Worried dad- 3 week old baby, no weight gain.

[AdamR]

Hello Everyone.
As a first post on here im sorry it has to be a 'help' but im hoping to be able to contribute more once we have her gaining weight.

Well, Chloe is now 3 weeks old.
when she was born she was 6lb 15oz, during the first week she lost 5oz which isnt all that bad especially since she had a tounge tie.

At 1 week old she had her tounge tie cut and between week 1 and 2 she put on her 5oz again (exclusivley on breast).

now at 3 weeks old she is still only 6lb 15oz.
she has around 3-5 really dirty nappies and same in wet ones.
She also feeds every 3-4 hours for about 40 minutes or so with a short gap for winding in the middle (again just on breast).
she also suffers from quite bad wind which is quite upseting for us at times.

Am i being ovely worried as she is my first baby. i thought she would have put on a few oz by now.
she seems a happy and content baby apart from the wind..

thanks for your help in advance.

Adam

[c00kiemonster]

Adam, my daughter is 4 weeks old and has also been breastfeeding ( I'm her dad btw). She dropped from 6lbs 5oz to 5lbs 11oz and four weeks later is only up to 7lbs 8oz. She's healthy though and the health visitors are happy with her. Breastfeeding is tough, tough, tough and my wife has been a total star - stuck with it through a lot of trials. We're also thinking of going to breastfeeding support classes for a bit of moral support. No way is bfing as straightforward or natural as people make out. To be honest you sound just like me - worried about everything and uncertain about everything. It's a total adventure.

[theDudesmummy]

Hi Adam, it's lovely that you are being so involved and supportive of your partner.

I just wanted to say that I was dead set on breast feeding only and was absolutely determined not to use formula (and was really scared that using formula would be the beginning of the end of breast feeding).

But I had huge problems getting enough milk into my little one from breast feeding only, had low milk supply despite doing everything right and even going onto medication to increase the supply (Domperidone). Baby was just not putting on weight at all, and he could not afford that as he was a tiny one to begin with (only 4lb). So I went onto mixed feeding, feeding him as much as I could from the breast but also using a high calorie milk (Infatrini) for formula feeds a couple of times a day.

It worked for us, and despite using formula as well I was able to continue breast feeding him to 15 months (and also despite going back to full time work at 3 months). So, if you guys have to go for the mixed feeding, it can still work if you manage it carefully.

[skybluepearl]

mine lost lots of weight and only gained it back at a month old. also found her own natural weight which was slightly lower on the percentile chart. now aged 2 my kid is very bright and still healthy. still small but perfectly formed.

[Momo36]

Have you tried Medela breast shields? My nipples just could not take breastfeeding and my little girl was born under and needed to feed every 2 hours day and night for the first 7 weeks. People told me not to use them but I stuck with it and they saved my breastfeeding. Let me add that I had used every help under the sun and still hurt so much. Anyway, I managed to feed with them for 7 moths and my girl put on weight beautifully. I found Medela ones really working for me as they are good quality. Good luck! PS. You can get milk supply back by doing some pumping as well - I did that and it worked.

[StefanieKevin]

weve had the same problem. our DS lost 10 percent after a weekthen he put a bit on but then has plateaud. mummy is feeding him every 2 hrs during the day and cluster feeding in the evening then every 3 to 4 hrs at night. we have tried everything but dont think baby can get enough from breast at the moment. my wife is trying everything to increase her qtys be expressing both hand and pump. feeding often. nipple shields and im feeding her lots with good levels of protein fats carbs etc. we are going to continue doing breast but have had to resort to a bit of a top up with formula tonight to help.
are we doing everything possible or can we do more. please can you give me your opinions and thoughts.
thanks
kev

[gourd]

Also wanted to say that I almost gave up BF-ing a few times in the early weeks, but I'm glad I didn't. The NCT advice got me through. Mastitis was something I avoided thank goodness but she may still be able to express enough to keep the supply up and continue bf-ing afterwards. I also thought I wasn't producing enough, but very very few women have real problems with that as long as baby is feeding frequently enough. It turned out that my baby cried whilst feeding due to stomach ache or wind, not because my breast was empty.

In the long run, happy parents equals a happy baby so Mum should do whatever she thinks will make her and baby happy. My previously formula-fed, but now 5 year old niece is the tallest (and brightest) child in her class at school and is a happy child who knows she is very much loved by her parents - and that's what counts!

[gourd]

I wanted to say that the more frequently you feed baby (not the amount, the frequency) the more milk Mummy will produce. The less frequently (i.e. if you feed with formula, which is effectively replacing a breast feed with a bottle filled with formula) the less milk she will produce. If Mummy wants to increase milk production she needs to feed and/or express more often, not less. Mixed feeding (using breast and formula milk) can work, but if you want to do that it's better to introduce it later on, once Mum's milk supply is well established. I'd suggest borrowing an electric breast pump from your local NHS PCT (ask your health visitor or baby clinic about that) if you haven't already. Electric pumps are much easier to use than manual and she'll probably be able to express a higher quantity of milk with an electric pump. Use the pump at every feed on one breast whilst baby feeds on other (the baby feeding on one will stimulate milk supply for expressing from the other). The more often you use the pump the more milk you'll be able to produce and collect/store.

