When did you start referring to baby by their name?

[Kelsey28]

Just because I'm being really nosy! When did you start calling your baby their chosen name? Did you wait till they were born? When did you tell other people what you were going to call them? I've see lots of name announcements at around 16 weeks on instagram though these all seem to be American families!

[Redpony1]

I'd definitely keep it secret even from family until after birth. I get a strange not nice feeling when people call them by their name before they are born. Although in AerodactylsAssembl's case i totally understand, what sad circumstances


I'm not sure how i'd react if someone invited me to a gender reveal party... I'd have to think up a good excuse not to go, even if it was family!

[Hellochicken]

I was talking about the benefit of announcing name after baby born!

[Hellochicken]

We didnt name them until they were born.
(and didnt find out gender)
We had a names short list (it was usually between 2 names). Then decided in first couple days.
Friends of ours didnt decide for weeks, despite knowing gender.

I think part of the reason was (as pp said) if you say name, someone might comment on it, like it isnt decided, to try and change your mind. Whereas if I ring people and say, his name is XX they can't (or didnt) say anything. trying to sound general but actually specifically talking about my DM

[MarmiteDoesYouGood]

It makes me cringe to see people call unborn babies a name. They might want to change their minds and how can they with it all splashed over Facebook

The same could be said after announcing a name when the baby has been born. If you don't buy into a baby "looking like" a certain name (which I don't), then why would I be worried about changing my mind?

Keeping it a secret is traditional in British culture but people should remember that this tradition/superstition doesn't necessarily exist in all cultures! It doesn't have to mean outrageous parties and grandiose social media announcements, but for many people around the world it is perfectly normal to tell friends and family the name of your baby before he/she is born.

[Sara107]

We didn't decide on a name until after dD was born. No idea when we announced her name, I suppose when we announced the birth or maybe there were follow up messages. I wasn't involved in any of the getting in touch with people, and it's all a blur now anyway. I can't imagine making a big fuss of announcing a name for an unborn baby. Would feel a bit strange - and what if the name doesn't seem to suit the baby when it's born?

[WhiskyAndTwiglets]

After she was born for my first. About 4 weeks after birth for my third. My second was still born and we called him a different name to what he possibly would have been if he'd been living.
It makes me cringe to see people call unborn babies a name. They might want to change their minds and how can they with it all splashed over Facebook.

[strawberrypenguin]

Mine weren't named until they were born. Which was good because in both cases they didn't suit our 'top' name!

[BertieBotts]

With DS we told people as soon as we decided which was shortly after the 20 week scan. I was only young though. DH and I have decided when we have a baby we'll keep the name secret until birth. But I think we've already got a girl and boys' name

FWIW we did use the name[s] when I was pregnant last year and even though I miscarried we are still keeping the names to use later. It was an early miscarriage and we don't feel like we lost a baby. If we had a later term miscarriage or a stillbirth, I think we'd want the baby to keep their name and choose a new one for a subsequent birth.

A gender reveal party is not for me but I honestly don't think anything could make the pain of a stillbirth, cot death or late miscarriage worse TBH. It's not as though not having parties makes a baby less special or wanted, is it? That would be pretty ludicrous. And I don't believe in tempting fate.

[KitKats28]

AbernathysFringe same. Although she's nearly 17 and I still rarely manage it .

With the oldest, the bump had a ridiculous name, and we didn't actually choose a name for him till about 2 days after he was born. I wasn't convinced I liked it, so I rarely used it till I was sure after about two weeks.

With DD, she was named from before conception, as we were using the girl name we didn't use first time. We still didn't refer to her by her name until she was born though.

[itsonlysubterfuge]

My DH called our DD her name from after the 20 week scan and they said she was a girl. I refused to call her name in case she was a boy. However when I saw her little face in the 4D scan and even I could see she was a girl, I started calling her by her name while I was still pregnant. However, she is 4 and half now and I still refer to her as "the baby" sometimes .

