I know i am NBU, please confirm!! DSS and girlfriend

[TrappedinSuburbia]

Dss (16) has brought his girlfriend home for the first time. They are currently watching a dvd in his bedroom (door open).
I say that when ds (5) goes to bed, they need to come downstairs.
AIBU?? (dp disagrees)

[TiggyR]

I didn't mean in here. I meant in there. Though we seem to have killed this one as well.

[TiggyR]

Thanks, but it's quiet in here.....

I may have pulled up too many chairs round the podium, and ordered in too much milk and teabags!

Sunny day I suppose. People are out doing all the worthy and useful half-term things that I should be doing.

[BritFish]

you're a star!

[TiggyR]

My work is done. In 'Teenagers'.

[TiggyR]

Aw, shucks. Me? Really?

Ah, go on then! See you there.

[BritFish]

TiggyR please start a 'TiggyR's Parents&Teen Sex Thread!' we can spread the word!

[Fruitysunshine]

TiggyR - I am in agreement with your new club too.

I think a real important part of helping teens through this phase in their life is to help them face and learn to deal/cope with adult issues and emotions and at this stage sex is a very big part of their lives whether they are doing it or thinking about it.

We are lucky that DS is in a long term relationship to a lovely, bright girl and she is a very good influence on DS. That is what has enabled them to sleep together in our home - their stability together. Both her parents know and contraception has been addressed by both of them - they both take responsibility for their bodies.

[BritFish]

i want TiggyR to be president!

we're talking about porn now? adult videos?

[iamamug]

Aaaah Mumbar I knew the adult video thing was a mistake - just made me chuckle! I'm sure you'll be very understanding when DS grows up - hard letting the horrid girls near your precious boys though lol!

[mumbar]

could I just clafify by 'adult video' I mean NOT a U/PG and NOT Thomas the tank!!!!!

It's actually very interesting reading threads like this as I plan to let DS have g/f (serious ones) stay once he's 16 as I agree he'll prob do it elsewhere anyway.

Mindyou he's only 5 now!!

Also being a single parent it's possible if I ever met anyone I could have DSS/DSD so a good insight to what can happen.

My 'sex' talk from my mum was 'if you ever get pg then you can move out' very helpful me thinks!!! I was 16 at the time and not even interested in the boy thing then but often think that was because she made me scared of forming a relationship in case the sex thing came up. I didn't know how to handle that just had a fear of becoming PG.

Hence the reason when at 23 I was PG with DS I text my dad to tell her!! My DP thought I was mad!!!

[TiggyR]

OK, that was quick. Almost every time she opens her mouth it gets deleted by MN. She must be a blast! Can't imagine what she had to say about teenagers and sex, but probably best I don't know!

[TiggyR]

Just seen that Gichin has had a post deleted by MN on another thread. Wasn't quick enough to read it before it went, sadly. (I always miss the fun.) Reminded me that I was going to do some research on this Victoria Gillick /Mary Whitehouse figure. Back in a mo....

[iamamug]

Absolutely - (Back from work now and logged on again)
Teenagers will do what they do wherever they get the opportunity - foolish to think otherwise.
LMAO at Mumbar and her adult videos (Debbie does Dallas anyone!)
Tiggy I would vote for you...
Oh and usual suspect - these actual words have come out of my mouth "You treat this house like a hotel" I heard them come out - they wouldn't stop - it was like I was possessed!
Also know the perils of step parenting but I have been blessed with a lovely DSS - total PITA untidy, towels everywhere etc.. but a pleasure to have living here - his choice - when he was a little boy we had to go to court for overnight access - now that really makes me laugh!! ("you terat this house like a hotel")

[Disenchanted3]

I remember sitting in DHs room at 15 and his mum coming in, holding her hand out and saying

'hello I'm 'DH's' mum, lovely to meet you'

I felt ike I was meeting the queen

[mumbar]

and without sounding too soppy wouldn't you rather it was an act of love in bed than a quick one al fresco

[TiggyR]

I think 1pregheadpupkin's post proves the point that as far as 'protecting' your children goes, keeping BFs and GFs out of the bedroom is a fairly futile exercise!

[usualsuspect]

My house is also my ds's house .... its his home ..Somebody shoot me if I ever utter the words 'my house my rules'

[1pregheadpumpkin]

well im 18 with a baby on the way and my DP is STILL not allowed in my room, despite the fact that i cant get any more pregnant! (yes it was unplanned but all concerned are now very happy with prospect of baby, education out of the way and we both have full time jobs...i just know how 18 and pregnant sounds...)

but its her house and her rules and its not nice to have to think about your teenage children upstairs with their new gf/bf.

and the "watching a DVD" excuse is very convenient for them, one i've used myself. quiz them on it later, see how much of it got watched!!!

the fact that you let him up there for any lenght of time ought to be enough for him.

anyway, your youngest son wont want any disturbances to his bedtime routine. if they truly do want to watch a DVD, they'll be more than happy to stick it on downstairs!

[mumbar]

yes realised after I'd pressed send it was worded rather close to the line . I do actually have ghost on vid so borrow tv sometimes to watch it but Thomas the tank is not my thing!!!

[posieparker]

mumbar....you can watch something other than adult videos .

[mumbar]

OK read beginning of this thread yesterday and just caught up. I can see it has become a discussion about tv's etc in bedrooms aswell.

My DS 5.10 has a 14" tv/video combi in his room that was given to us by my aunt when we moved into our flat 2 1/2 yrs ago. Since then M+D bought a new one so gave us there old (ancient) 21". I put the combi in my room but never watched it as have no adult videos. We have had a wii for a year which was in the lounge.

We live DS and I in a 2 bed flat with a lounge/diner and box kitchen on the back. When we have visitors everyone was in the same room. Children wanting to watch Tv/ dvd play computer and adults wanting to chat.

Therefore about 3 months ago i put the tv/video combi in his room with the wii. He is not allowed to watch it at bedtime and computer time is set, but it allows him the independence to go away from mum and play when he has friends over which I consider as important as the adults having a place to chat.

I plan to allow him to have girlfriends over when he's a teenager but will not agree to nights over until it's serious and they are over 16. (being an aug baby he will have lef sch!)

I do agree you need to talk about contraception but it is harder for boys if a girl says they are taking contrapception but I guess trust is important.

Mindyou he's only 5 wonder what'll I'll be saying 10/11 yrs from now

[posieparker]

[TiggyR]

Oh I'm not sure I'd run for President of MN. That job is way too big for me. And too scary. Running for President of the USA or the EU states would be easier. The people are generally less intelligent and easier to control than most of the women on here!

[posieparker]

imamug....I can still be known to do Lizzie impressions, 'Oh leave it out Bee'!!

HE used to give me roses, I wish he would again, but that was on the outside and things were different then....la la la la.

[posieparker]

Mmm President of MN, shall we have elections.....I'll be Alistair Campbell, I'm bloody great a shit stirring and I'm occasionally witty.