DH isn't willing to compromise! Will we ever name our baby?

[Astrid79]

We have a baby boy, who arrived last weekend.

We don't share the same style... We did a list of 50 names (each) that we both liked (not necessarily loved, but just liked) and not one of them matched

Some on his list were Axel, Brock, Cooper, etc.

I don't think Cooper is a bad name (it was my favourite from his list) but it's seriously not a name I'd even consider. However, I realised that I needed to compromise too, so I suggested Hunter (to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of it, but thought I'd see if he would agree to my biggest stretch) and he likes the name, but doesn't love it, so apparently it would be unfair! Never mind I'm not actually even keen on it, but thought I'd try and move forward maybe I should have posted on relationships

On my list were Daniel, Isaac, Nathaniel, so probably seen as a bit more 'dull' I suppose, but to be honest, I just prefer that.

His biggest stretch is Xavier (again, not a name I love, but would be happy to let it grow on me). I don't really feel like it's at all a compromise though because he admits that he loves the name and even said before that he won't go for a name that he doesn't love and then tells me that it's sorted ( whenever I try and discuss it ) as he says that his name is Xavier Hunter, but I then try and explain that we need to talk about it more as I don't actually like it and he says that I bloody picked Hunter !!

I'm just up stressing about it

[DoYouRememberJustinBobby]

My brother suggested Hunter when my (normally very mild mannered) SIL was in labour and she punched him in the nose. 😂

I like your names. Maybe compromise in having a classic first name which has a variety of possible nicknames (Alexander) and two of his American frat boy names as middle names.

[SansasEscape]

What does he think of Alex/Xander OP?

[finova]

Harrison, Anderson, Gray.
I knew of a William Darcey which is quite nice as a middle name.
Xavier Nathaniel is nice, but to be honest I think you should get 1st name and he middle and last, or he chooses first name and you middle and last.
Is he bringing names to the table too? Or just dismissing yours?

[WankersHacksandThieves]

I think it depends on the Surname and also on where you live. In Scotland it is very common to use surnames as first names, it's not a fad, but we don't tend to use the occupation ones such as Carter and Hunter etc. More names that have been passed down through families, often they use the mother's maiden name. That's been the case in both my brother and my DHs case. I wouldn't do it as my maiden name isn't one that would make a good first name.

[captainproton]

Personally, what sounds on trend now, I.e. Surnames, will be the Cliff, Trevor, Sharon, Tracey of 2050.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

OP, you sound so nice, many congratulations 🌺🌺🌺
Do not let your DH, call all the shots. You gave birth to this little one.
I suggest, if he is having DHs surname, that DH, picks his middle name, and you my lovely, his first name, because right now, you should be No1 !
By all means run them by him, but stick to your guns, if you can.
Xander and Xavier are equally nice, also Daniel, Nathaniel, Hudson and many more great suggestions.
Let us know, when you decide.😀

[WankersHacksandThieves]

What about something like Christopher James but he can call him CJ?

Other suggestions:

Calvin
Asher
Hayden
Marcus
Finlay
Dale
Maximilian
Keir
Harvey
Piers
Evan
Oscar
Sylvester
Gregory
Bennett (Ben)
Curtis
Dexter
Conor

[Hiphopopotamus]

Hudson?

[WankersHacksandThieves]

Lucas
Miles
Blair
Elliot
Brodie
Harris
Lewis
Austin
Logan
Cormac
Cameron


All surname type first names that aren't as extreme

[liquidrevolution]

You missed a trick here. You should have flung a name you liked at him 10 seconds after DS was born and your DH would be so deliriously happy that he would have agreed to it.

I may have done this

[NameChange30]

It's ok to keep your surname for life purposes and not just work purposes

Since your son is having your husband's surname, and since YOU GAVE BIRTH TO HIM, you get the final say on the first name. You deserve to love the name as much as your husband loves it.

(FWIW I think Alexander, nn Xander, is lovely.)

Does he bully you about other decisions too?

[Astrid79]

Thanks everyone, I'm going to go through surnames now and look at names with NNs.

We are married but I kept my surname ( for work purposes ) so I just thought it might be easier for him to have his surname? Tbh, he hates my surname so I don't think he'd want him to have mine anyway.

Alexander is great and he might actually like Xander, so I'll ask him.

Thanks everyone!!

[LetsSplashMummy]

I was going to say Alexander/ Xander too - or nickname Lex (they both sound super-hero ish)!

Is there any surname names you like - Logan, Clark? Or does he have anyone he really respects with a normal name that it could be in homage to, or at least he has good associations with?

Other middle ground names might be Max, Zach, Olivier.

Good luck and congratulations!

[Mooey89]

My friend's baby is Hunter. Not just hunter, but with a surname that actually matches a really famous hunter too!

It really suits him and I actually really like it.

[Chinlo]

Don't call the poor child Hunter. He will have to endure jokes about wellies for the rest of time



That must be some countryside joke that us city folk don't get.

[BarInSpace]

It sounds as if he likes surnamey names as first names, but you prefer more traditional first names? Could he come up with a few names that aren't surnames, and see if you like them?

[crazycrofter]

We had this exact same problem. We couldn't find a girl's name we both liked. In the end she got DH's choice at 5 weeks old! I did choose the middle names. On the plus side I got to name DS and he was named a few minutes after birth (middle names chosen by DH at a slightly later date but he was registered much earlier than DD!).

I think it probably is better to go for a name one of you really likes than for one that you both think is ok. Whatever happens your son will probably hate his name anyway! I know I always have and my children now complain about their names, aged 10 and 12.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Love the Alex/Xander suggestion.

[AyeAmarok]

Daniel Cooper is nice.

However, agree that if you're using his surname and not yours (are you sure about this?) then you get to pick the first name.

Your choices are better anyway!

[TripTrappedNow]

Agree with a pp

Archer, shortens to Archie

Perfect, we nearly used this and didn't.
Have spent many hours over 6 years wishing we had.

[rainbow99]

I like buckyou suggestion of Alexander nn xander

[buckyou]

What about Alexander and you could call him Xander?

[carmenta]

Don't call the poor child Hunter. He will have to endure jokes about wellies for the rest of time.

[YvaineStormhold]

Axel and Hunter are all very well, but by Christ, you'd have to live up to them, wouldn't you?

Does your husband think he's sired an action hero? The living embodiment of his manly essence?

Your lovely baby is far more likely to become an IT consultant than a fire-fighting, bounty-hunting tree surgeon with his own helicopter.

Tell him to stop being a dick and get thee to the registry office. Your child needs a name so that people know what to call him, not an image for his dad to live vicariously through.

[Wishforsnow]

Completely agree with Sandsnake especially the part about him naming a Gladiator