Quick background, am 42 and DH is 49, have 2 DS's - DS1 age 12 (conceived by 3xIVF) and DS2 age 6 (adopted as baby). Have had over 17 yrs unexplained fertility so both sons were 'very much wanted'. About a year ago, suddenly found out I was pregnant, completely gobsmacked however turned out be complete molar (quite rare) and so was over by 8 weeks. Docs were amazed, was tested for 6 months due to molar and then given all clear. Periods stopped, had more blood tests and was told was in perimenopause and that the pregnancy was probably my body's last burst of fertility. However found out over 2 weeks ago, 2 days before we were due to go abroad for a fortnight that I was pregnant again. Just couldn,t believe it, no way could it happen again, rushed up hospital for scan and was told everything normal, heartbeat seen and approx 7 weeks pregnant. In shock and denial, pleaded for a termination before my hols but obviously they couldn't do this at such short notice. Booked me in for counselling in 3 wks time because of hols and termination following week. Have just returned from hols and body has changed so much in the last couple of weeks. Have all the pregnancy symptoms and am just so gutted. Have spoke to DH and we both feel we are too old to contemplate going ahead. Am now getting a bit of independence as children are growing up. Have been doing school run for last 8 years and just cannot imagine starting all over again. DH admits he feels old being a dad to a 6 yr old as all his friends etc are now grandparents so cant imagine what he would be like with a new born. Also marriage isn't fantastic at the mo, hasn't been for sometime although not noticeable so much at home as both do our own things ,however did notice on hols how little we now have in common, prob only the children. On the plus side, cant help thinking that this could be a gift and was meant too find out a couple of days before hols so couldn't rush out and get termination. To fall pregnant naturally for me after this time is just un believeable. However there are so many things on the minus side, I suppose the main one being I just cant visualise me starting all over again now. Feel like DS2 would miss out as he is only 6 so still needs a lot of attention, and also think that I may resent having baby in years to come, when I am 50 I will have a 7 year old and by then all my friends children will have grown up and I think I would feel quite isolated and alone. I know it sounds selfish but I have got to think of the future as well. Keep debating whether to have CVS in case something is wrong so can warrant termination, but then if it comes back normal am still in the same situation, only further along which makes it even harder. Would welcome any advice/opinions, will not be offended in anyway as feel completely heartless. Just need to sort my head out as having been going round and round for nearly 3 weeks and seems to be getting worse!
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Antenatal tests
Pregnant at 42, battling with having termination!
crunchy3 · 31/08/2010 09:25
I can totally relate. (((Gentle hug)))
I was faced with a surprise pregnacy at 43. I was too old. Didn't want to be going down that route again. Was already old enough to be a grandparent. Didn't want to be doing to school run with a walking frame 
I have always been prolife. Never judged anyone else though. But I will be honest. For a few weeks I thought 'I can't have this baby'.
I had little thoughts of 'but what if'. And I sat and asked myself a question.
A year from now:
If I don't keep the baby is there a chance I will have regrets or feel guilt?
If I do keep the Baby and have a son or daughter bouncing on my knee is there any chance I will have regrets?
And I realised that no. Once I had and held my baby I would never regret having her.
She is now an adorable 2 year old with a headful of curls. She makes me smile every day!!!
I do realise how hard it is. Just be totally sure of your choice. I have seen first hand how the guilt can get to people.
If you do decide to go ahead with the termination be gentle on yourself. Give your boys extra cuddles and NEVER beat yourself up over it.
Sending you strength and love. Xx
Wishing you and your family all the very best for the future, Crunchy.
"It's like saying the pro-lifers who commented on this thread shouldn't have clicked on it because the thread title mentioned termination."
Have any of the pro-lifers who commented on here said: "this thread has pissed me off. Crunchy and others rabbitting on about terminations when I am a pro-lifer. . . " ?
If they have then you may have a point, and I would respond to them the same way as I did to you.
But as far as I can see they have just given their opinions and most have stated where they stand on the issue so that Crunchy can ignore their posts should she want to.
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Don't be silly, balloonslayer. It's like saying the pro-lifers who commented on this thread shouldn't have clicked on it because the thread title mentioned termination.
Ledkr - glad to hear your pg is going well
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