Did you/would you go for a 'safe' name so as not to upset ...

[wonderingifiam2013]

Parents and in-laws?

I know people have strong views on revealing/not revealing names before baby arrives but both DH and I do not want to share our names before baby arrives. We don't know the sex and want to introduce baby to everyone by his/her name.

With baby #1 we were bombarded EVERY time we saw family members with name suggestions and questions even though they knew we wouldn't reveal the names we had chosen.

This time it's only just started (well past half way rather than just conceived last time! ) and isn't half as bad as last time ... yet!

But ... my inlaws were introduced to a baby the other week who had a name we secretly loved, although not top of our list, and totally slagged it off and asked why on earth you'd call a baby that?

Now the name we like for a girl is quite 'safe' although not overly popular ... whereas the boys name we both like will be greeted with shock/horror ... which both of us giggle at as it makes us want to use it even more so!

Therefore - are we being stubborn in wanting to use a name we know the family won't like and should we go for a safer more traditional name?

[ringaringarosy]

its not popular on here at all,in fact it was discussed on here not long ago on the cutesy thread.I am trying to think if there is another name i can give her on the birth certificate in case she hates it when shes older,but the 2 full names its known as a nickname for,she will hate,if she hates the nn,if that makes sense!

[Rufus43]

My mum spent most of my pregnancy saying that she didn't like the name we had chosen (since we were 17) for ds1. Lets say Bob for ease, the second she saw him she said "he looks like a bob"

[zacmum]

When we first told people our sons name(Elijah) they were horrified and made some not great comments but he is 5.5 now and all family got used to it even liking it now. We had safe names for both our children but decided to use the names we loved not please other people.

[zacmum]

And Aurora is lovely

[Zara1984]

We had some unusual choices/preferences for names before DS was born. We told our friends and most of them slagged them off which annoyed me

However what in the end made us go with a traditional name was DMIL saying that in hindsight she really wished she had given her 3 children traditional names (they all have unusual ones) as they all got a bit of stick (well DBIL got bullied heavily) because of their names.

If you told me 5 years ago that DS would have such a traditional name I would've been shocked and horrified. Future DCs will have traditional names too.

But basically you should name your children what you like and rude people can nob off...

[applepieinthesky]

withdrawal My ten month old is called Cassius too. I haven't had any negative comments yet, most people say it's a really cool name. Unusual but everyone has heard of it and can spell it and pronounce it (well..except my American uncle who says over there it's pronounced Cashus )

I always used to worry what people would think of the name we had chosen but when we came across DS's name I didn't care anymore. That's how I knew it was the one. I decided if anyone said they didn't like it my response would be 'You had your chance to name your children and I don't like their names either'.

[Seaweedy]

Aurora and Cassius are both very nice.

No, I didn't play it safe either. We told no one the name we had chosen (which came to me in a weird moment of clarity while I was throwing up on the way hime from work in my first trimester!) until he was born, when we said 'X born at 10.20 am, 8.5 pounds etc, and presented it as a fait accompli. All four grandparents were embarrassed by it, though it's far from 'out there', one of the less common Biblical names. They never said a thing, though. I adore his name still, and I love that it is uncommon.

[lola88]

My mum hated Ds's name and told me constantly all though my pregnancy and begged me to change it I didn't and she likes it now.

My theory is if you love the name then nothing and no one will put you off, if other peoples opinions make you think twice about it then maybe it's not the right name anyway. I'm as stubborn as a ox though once I decided something no one will change my mind.

[Ezio]

Dont kill me with curiosty Seaweedy.

[withdrawalmethod]

applepie - nice to hear of another baby Cassius! We call ours Cass but his big sis calls him Cassie poor boy

[Ezio]

Bloody sisters eh, she'll no doubt call him that in adulthood.

[Littleen]

Aurora is lovely. I was really jealous of a girl I knew as a child, who was called Aurora. It's gorgeous.

We are not telling anyone until baby is born and decision made. If they then make rude comments they can gtfo! :)

[Thesebootsweremadeforwalking]

I genuinely could not care at all what family thought of my children's names, but DH and I both put a lot of stock in the Eddie Izzard principle, of calling your kids names which wouldn't get them beaten up in the school playground. So we have two children with old testament and mid-top 100 names, which we also happen to love.

We didn't discuss names with anyone beforehand, because frankly it wasn't their business and wasn't up for negotiation. And if anyone had questioned the names we chose I would just have chided them for being so rude!

