to not have a joint bank account with DH?

[BusyMissIzzy]

Reading another thread, I just wondered how common/uncommon it is for couples to have separate bank accounts. DH and I have one joint account, but only for when we get cheques in joint names. We keep our money separate; until recently DH paid the mortgage and I paid everything else, and that worked out roughly equal (I'm now on maternity leave so DH pays everything except grocery shopping). We'd take turns to pay for meals out/treats etc. Is this weird? It's just the way we've always done it, and it seems to work for us. Only thing is he earns more so has more "spare" money, but I think that's fair enough as he's earned it.

[laweaselmys]

DP leaves all money stuff to me so I have arranged it all into a mix of joint and separate accounts.

But this is partly because we both suffer a bit from rubbish impulse control and for us shuffling money around according and having strict and separate 'spare' limits makes it all add up at the end of the month.

I could never just have one joint account for everything. I'd never save any money!

[SeaTrek]

We have totally joint accounts.

I wouldn't have a clue how to sort it out otherwise, especially as I am a part-time teacher and DH earns 6x more than me in a typical year. Our spending, on ourselves, is roughly in-line with what we would have spent when we were single though.

When I first moved in with DH though he was unemployed and we lived off my full-time wage (the mortgage was paid by his mortgage protection insurance). I also paid off his large overdraft when I first moved in with him and our account became joint.

It is just easier for us this way and it has never caused us any problems. We have both adapted to each others ways a bit though. We have one small, shared, car (my influence) and the house is full expensive electrical items (his influence).

[isitnearlywineoclock]

Don't think there's a right/wrong way, whatever works for you is fine. DH and I have always had a joint a/c even though he earns much more than me (I work part time plus do everything at home (cooking etc) and 99% of sorting out the kids (feeding, baths, entertaining and organising etc) as he works long hours. Sounds like I'm defending my right to our money now. Actually, considering what I do at home plus 3/4 of a paid full time job I think I have every right to an equal share!

[mrsfollowill]

We have a joint account (where his salary is paid into) and my account (where my wages go into and the child benefit/tiny bit of tax credit goes in) so I basically 'control' all our money. But it works for us! He never goes shopping for food/household stuff. I work less hours so do all that. We view all the money as 'ours' - it is family money. (or family overdraft )

[RobynLou]

"Only thing is he earns more so has more "spare" money, but I think that's fair enough as he's earned it"

that's the only bit that I'm not sure works as well post children, if you go pt/sah/have to pay for childcare.....

we have seperate accounts, but all the money is both of ours - I don't see what is in my account as purely 'mine' it is mine and dh's and dd's

[Linnet]

Dh and I have our own bank accounts we always have done. We both put in the same amount of money every month to cover all bills and bit extra, any money we have left from our pay is ours to spend as we like. Dh transfers his portion of money into my account when he gets paid and all the direct debits come out of my account.

We've done it like this for over 15 years now and it works for us.

[LordVolAuVent]

What's his is mine, what's mine's my own . Works for me us

[EdgarAllenPoll]

we have separate accounts but treat it as both our money.

originally, this was so i could avoid repaying my student loan another year.....and because his credit rating was worse than mine.

now, it is more because i CBA changing it.

[flossielimejuice]

should point out that is not ask in a needy itermising wat -just 'can i have another 500 this month' way.

[scottishmummy]

Quattrocento,yes agree.lol your post odd children

[flossielimejuice]

We have seperate accounts but dh pays £1200 into my account a month and I pay all the bills.

Works for us as basically all money is joint - if i want more i just ask.

[scottishmummy]

both work ft.have separate accs.his and mine
joint for mortgage,nursery,bills,shopping

definite his and mine money

after we both contribute to joint we have own money.and not accountable to the other what we do with our own money

[foureleven]

Thats right quattro, I think its worth thiking what will work best in many areas before assuming that as a married couple everything should be shared..

[Quattrocento]

I'm firmly convinced that the reason DH and I are still married (17 long years) is that we DON'T share a bank account.

Simply because you share a bed, and a house, and the odd child, does not mean you have to share a bank account.

[DuelingFanjo]

"DF what happens if one of you stops earning for a while then? "

well, I will be going on maternity leave later this year and then we will work out how much each of us can contribute according to what each of our outgoings is. What's left will be our own.

[marriednotdead]

Very interesting to see how others deal with money. No right or wrong way, it's whatever suits.
We have separate accounts and totally differing attitudes to money. I manage all the household finances and no amount of pleading discussion will persuade him to take an interest.
DH is terrible with money (has had gambling issues that nearly finished us) so it's easy for my inner control freak to just get on with it anyway.
I currently have his bank card and don't know how long (if ever) before he can be trusted with it
If he wants money, he asks me. If he needs to pay for something when we're out, he does so and gives the card straight back.

[lovechoc]

we have both seperate and joint accounts.

DH pays all the bills from his own account and our joint account is only for cheques to us both and for the CB and CTC payments to go into. It's not really used for anything else.

[orienteerer]

Separate here for current a/c, we have a joint savings a/c which we never touch. DH works abroad (with dodgy internet link) & I have full access to his a/c to make transfers & pay bills. I have some rental income coming into my current a/c. Works for us.

[bowbluebell]

Interesting thread.

A colleague (veteran bra-burner) once told me that emancipation is economic. The older and more 'married with two kids' I get, the more I understand what she means.

My parents have always had different accounts and don't know how much money each has. When mum lent dad money to buy his midlifecrisis car, she charged him interest at .05% below what the bank would have charged! They have the happiest relationship of almost any couple I know and never argue about money.

DH and I have seperate accounts and own seperate houses (we live in mine, rent his out). He pays me a 'salary', which means that we have similar incomes.Once we've paid what we've agreed to, what we do with the rest is up to us. I think that we might be unreasonable but it works for us....

[Snobear4000]

YANBU. Perfectly sensible.

[rimmer08]

same as trillian, we have a joint account for bills etc and our own accounts aswell. so no yanbu

[NanBullen]

I work in a bank and it's mostly younger couples (under say 35) who have a joint account for bills and then their own separate accounts that their wages are paid into.

Older couples tend to do what my parents do and just have one account for everything.

And there are the women who don't actually have a bank account and then are faced with actually having to deal with money and bills for the first time in their lives when their dh passes away

[minipie]

DF what happens if one of you stops earning for a while then?

[DuelingFanjo]

I don't control what my DH spends. Once all the bills are paid then what we have left from our own wages is ours to spend.