Tea or no tea, that is the question?

[Radley]

After having nothing but lip, crying, screaming, picking up her sister, tripping her up etc and telling me she hates me and she wishes I wasn't her mummy, I have bit my lip and managed to send dd1 (6) to bed without smacking her.

Thing is, she is now going to have no tea, what would you do?

Take some tea up for her (it's only a sandwich as she had a cooked meal) and give her 15 minutes to eat it and then go up, OR, give her nothing at all.

I know dh and I will argue when he gets out of the bath as he will say that it is too early to send her to bed. I've just had enough.

[Radley]

Thank you all very much for your advise, can't believe she is nearly 7 and I am having to ask for advice.

She has just gone to bed now much happier, ate all her sandwich and asked for another and THEN asked for another yoghurt.

[Enid]

I bet she's tired

dd1 (6) is knackered (end of term syndrome)

[beansprout]

Radley - glad things seem to be ok.

[mears]

Let us know what happens. Good luck

[Radley]

I've done what you have advised Mears, she says that she doesn't know why she has been naughty, but she has apologised and given a hug to dh, myself and dd2, and is sat quietly eating her tea.

At the minute, all is good at the radley household.

[Radley]

ok, thanks for your advice

[mears]

I would have a chat with her and see if she will tell you why she has been naughty. Also get an apology. If she behaves then let her stay. Warn her that bad behavious will mean straight back to bed. She knows you mean it.

I haVE OFTEN HAD DISCUSSIONS WITH MY KIDS THAT HAVE RESULTED IN THEM SOBBING SAYING THEY DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WERE NAUGHTY BUT APOLOGISED FOR IT.

Sorry, caps got hit accidentally. Sometimes I think they just find themselves on a downward spiral of behaviour that they don't understand themselves. I would give her a chance to be good again.

[Radley]

i'm going to make her tea in 5 minutes and then ask her to come downstairs.

Would you send her back to bed afterwards?

[mears]

I agree with bring her down for tea too. I have to say that I admire the fact you didn't smack her. I am afraid I would have (remember my youngest is 12 years and thoughts have changed a lot!!).

The only thing about smacking was it was over and done with much quicker and behaviour usually improved immediately . Keep up the good work though avoiding that inappropriate behavious

[tortoiseshell]

Definitely agree with enid - go up, if she apologises then she can come downstairs and have tea, if not, she can stay in her bedroom.

[Radley]

Yes enid, tbh i was wondering whether I would go upstairs to find yoghurt all over the walls and ham behind the radiator, especially in the delightful mood she has been in today.

[Aero]

Agree with enid

[Enid]

my dd1 would see that as a super treat

in her bedroom too

I would make her come down and eat it properly, no hard feelings

[Enid]

leave her for 20 mins then go and get her and give her a chance to apologise and come down for tea?

[Radley]

I have given her chance after chance after chance today and she spoils it within 10 minutes.

In about half hour I'll take her a ham and cucumber sandwich (with the crusts cut off), a glass of milk, yogurt and a couple of biscuits.

[mears]

Can you not let her up for tea if she promises to behave? Will the fact that she has been put to bed for a couple of hours be punishment enough for a 6 year old?

If she is allowed up and behaves, then you will be able to reward the good behaviour and then both you and she will go to bed in a good mood, rather than start off to possibly a bad day tomorrow.

[beansprout]

Give her the sandwich. She needs to eat no matter how she has behaved. Sorry you have had such a difficult day.

[Feistybird]

I would never send my kids to bed at this time (much as I'd like to sometimes)as they would be up at 5!! I would feed her definitely, going without a meal should'nt be a punishment unless they're buggering about at mealtimes.

You have my sympathy.

[ladymuck]

I'd give her the sandwich...