I had bruised nipples to start with but it did get better. I used a borrowed electric pump on the most sore nipple, whilst feeding baby on the sightly better one till one nipple had healed, then swapped over till the other one had healed. My local NCT BF-ing advisor did come out to our house and was really helpful. The helpline was also very good. Different feeding positions can help. I found lying on my back made my breasts seem flatter, and not as round in shape as when I sat upright, which enabled my baby to get more of the breast in her mouth - she was lying on her tummy across my chest.

[BlackSwan]

Adam - mixed feeding is great if it works for your GF. You know what, even if she ends up entirely on formula, it's totally fine.

The breast is best message is a positive one, but it can be quite upsetting if breast feeding is nigh on impossible for whatever reason. We all want to give our babies the best possible start though we are unfair on ourselves when we take this to mean our babies are getting second best when breast feeding doesn't work out. Breast feeding supporters can be so vocal in saying exclusive breast feeding can work for everyone - it just doesn't. Formula fed babies thrive and are healthy happy little people too!

It's not the be all and end all. Why do you think you see shelves and shelves of formula at the chemist? Not because women can't be bothered to breast feed - but because for many, it's not workable.

[AdamR]

Well
I will give a quick update as i am at work (only place i have internet).

Amy is still BF but she just isnt producing enough for Chloe.
She will feed for around 1 hour and then have around 3oz of formula.
If we just feed her formula she will eat anywhere between 4-6oz in one go!

Its not great though as the GF now has mastitas (spelling) so shes rather unwell currently.

On other news Chloe has now put on just under 2lb in a week so is now 8lb 6oz! (fat girl!). she is more awake and is feeding rather too often (around every 90 minutes) so we are having to use BF and formula.

And last, im sorry i havent got back to the many PM's / offers for meeting up. We have been so busy with moving, trying to get the house sorted and the fact im now back at work.

I will try and do another update this evening :)

Adam

[Sars2]

I'm sorry you guys are having such a struggle with breast feeding. Circumstances can make it hard to produce sometimes and it can be difficult to know how much your baby is getting. I had a traumatic labour and as a result did not produce enough, I didn't know this and my little one lost 20% body weight as a result. He is on formula full time now but i went through a stage of feeling like an inadequate mother because everyone pushes for breast feeding and noone really lets you know what to do if you can't. My midwife suggested trying him on the breast and topping up with formula if need be but unfortunately my milk dried up totally. It is actually more common than you realise so please don't feel bad if you have to use formula - my little one is now 3 weeks old and putting on weight steadily now which is the most important thing and i'm fretting less and enjoying my time more with him since we made that decision :)

[pookamoo]

saggy is absolutely right of course!
Good luck with everything!

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

Adam. Although I do agree with Pookamoo, Miggs and everyone else have given some very good advice. What you now need to do is cherry pick the parts that sound useful. The thread could easily devolve into a 'you do this, no you don't you do it like this' bunfight, as BF is involved, but basically everyone gives the advice that worked for them so it is all useful. I hope that things are going better for your GF, Chloe and you, (and if not, Miggs' telephone numbers are very useful) and I have to say that you sound like a marvellously supportive partner. They are both very lucky. keep up the good work, and let us know how things are going. {{sneaky unmumsnet hug of support}}

[BabiesNeedInstructions]

I had terribly sore nipples in the first couple of weeks of feeding my Ds, to the extent that I was bleeding into his mouth when he fed. Whenever we winded him he would regurgitate my blood - bit of a shock the first time as you can imagine.... Nipple shields didn't work for me - we got through it by expressing (first by hand then with a pump later) on one side for a few days. Then when that side was healed we swapped over. It means a few more days of pain on one side but if you can get through it it will get easier. Ds is now 7 weeks and feeding like a trooper pain-free.

Completely agree BTW with others about feeding to keep up supply - there will be days when production lags slightly behind demand, especially during a growth spurt, but if you persevere it quickly catches up. It just means some long feeds in the meantime.

I was unprepared for how hard bf can be at the start. Whatever you both decide don't feel guilty if you've tried your best.

[pookamoo]

I think saggy will back me up on the nipple shields re. miggril's point about interfering with milk supply.
Sometimes, just being able to do it for a couple of days without the pain is just worth it. If you have the time to sit for hours with your baby feeding, she does get enough milk out in the end - especially if they are the soft shields like the Avent ones. I actually used them with my DD until she was 12 weeks, for every feed. She's absolutely fine, so was my milk production, so they can be perfectly ok.

