18 Months....fussy eater and spits his food out.

[MMG]

untill he was 12months old he would eat anything then all of a sudden he starts refusing foods...at times now when possible i give him a choice of 2 things for lunch/dinner etc. I say which one do you want and he chooses one and most of the time he eats 3/4 of it but if i dont have the time to do that and i give him whats available if he dosnt really want it he eats a bit and then starts to spit it out which is annoying, should i ignore it and remove him from the table or should i do something else? I can gauarantee later he will go off to the cereal cupboard and pick up shreddies or weetabix and wants and eats that which is reasonable but i want him to have a varied diet..... any ideas!!!

Boy! if its not one thing its another :-)

[suzywong]

sympathies
my ds2 is a fussy eater, it's all about power, the more you let it wind you up the more power he will have over you. Ds2 is getting better but I did the letting him eat cereal, with a drink of fresh juice so the nutrients are absorbed efficiently, and he is growing out of it.

Yes take it away if he spits it out, take it away in a light breezy manner and don't let him see you curse. Good luck. He's still drinking milk isn't he?

[MMG]

yes he still has formula in the eve and cows milk during the day.....i do try and not to let it bother me but sometimes he wants to play with the food and when i take it away he has a tantrum which i try to ignore.....he can be so manipulative....does something different for me and something else for dad

[madmarchscare]

Yes, take it away.

Its also worth experimenting with how (knife and fork), where(at the table), when(with you) he eats his meals too.

DS (23 mos) also seems to be more interested in his food if he has helped to prepare it in some way.

[suzywong]

yes ds2 always eats from DH's dish at night, I think it's the chopsticks he likes. I try not to take it personally, and I think that is the key.

I give ds2 a multi vitamin sweetie every day too, just to be sure he's not going to get rickets or anything

[koalabear]

our 18 months old is doing this too - in fact, he throws his plate at the wall, throws his food at us, throws his fork and spoon the length of the table - he thinks it is highly amusing

all advice to date that we can find is

1. ignore it
   
2. don't show any reaction to it
   
3. when he throws it, just say "oh, so you finished then - ok" and take it away
   
   it seems to be working, but its a slow process

[MMG]

yes i must learn to ignore it....also i have noticed he is more intrested if he helps prep food etc. but sometimes there is not enough time or he is too grumpy and tired to help but i let him help when possible....sometimes he eats at his own little table/chair occasionally which works while he watches cbeebies, he does get bored easily but if he is very hungry he just eats then when he is full he messes about so thats when i take it all away clean him up and tell him to go and get his toys:-)

[koalabear]

yes, i've found that too
it is when he's had enough that he tends to muck around - just like a man!

[KiwiKate]

why not try giving him a bit less, in the hopes he'll finish all the food and there won't be any to mess with? Or feed him the messy food first (small portion) then give him something like cooked carrot sticks/pasta or other chunky food that he can pick up with his hands, but not get too messy with? Does he feed himself? Maybe he wants to be a bit more independant.

Definately remove it when he has had enough.

Remember that the messing with the food is not to annoy the hell out of you, it is part of the way the experiment with textures (although throwing it is a definate power play). If you don't have time to let him help prepare the food, then why not give him some to "play" with while you are preparing eg a raw carrot, a stick of celary, a bit of cheese - anything that it would be ok for him to snack on if he decided to have a chew. Give him a bowl of water with a whisk to "whisk" up.

What we did with our ds is for the evening meal when he is a bit restless, let him move around and play, on the condition that he would come to me for a "food toll"(not sure if your 12 mo can do this, but the 18mo would be able to). He knows he can play if he comes to me for a bite to eat whenever I say "food toll". (I call him when I see he has eaten what is in his mouth). If he does not come for a food toll then he is strapped into his high chair, with no exceptions. I was really concerned that he would develop bad habits, but tbh, it was easier for me not to fight over food. This way he eats really well. He is happy because he plays. I am happy because he eats. If we go out, he knows that the rules are different, and he sits in his chair and behaves very well.