[spiderlight]

We decided on a name well before DS was born but we didn't use it consistently for ages after he'd arrived. He had a nickname (based on a truly ludicrous name my DH half-jokingly suggested) from as soon as we found out he was a boy, and that stuck for the first few weeks/months, when we weren't calling him 'the baby'. For some strange reason I found it awkward to use his name at first - it seemed like he was too small and new for it, somehow, and I was worried that people wouldn't like it. Even now if DH and I are talking about him, he tends to be referred to as 'The Boy', and he' snearly 10!

[waitingforsomething]

We didn't start calling them by their name until they were born. Which is good because we changed our minds both times.

Not sure why I just find it a bit weird when they refer to them by their proper name before birth.

[RainbowJack]

@AvaBird

Come back and tell us!

I hope she doesn't since people have been such assholes about it.

[Squeakymoo]

Didn't want to know the sex of either before they arrived. DS had our chosen name for 1 day then after a baby in maternity ward (who was quite ugly compared to mine - looking back at photos mine wasn't that great though- rose coloured glasses maybe) anyway switched 1st and middle name on day 2.
DD suited our chosen name as soon as I saw her. Our chosen were quite old fashioned and caused a few raised eyebrows but now are more popular

[AlexandraEiffel]

Thanks augustrose. I'm sorry so hear about your DS2. Much love.

It meant a lot to us that people did use his name. The consultants picked up on this and used his name in all our letters to. Was so important to acknowledge his existence. Hopefully the days of feeling the need to hide miscarriages and still births are on their way out.

[CesareBorgiasUnicornMask]

My not-a-bump-yet is called Bean. As was his/her older brother, though that interchanged with his name, as that was a foregone conclusion as soon as we knew he was a boy as it's according to a DH family tradition.

This time I get to choose and have a strong contender for both a boy's name and a girl's name, but I don't know if we'll tell people as there was so much whinging about DS's name - I might just keep them secret from everyone until after the birth. Though DH and I will probably end up using one if we find out the gender and it'll just slip out.

[AugustRose]

All our babies have had their name chosen before birth but with DS1 and DD1 we didn't know what sex they where so couldn't call them by name until they were born.

With DD2 we knew she was a girl but didn't tell anyone so we couldn't call her by name as we wanted to keep her our little secret.

With DS2 we started calling him by name after the 19 week scan and told people he was a boy and what were were going to call him. I am so glad we did as he died at 37 weeks and giving him his name early made him real to others, similar to AlexandraEiffel post - I am so pleased your son survived

With DS3, because of what happened with DS2, we again told everyone he was a boy and what his name was.

[raviolidreaming]

I am so pleased that I had my daughters in the days when you never knew the sex of the baby to be. Gender reveal parties sound ludicrous

They're not compulsory.

[QuinionsRainbow]

Ours didn't have names until they were born, as we didn't know their sex in advance. We did have boy and girl names ready for each one before hand.

[Hulababy]

PlymouthMaid1 - not sure it is really any easier if unnamed. I had an early miscarry so not told anyone, and no names - though obviously had started to think about the future etc. I found it very hard to have to go and tell immediate family, work and close friends what had happened - couldn't just hide it away and keep it a secret as I was in an emotional mess for a little while, had to miss time at work, explain appointments, etc. and tbh I didn't want it to be a secret. After that I saw no reason not to open about a pregnancy - although I still saw no reason to call my baby by its real name til born, but certainly not for any superstitious reasons or thinking it might make things easy. I just didn't want til until I had met and seen our baby to decide if the name suited him/her.

[PlymouthMaid1]

In my mind it seems a bad idea having lots of fanfare before baby is born as I presume it would make things even more emotional if baby didn't survive to term. Also gifts etc would be more upsetting if baby never used them. Maybe not though as I don't speak from experience but must be a bit superstitious about it.

[Shutthatdoor12]

When they were born. Don't think you totally know until you see their little faces.

[Hulababy]

TBH the fact that you may have a miscarry or the baby is born stillborn wouldn't be a negative concern. Some people may even be comforted by the fact their lost baby has a name. And even those who don't name the baby beforehand may well chose to name their lost baby when born anyway.
I don't believe in the superstition aspect either.

[MarmiteDoesYouGood]

It also all sounds a bad idea from the point of view of possible miscarriage or still birth

What does?

[Aki23]

Day of birth. 'Bump' up until then