Adam you asked about whether they help the baby's latch. I think opinions differ on this. It's easier for them to latch onto the shields, and even if their latch isn't great, it doesn't hurt in the same way as without the shields. I think sometimes the baby just needs to get a bit better and get the hang of the feeding and the latch comes in the end - the problem is that in the meantime, the mum's nipples get torn to shreds. In my experience (and I can only speak for myself) I found that eventually I got the hang of everything else like positioning, and one day we didn't need the shields at all.

I don't think they are recommended for long term use though, and my daughter did take ages on each feed, but we just kept trying without them and if she couldn't do it I went back to them until eventually one day we were away, and with no pain at all.

(hope that makes sense)

Also hope the move went well!
MrsSnaplegs let us know if you have any updates!

[mathanxiety]

Article on baby thrush here. Another here. Has the baby any little white spots in her mouth that look like milk but don't rub away? Has the gf any spots on her nipples?

[MigGril]

Hi Adam,

Wish I'd seen your poster yesterday, don't know if your still around. But it would be good to post this in Breastfeeding as there are some lovely ladies over there who are breastfeeding councilers.

I'm going to add some more info hear for you. First there are a number of support lines' if the NCT doesn't have someone close who can come out and see you then maybe some else does.

Hear are the no.
National Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 100 0212

NCT Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 330 0771

La Leche League Helpline
0845 120 2918

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
08444 122 949

this is a really good ebsite for lots of info on breastfeeding
www.kellymom.com/index.html

This website has video's to show you what a good latch should look like plus lots of good information to.
www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/

As for the soure nipples the best thing for healing is wet healing. Keeping them moist all the time, using either nipple cream/ brestmilk or something like vasaline will all work.

To help healing really you should avoid pumping or using nipple sheilds. Both can couse rubbing on the nipple and actualy make them more soure. Nipple shilds while they seem like a good idea can interfear with milk production as babies don't extract milk effectivly when using them.

Your GF really needs to get the latch sorted. prolonged feeding at the breast is not unuseall for young babies. The breast never completly empty as milk is produced on a supply and demand basis. In fact the only time they stop making milk is when your boobs feel overfull. Try not to suppliment as this can lead to a visous cycle of reduced supply. If supplimenting is needed there are other ways to give milk then with a bottle in order to aviod bottle prefferances. Either cup feeding or using a syring, but some one needs to show you how to do the cup feeding.

If your baby has become fussy and frustrated when put to the breast then try plenetly of skin to skin time without trying to feed. Baby needs to be more relaxed, doing things like taking a bath with the baby can all help.

I hope you get the help and support you need.

[MrsSnaplegs]

Adam maybe we could meet for coffee/ lunch next week if not. Hopemove is ok

[Mobly]

I would post this in Breastfeeding too- you will get alot more advice. (Not saying the advice on here isn't good already but Tiktok usually replies to threads like this doesn't she?)

[AdamR]

interesting comments about breast shields comming in. do they assist the babys latch ?

MrsSnaplegs,
We are moving in to elson (1st house), so we are still fairly local and im hoping all will run smoothly.
We dont have to be in there straight away which im hoping will reduce stress, but im wanting to get most things sorted so we are deffinately in by saturday.

I will see if the GF wants to go for a walk and stroll down your way :)

Thank you for the offer

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

Nipple shields really take the pain away, and will help baby get a proper mouthful. I only used them for a couple of days, but that was enough. As with pookamoo, they were the difference between BF or giving up!

[MrsSnaplegs]

AdamR - are you staying local? If GF wants somewhere quiet she can always come here for a couple of hours, I know we haven't met but I also know how stressfull moving is as we did it when I was 35 weeks

[Shallishanti]

good luck with the move!

[AdamR]

Shallishanti

I would not want to lodge a complaint against the breast feeding lady. She really does not mean any harm, just I dont think her method is great for us. :)


I will have a look at those nipple shields, but would want to keep feeding as natural as possible.

Will do a bit more of an update hopefully win a few days, but if i go quiet, its because we are moving tomorrow and we wont have internet or a phone line for a few weeks! :(

[SkyBluePearl]

That sounds just like my first baby. Took her 3 weeks to regain the weight - took a while for the breast feeding to work but then we did it fora year and a half in the end. Just fab. She is still quite small now aged 8 but it's genetic - shes also very bright and perfectly formed.

[pookamoo]

adam I looked at your photo of Chloe, she is so so cute! In the middle of the night, sometimes it's a good job they are that cute, isn't it?

I didn't mention it before, but like saggyoldcatpuss, I have used nipple shields. It was seriously the difference between carrying on or giving up at 7 days.
these are the ones we had.

They can be criticised by some people because in the long term they can reduce your milk supply, but they will give your GF a bit of respite as they make it much less painful. I found they also helped my baby to latch on better. You can work on getting rid of them later, when the nipples aren't so sore.

You are all doing really well, good luck with the breastfeeding groups.