Gina Fords 'potty training in one week' - is it ever really that easy???!

[mumsgonemad123]

so i read Gina Fords little book from cover to cover, decided that my twin boys, aged 2 years 5 months were definately ready according to her criteria, and decided that Christmas time would a good time to start as no tots groups for nearly three weeks, nothing much planned, all shopping done, family all live very local and hubby off work, an ideal time to be at home and really concentrate on it. Was hoping that by Christmas day we could be over the hump so to speak.

End of day one today and i am completely frazzled and really not looking forward to tommoro!! one of the boys managed one wee in the potty all day and the other boy managed nothing. My boys are VERY lively at home and kind of feed off each others energy, running and bouncing around and that is the main problem, just cant get them to be calm enough to sit on their pottys. Its frustrating cos i know they are ready, they are very verbal and talk in complete sentences, very capable of understanding instructions etc, old enough now to have some bladder control, etc, etc, but they are livewires and just wild at times to be honest, i talk to them and they just dont listen, completely shut off from what i am saying usually cos they are interacting with each other.

I would really appreciate any advice, success stories, moral support, any input really. Am i being unrealistic to expect any success on the first day? anybody think Gina Fords method is flawed? Should i be waiting till they are closer to 3 years old? help please!!!

[mumsgonemad123]

OP here again....Yes i have also heard of quite a few people who have had real trouble with very stubborn and willful 3 year olds. And 'blast', i do think the vast majority of mums of 3 year olds who are still in nappies must feel at least some degree of social pressure and urgency regarding the situation. Even if they dont admit to it! My sister is a nursery/foundation assistant at our local school and apparently as little as 10 years ago most preschools would not take children at 3 untill they were out of nappies. Obviously that has changed now and so it should have, but it does show that leaving it late is a relatively new thing.

BTW just want to repeat that my boys are 2 years 5 months so i dont believe i am doing it THAT early. And really it has been no great hardship so far, a few pairs of wet trousers per day, one or two puddles on the carpet, no big deal, very little stress, and a big sense of acheivement for both me and the little man when he has a success he is beaming and very pleased with himself. He is fairly consistantly going 90 minutes to 2 hours between wees, then when he does wee its a really big one!! Been to a tots group today this afternoon which i was very apprehensive about but took the potty with me, he stayed dry in the car, got there and he weed on his potty, got home and he weed on his potty again. No accident! I think further proof that he IS ready, so there!!! lol :)

[Llareggub]

It all sounds very stressful, carting potties around. I waited (as I said earlier) it never had to deal with soiled pants, spare clothes etc. I guess it all depends upon parenting styles. I carried on breastfeeding until my DS self-weaned at nearly 3 too. I take the easy road.

[BlastOff]

OP - Lots of us gave our advice based on our own experiences. No-one said you must wait until 3, but just that waiting until they appear ready may be less stressful. Trying to help you, not critise you.

FWIW, my ds1 was 2.10 (or 2.9 - can't remember exactly) not 3. He was dry within 24 hours. 3 accidents within that 24 hours. Surely that sounds less stressful?

Anyway, I gave my experience and advice in good faith, not to be told 'so there' to I'm not at school anymore If you just wanted support you should have been explicit. You sounded stressed. I, and others, were trying to help.

And I have no idea why someone would want to judge another mum for waiting until their child is ready, even if the child is 3.

And to the person who said their clothes look better without a nappy??? Are you for real? They are 2-3 years old. That may well be the most bizarre thing I've ever read on MN.

[notasausage]

We did potty training last Christmas when dd was 2.1 and it took about 3 days of pain before it just clicked. We managed a 5 hour car journey a week later and very few accidents until return to nursery after Christmas.

[bonkersLFDT20]

Blast I think it was me who said they look nicer. This was in your response to wondering what the issue is with waiting until they are over 3. I said social pressure and added that they look nicer. I stand by this point. I think it really does look nicer to see a 3 year old in underwear rather than a bulky nappy.
Am I really the only one to think that? Is that really the most bizarre thing you've read on MN?!

[Ragwort]

I agree with you bonkers - and I will add that I also think babies over the age of one drinking from a bottle looks odd too. (SN excepted of course).

[Ragwort]

PS: I never once carried a potty around me, DS learned to use the toilet from Day 1 - he was about 2 years 4 months I think (long time ago now).

[brettgirl2]

Those of you who never carried potties did you never go anywhere without easy access to toilets??? Bizarre! Why is carrying a potty worse than a changing bag anyway? I always carry a spare set of clothes as all sorts can happen to the clothes of a 2 year old.

