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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

So exactly how long does separation anxiety last...

15 replies

eversoslightlytired · 09/09/2011 15:24

cos it been two weeks and it doing my head in.

DD has just turned six months and I seriously cannot even go to take a step away from her without hysterics. DS was up all night being sick so finding it very hard to take today!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Chundle · 09/09/2011 17:32

Dd2 is 24 months and hers has been horrendous since birth!

Original poster

eversoslightlytired · 09/09/2011 17:37

oh god!!!!

OP posts:

olivo · 09/09/2011 20:26

you don't want to hear that my 5 yo still suffers from it then ?

Tgger · 09/09/2011 20:36

It gets better at 2 and even better at 3, and even better at 5 and even better at 8. It depends on the kid like most things . Between 7 months and 18 was the worst bit for my DD.

purewater · 09/09/2011 21:51

my 9 month DS, who has been laid back since birth, doesn't seem to mind being away from me . He' seemingly just as happy to be with DH or childcarer.

Is there something wrong with attachment if he doesn't get worked up about being apart? He's very smiley and content and always excited to see me.

Tgger · 09/09/2011 21:57

No, not at all. Some kids are like this- he may stay like this or it may hit him later- I remember 15 months also being a really difficult age to leave DS- the separation anxiety thing seemed to go in waves for us- got over most of it by 2.5/3. Phew.

DirtyDawg · 10/09/2011 09:11

It's just started with 17 month old, CM has to distract him at dropping off time, while I make a swift but quiet exit.......

RitaMorgan · 10/09/2011 09:22

purewater - my ds went through a brief period of mild separation anxiety at about 9-10 months (literally about a fortnight) where he cried and clung to me when I picked him up from nursery, and cried if someone else held him while I was in the room (but was fine when I was out of sight). Other than that he is fine being with other people, skips into nursery aged 13 months without a backward glance and doesn't want to come home! I know it's hard not to take personally, but it doesn't necessarily mean a poor attachment, in fact it can indicate how secure they are.

If your baby rejected you when you came back that might be a worry, but not if he is excited to see you.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that it just hits a lot later with some children. 9-12months and 18months seem to be the typical ages.

Original poster

eversoslightlytired · 11/09/2011 20:30

Hi all, sorry have had 2 poorly children who passed their bugs on to us! I certainly did not want to hear that at 5 it is still going on!

She was so placid until 2 weeks ago and she really has turned into a whinge bag if I walk away from her. It is just so tiring!

OP posts:

Tgger · 11/09/2011 20:36

Just carry her around the whole time. I know it's tiring, but actually it helps them feel more secure and keep saying the mantra "this too will pass!" Put her in a sling or carrier when out and about or even round the house. They love those.

Original poster

eversoslightlytired · 11/09/2011 20:51

The problem with her is that she is a very big baby she is well over 20lb at 6 months and I have trouble with my back. So carrying her is actually quite painful. I have never had a sling but I might try one. At least then I might actually be able to do something. Does anyone have a recommendation for a sling?

OP posts:

DialMforMummy · 11/09/2011 21:09

I read somewhere that playing peekaboo helped separation anxiety. Not sure how though.

MockingbirdsNotForSale · 11/09/2011 22:35

It could be that she was feeling poorly without any other symptoms. My DD is nearly 11 months and since the beginning of Aug was very clingy. Turned out she was harbouring chicken pox. It was a nasty bout and she's only just out the other end and is happy to be with other, is back to enjoying exploring and is fine if I leave her.

milkyjo · 12/09/2011 17:08

DialMforMummy I think its because you can go round a corner to get something and then go peekaboo so your baby thinks its a game, when actually you are leaving the room. I do this when DS is in his highchair - fridge is in utility room and I go out of sight to get the milk/food for his meals.
eversoslightlytired I have a Kari-Me wrap style sling and I find this most comfortable to carry my 9.5kg 9 month old in. However, it is made from stretchy jersey material and you tie it in a special knot so it is safe, baby can go forward facing, facing towards you, on your hip or on your back (with help from someone). There are lots of styles available, have a search on internet. I got mine 2nd hand off Ebay and its machine washable.

Beaurevage · 12/09/2011 21:04

I second the Kari-Me. My DH and I tried the Baby Bijorn and found it to be very fiddely (sp?) as each person has to adjust the straps to fit their body, uncomfortable to sit down in and very jerky for baby when walking. We then bought a Kari-Me and both agree that it's much more comfy for us as well as DS. Also, my DH has a bad back and this sling never bothered him.

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