Terror of other children screaming!

[Emma32]

I am desperate for some reassurance! My little boy, Charlie, has always been a good, easy baby and has never given any cause for concern - we're really lucky. He's 8 months old today. However, I am getting worried as today he cried uncontrollably when we visited a friend and her baby (six weeks older than Charlie and very advanced for his age) screamed at Charlie - obviously saying hello in a baby-like way. Charlie was ok with one scream, but not when this continued, on and off, during our visit. Of course, I know that screaming and crying is perfectly natural behaviour, but Charlie doesn't, and he seemed so shocked by it, even though he does it a lot himself!!! I'm worried that he will continue to hate being in the company of other children as all his contemporaries will soon be screeching (Charlie is the youngest of all his friends.) How can I help him? Do I reduce time with other children or force him to be social? I suppose the fear will disappear once he is as mobile and vocal as the others, but until then, argh! The amazing thing is, he loves the creche and the company of other adults! Help! Advice please!

[Chanelno5]

Emma32 - I really wouldn't worry about this, you're certainly not raising a sociopath! At 8 mths babies become more aware of their surroundings and the things going on in them. They also can get a bit uneasy when confronted with strange things. I think he was just taken by surprise by the other baby's screaming. It doesn't matter that he does it also, the one thing that you quickly learn about kids is that it's ok for them to do things but if anyone else does it, well .... sparks can fly sometimes. Also, when your son is making these noises he probably doesn't realise how noisy he is being so it can come as quite a shock when others do it - we all know how loud even the tiniest baby can be! Keep letting him mix with other children and his confidence will soon grow. Infact, before you know it he'll be running about screaming with the others, and then you'll be wishing he wouldn't!

[Emmam]

My little boy gets upset by loud noises - dogs barking, fireworks etc. He's quite jumpy. One of his friends went through a phase of shrieking and it used to really upset him. He also gets distressed by other kids pulling him around. He has got better as he got older (he's 2½ now), but if things really make him jump he gets very upset. That doesn't mean he doesn't like the company of other children, he went to pre-school for the first time this week and had a fantastic time - chatted away, joined in like he had been there months.

All you can do is give lots of reassurance that the loud noises aren't going to hurt him and he'll gain confidence.

[watty]

emmam-sounds very much like the situation I have..my boy is just under 2 1/2 and from about the age of 9 mths became very wary & upset of others the same age or younger..he too i think was upset by "shrieker" in our nct group who was also very forward..This does seem to have put him off other kids even though he meets up with others on a regular basis..He dislikes them getting to close to him and usually ends up in tears at some point..All in all we both find it upsetting and if honest I find it frustrating..recently he seems more interested in other little ones in an outdoor area like the park, he'll even try and engage in a game of footie so I suppose that's a start..If you have any update on your situation or if anyone else has any advice then please let me know, you'll be restoring my sanity...!!!

[emma32]

It seems ages since I wrote the message about Charlie. He is now a very noisy 14 month old!!! We went through the fear and separation anxiety before Christmas, but with lots of care and reassurance (it was really tiring and frustrating, but I kept with it and tried to be understanding, although my patience was short at times!) he is now quite confident and beetles off to play with friends, joining in with the screaming a lot of the time. I think he found it difficult, being younger than a lot of his friends - they were crawling, walking, squeaking before him - and he seemed a 'baby' when they were 'toddlers'. But now he's on his feet, he's very quick and always finding mischief. He's at nursery 3 days a week, when I'm working, and he thrives on it. So, the message seems to be - be patient, even when you are tired and at the end of your tether; give lots of love and reassurance; realise that IT WILL END; I tried to remember that, in twenty years time, when I'm desperate for him to telephone me, I shall recall the time when all he wanted was Mummy and her reassuring touch ....