I suppose there is always a hedge but that to a very young child to me teaches them it is OK to go anywhere.

The three thing just comes from people saying it is easier at 3 (many whom have short term memories). One of my neighbours was on about how easy her son was at 3 (ie I was mad potty training earlier) but I distinctly remember him shitting his pants when they were outside playing!

[seeker]

We never even had a potty, never mind carry one around! For the first few days you might have to plan your route a bit!

And I am a bit puzzled about the hedge thing. Are you saying that it's ok to get out the potty, get your child to pee in it then pour it into a hedge, then wipe out the potty with a baby wipe or something then put it back in your bag, but not all right for a tiny child to pee directly into the hedge concerned?

[PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo]

With 3 dc, we kept a potty in the car boot for years, but I don't recall any of them ever using it. The only time I ever carried a potty in the buggy was in the first few days of training, but, again, I don't think any of mine ever used it. TBH, the only one of mine who trained on a potty was dc1, and that was because there was a gorgeous handmade carpet in the hall that the bathroom led off from - a relic from pre-dc days. I still have it, but it's looking decidedly threadbare these days!

[brettgirl2]

Seeker obviously going in a hedge is fine but I think I was concerned that if I allowed it then dd would think it was OK to go in the garden, shower etc. It may be just me thinking too much but I know my SIL had a few probs like that with her son. As a result at the start I took potty out if we were going for a walk or to playground or something.

[seeker]

What do you do with the used potty?

And - hang on- he's not allowed to pee in the shower???????

[brettgirl2]

I think in the mind of a 2 year old using a potty regardless of where it goes after is more consistent. Weeing in the shower isnt normal in polite society where I come from. Dd knows that she should use the potty/ toilet, sorry but I think that's normal!!!!!

[seeker]

Ah. I'm more relaxed about discreet al fresco peeing! What do you do with the potty once it's been used?

The shower thing is new to me, though. How do you know whether people do or don't?

[mrspepperpotty]

To all those of you who talk about carrying a potty around, try a portable potty which folds up and fits easily into the changing bag.

Sorry OP but your 'so there' did sound a bit childish. People are just trying to help you.

But blastoff I don't think it's that strange to say they look nicer in pants. Although it's not a good enough reason to train a child who isn't ready.

Not only are all children different, but also all parents are different, eg how much they dislike changing nappies v clearing up accidents. I HATE changing nappies so I potty trained early - but I accept this probably meant it took longer than if I'd waited till nearer 3. Not sure what I will do with DS2 aged 26m - he doesn't seem ready yet, but I don't want to leave it too long!

[seeker]

What do you do with the used potty?

[brettgirl2]

Its just too complicated for me Seeker. If its OK to wee directly into a hedge/ shower is it also OK to:

1. Poo in the hedge/ shower
   
2. Wee in the garden
   
3. Poo in the garden
   
4. Wee in the bath
   
5. Wee in the swimming pool
   
6. Wee in the shower at the swimming pool
   
7. Wee in the drain groove in the swimming pool changing room?
   

When you go to the toilet at the seaside it may end up in the sea but I wouldnt have a wee in the sea myself.

FWIW DD did number 7 and announced it loudly in a busy changing room with DH. I am sure you would argue however relaxed you are about 'alfresco' peeing that number 7 on the list is not acceptable!!! I think it is just easier to tell a toddler consistently that they do wees and poos in a potty or toilet. They are just not old enough to understand the subtleties between different locations.

[seeker]

Well of course you don't pee anywhere where youbmight upset or offend anyone or where it would be unhygienic. And poo is obviously different. But sureely it's ok tonpee in the sea? And the shower thing really baffles me- I really can't see a problem with that!

Whwtevr do you do with th used potty?

[Llareggub]

My boys are incapable of getting into the bath without having their daily wee contest. The rules are getting quite complex. I just choose my battles, a bit of wee in their own bath isn't going to kill anyone, in fact, don't some people drink their urine?

[mrspepperpotty]

Seeker, a portable potty comes with lots of plastic sacks (like nappy bags) which fit over the edges of the potty. They sit on the potty, do a wee or poo into the bag, then you take the bag off the potty, tie the top and throw away. Very handy when out and about - I would highly recommend.

[seeker]

So a plastic bag full of pee is preferable to the same amount of pee in a hedge or down a drain?

[mrspepperpotty]

Yes definitely! Weeing against a hedge or tree or similar risks some of it trickling down the pavement - not the end of the world maybe, but not very nice. And what if it's a poo?