[PeanutPatty]

The family will simply have to get over it. Your child. Not theirs. As long as you are not calling s/he "Kleeneze" or something utterly ridiculous ignore them.

[PenelopeLane]

It's also so much easier to be critical of names when their use is theoretical. My sister gave my niece a name I wasn't really familiar with a few months ago, with unusual spelling, and my first thought was "?!?!?!" But, because it's my niece's name and I love her, I got over it within hours of finding out, and now I think it's a fabulous name and can't believe I didn't love it from the start - especially the spelling, which really works. Had it been thrown into conversation while my sister was pregnant I may have been critical too, and it would have been a shame if that had mattered to her.

Also, the discussion about Aurora got me thinking about associations (ie Disney) and how those change too. People who have never met an Aurora may think about the Disney princess, but as soon as they know someone with that name, that will be flipped on its head and when they hear of the princess they'll think about the girl if that makes sense. So something like that isn't a reason not to use a name IMHO.

[KristinaM]

I think you shoudl choose a name that you think your son or daughter will love

So if you have always wanted to be called after a fruit, then change YOUR name to peaches apple.or if your DP wanst to honour his favourite football team, then he can change his. If you want to be individual or unique, then do so yourself.dont impose it on a child.

Please think carefully about giving your child a name that might become a burden to them, embarass them or make them a laughing stock.

[thomasmad]

First child, very traditional name ( quite common from 60's -80's) not so common now. Royal family name, with a Scottish middle name beginning with D. My parents hated it. Not the name - the fact that I'd used a middle name. None of our family have middle names. Utter rubbish as it turns out after researching family tree!! D Twins, extremely premature, were given both dad's names as middle names, 20 mins to name them as hospital chaplain was on the way!! ( so no pressure!!) parents loved the names, even though one has an unusual first name and the middle name is very similar in origin to child one. Just go with what you like at the end of the day they will get used to it and there are more important things to worry about at times!! Story ended well and all three have a " strong, solid, classic" name. Two with very special family connections ( middle names) in very pressurised, emotional circumstances. The weird thing was after - the meanings of their names which I never knew were perfect and everyone agrees they suit their names.

[SeaSickSal]

I chose a 'safe' name for my baby.

The reason why I did this is because I don't want my child to be shoved into a 'box' and to be judged by his name.

I did not want him to have a name which gave away his social class or the education level or beliefs of his parents. Also I didn't want to stamp him which was more about me and how I viewed the world than thinking about what he might like as an adult and what would be positive for him.

I wanted him to be, if you like, a 'blank slate' so that he would be judged on his own personality and what he does rather than by a first impression which may be erroneous.

To give an example tonight it has been reported on the news that a boy called Macauley has been done for murder. He is 18 so he was born in 1995 when Macauley Culkin was quite famous and I had instant visions of a 16 year old in a council flat calling her baby after the celebrity of the day. I did this in a 'feeling quite sorry for him because he never really had a chance' way.

But I also don't want him to have a middle class name so he looks like a tit if he ends up a tattooist in Brixton or an alternative name like 'Neon' etc, etc.

Each to their own but I wanted my son to transcend his name rather than be defined by it, if that makes sense.

[Sunnysummer]

Aurora is gorgeous! My friend has a lovely little Aurora, she's currently a bit of a tomboy and all her friends call her Rory, which is also cute

[AmpullaOfVater]

Only an idiot judges someone by their name.

[droid400004]

We had a name we loved for a girl, including the names of both great grandmothers, but couldn't even agree on a shortlist of names for a second boy! In the end we waited till DS 2 was born and named him for his looks and his emerging personality. Sure, both our DS were 'baby boy X' on the paperwork for a few days, but they both have names that suit them as individuals, since we didn't choose names till we met them!

[Writerwannabe83]

Aurora is an absolutely lovely name!!

Ok, yes, it is the name of a Disney Character, but how extremely beautiful was Aurora??! Sleeping Beauty was always my favourite Disney film, I would have loved to have been called Aurora!

[daftdame]

We discussed the names we liked with parents. Erik was one possibility, but MiL hated it, so we dismissed that option and picked another name we liked. Didn't want any unnecessary bad feeling.

[SHarri13]

I put safe names in the 'booooooring' box. My husband and I both had slightly different names and loved it, it was nice not having 5 others of the same name in our classes at school.

Aurora was my favourite Disney princess