energy to fight off any illness. Your dd's molars might be coming through.

[TheFallenNinja]

She'll eat when she's hungry.

[cakesonatrain]

How is your DD today, op?

[Goldmandra]

Unless the two ice lollies are a really decent size that isn't much fluid for a child to have in one day. Just to clarify it - she isn't drinking anything else, even milk and her nappy has been dry all day?

If that is the case IMO she needs to be seen by a medical professional. I am not medically qualified in any way BTW.

[Cupcakemummy85]

Yes he did the usual kind of look but very rushed he found nothing. He said give her more of the movicol laxative and b inventive with the food to get fluid in her but shes not eating and will only eat food that doesnt have much liquid! tbh I don't think he listened to me at all. Seems to b the theme of the day. I'm so frustrated and I bet dd is picking up on that too, seeing how much I want her to drink is clearly making her rebel!

[mathsconundrum]

Did gp check ears and throat?

[Cupcakemummy85]

Wow I feel like a crap mother right now. Apparently I'm over reacting big time! I will call nhs direct in secret and see what they say. Last thing I want is for my dd to have to go on a drip or something.

[Cupcakemummy85]

She seems fine in herself playing happily and laughing but is refusing to drink anything and refuses to eat, only wants few crisps. I'm getting worried and my dh and mil are down stairs ganging up one saying I'm being ridiculous! They think it's an achievement if she eats but it's the drinking I need her to do. I'm going to go into early labour with all this stress.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Agree you need to call NHS direct or just take her to a&e.

[cakesonatrain]

Call NHS direct. You'll get to speak to someone who knows a lot more than we do.
Sounds like she needs some fluids pretty soon. How is she?

[Cupcakemummy85]

I'm getting really ill with stress, my dh isn't listening to me and says its my hormones or I'm hack g nervous break down. Her nappy isn't wet and she has only had two ice lollies. We tried giving her squash in a syringe, but that's not enough. What do I do? She seems fine in herself. It's too late to call the doctors. Tbh I feel I'm on the verge of a panic attack. This can't b good for the baby either. Sorry all I'm just in panic mode I don't know what to do or who to talk to.

[Jakeyblueblue]

Sounds like your little one is unwell or at least sickening for something and that's a different matter entirely but on the subject of normal toddler refusal of food, ds is 18 months and had just started to refuse most things given to him. I think it's because he has learnt he can say no and thinks its a good game. What I've started doing is putting it in front of him and invariably he says no or turns his head, but i dip my finger in whatever it is or break a tiny bit off and try to get it in his mouth despite his protests, Just enough to let him taste its nice, then he seems to give up and eat it all. I'm not saying force feed your toddler but I do honestly think ds just does it because he can and is actually hungry and just needs reminding its nice!!
If he still doesn't eat it then fine, I don't offer an alternative and will make sure he has some supper instead.

[Goldmandra]

Of course it matters if she isn't drinking!

How much has she drunk in the last 24 hours?

You need to take her to A&E or back to the GP if she still hasn't had any drinks today.

Eating doesn't matter but drinking does.

[Cupcakemummy85]

Go checked her and said it was constipation and I have to up her movicol as she had a major explosion. I don't understand doctors and they clearly don't understand me. It seems dh and gp both were against me today. Dd still isn't drinking or eating and apparently it doesn't matter. What does it take for people to b worried, for her to b so dehydrated she ends up on a drip? I feel like I'm going mad!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Agree get her to the GP and make sure they check her ears and throat. Hope she feels better soon.

[Goldmandra]

If she's not drinking or weeing you need to take her to the GP straight away.

[nomoreminibreaks]

Haven't read the whole thread so I imagine I'll be repeating what others have said...

DS has been doing this for ages and it gets DH and I so frustrated. The best thing we've found so far is to feed DS the same as we eat and sit down together to eat it. It has meant changing our meal times but is worth it when he actually eats a reasonable amount.

Also I try to limit snacks to earlier on the afternoon. That seems to help a lot rather than him snacking on rice cakes etc an hour before.

[Cupcakemummy85]

She is asleep now, I wonder if its time to all someone, it's getting a little worrying now as there was nothing in her nappy from morning to lunch time.

[noblegiraffe]

Check her throat, it might be sore.