Immature 5 year old, am beginning to get very worried

[Lifeinlalaland]

My son is 5 1/2 and looks and acts more like a 4 1/2 year old in many respects. He is small for his age physically and his speech was late to develop. He was significantly behind in reading during reception although with a lot of extra support from the school and from me and his dad he has now caught up to average. He is very behind on his writing, can just about form his name and very short sentences, and getting him to write is really tough, he really does not enjoy it.

I am willing to continue to put in the extra effort to help him but it is in other areas that I am really beginning to notice the differences between him and other five year olds. He is such a sweet boy but he is also socially and emotionally so much less complex than other children his age. He doesn't seem to have any awareness of what others think of him, he will skip to school and shout out 'look mummy a doggie' much like a very small preschooler might, for example, and it's lovely, but the other kids in his year are sniggering at him. He has just begun to notice this, but it breaks my heart because as time has gone on it has become more and more apparant that the other children in his year have developed close friendships but he hasn't and it's because he is just not as socially complex as the other children.

He's just about to start year 1 and I am beginning to get so worried. I was at a friends house today and he had just met another five year old girl. She was lightyears ahead of him in speech and the way she interacted, after about 5 minutes of knowing her he said 'are you my best friend now?' and he was so lovely and smiley about it, but she just looked at him like he was a little kid.

At the end of term last year I had a discussion with his teacher and she said he was very immature for his age, but that we had to continue to keep pushing him to catch up with everything as she said the gap was only going to get wider between him and his peers. I know him to be a charming, sweet natured and innocent boy with a really kind heart, and he is developing and learning well, no behavioural problems. However it seems like he is just basically younger than the other five year olds in his class. I am getting more and more worried he is going to be labelled as 'dumb' by his peers (one or two comments already regarding his reading etc) and basically have that lovely spirit knocked out of him because he is a little different / not maturing as quickly as the other children.

To be frank I think he could do with about another 6 months with four year olds in reception and then he would be where the others are now but that I am told would do more harm than good. He is not delayed enough for it to be deemed really serious, but equally he is always just a little bit behind everyone else. I am worried how this is going to effect his confidence long term. He has said to me he can't do things like the other children in his class.

Phew, this is very long so apologies. I have been trying not to worry and just let him develop at his own pace as I think it is very unfair to lump a load of children in together and expect them all to reach certain targets by a certain time especially at this young age, but I am worrying this is going to become more and more of an issue as he slowly realises that he is not able to do the things the other children are doing and is becoming more and more excluded socially as he is not interacting on the other childrens 'level'.

Has anyone else had any experience of this? And sorry for the long vent!!!

Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated.

Thank you.

[aroundandaroundagain]

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[ladynixalot]

I'd love to hear an update @Lifeinlalaland - how things turned out and anything you learned as he sounds a lot like my sweet little boy who is struggling with his return to year 1.

[MuminUS]

Hi - I know it’s been several years but I came across this thread searching for advice on my own son and I feel this really describes how he is now. He’s not quite 4 and starting school in September and I am so worried as I think he’s really behind socially and emotionally and I just wondered how things had worked out for your son? Hopefully really well!!

[dancemum7]

Hi,
I know it’s been a while since this thread started, but I just wondered how things worked out for everyone? My DS1 has just turned 5 and has one week left in reception. He happy enough going in and out of school. He’s a kind, sensitive, but funny and a quietly confident child. But he is definitely behind in his some of his work and emotionally I feel as though he’s immature esp when it comes to friendships, and so has not made a ‘group’ of friends or any close friendships. I’m not sure he’s really bothered by this, but is aware that others do, and says I don’t play with X as he always plays with Y and Z for example. He has friends he grew up with, children of our friends who he is gets on and plays well with, and is extremely close to his cousins. All of which he play with after school 2/3 x a week. He does some hobbies out of school also. He plays so confidently and happily with others he knows well, and always makes friends with strangers in many situations. But there’s just something about school friendships that is just not clicking! It’s baffling me why?! Any suggestions? Or is it just a matter of letting things develop naturally with maturity? Xx

[Julzo17]

Hello not too sure were to start,my ds turned 5 end of january the rest of his wee classs mates are all a good few mths older,he is in p1 his yeacher has placed him on record of concern for the following...he is very immature for his age,and is unable to keep focusedon his work without adult assistance,he finds it extremely difficult to sit and concentrate for any lenghth of time,he has poor recall and recognition,he is in p1 has just turned 5 at the end of january je was in nursery while covid was at peak,i am not one for writting post so please excuse my post i just want to know if any other parents are facing simular problems i havent stopped crying x

[aaigogu]

Hey! Could you please confirm how is your son doing now? Please reply

[Nunya28]

Hello, I'm reading this is so many years later and my son is the same way. How is your son now? Did he catch up with peers?