to be grateful for my mil..

[biddysmama]

firstly because she has 6 children close together so knows what its like... because she never visits me... because she has taken my children on as well as her (due in august) bio grandchild... because she tells dp to shut up when he is being an idiot and tells him off for letting me do things when i should be resting... because she rings to make sure everythings ok...

becasue she squeals in delight when dd (14 months) does something new and always makes a big fuss of things (like when we booked the wedding)and never sticks her nose in (well, once when she was told by someone that dd's car seat was fitted wrong, it wasnt, its rear-facing)

and mainly becaus she is the total opposite of my mother

after all the mil threads i wanted one for lovely mil's

[Chezza27]

I'm pretty lucky - my 91 yo MIL lives with us for 6m each year and, although she could talk the hind legs off the donkey and occasionally clashes with stay-at-home DH, she has certainly never given me any cause for complaint... she's even happy to babysit DD (once she's in bed - lifting a wriggly 18 mo maybe a bit too much to ask) so we get to go out way more often than we otherwise would do. Oh, and she is absolutely besotted with DD (her first grand-child) and vice-versa.

Hurrah for MILs!

[shieldbug]

My PIL live round the corner but have never once interfered. It's fantastic having them so close for advice and help. Wednesday evenings are one of the highlights of my week when mil, sil and my 3 month-old niece and I all get together for girlie chats. You know, the good honest sort, where we are free to praise/moan about our dhs/ other problems without judgement. My parents are across the water and I miss them so much, so it's been great fitting into dh's family. Now that I'm pg with our first, I know they are going to be awesome grandparents (I can see how fantastic they are with my niece) and I can't wait!

[Holland75]

My MIL is great, she does suggest one too many ideas for decorating our home but that is the worst of it. She is good fun and always the first to offer to babysit.

[blonde36er]

What a lovely thread.

My MIL is lovely, FIL and I didn't really 'click' until DD was born 10 weeks ago. Since then they've visited at least once a fortnight (before it was more like every 6-12 months), skyped a couple of times a week but not interfered with our parenting in any way. They both adore DD. MIL has always done her best to make me feel part of the family, and isn't afraid to tell DH when he's being a lazy ase! We're all going on a big family holiday to Wales in August, paid for by MIL, and I can't wait! Ooh, and she has great taste in Christmas and birthday presents.

The only downside (if you can call it that!) is she's quite glam, so I always feel I have to bother my ase with decent clothes and makeup when I know she's coming ir we're going up there!

[PatsyIsPreggers]

My inlaws are fab.

We've just moved house and have a LOT to do before baby arrives in October. FIL came round 3 days last week to help decorating and is coming back next week to paint some more.

MIL has shown a genuine interest in my pregnancy (this is the first) despite already having 3 grandchildren and SIL expecting 4th. I'd have thought the novelty may have worn off by now.

They've always made me feel welcome in their family, let us stay with them for 6 weeks when we were between houses, invite us for sunday lunch every week, but are never offended if we're busy or say we'd like to do something else.

Just lovely really. And nice to have somewhere to sing their praises.

[slug]

I love my inlaws. They are everything you envision your inlaws to be before you get married. They have everything you want in an inlaw i.e.

They adore DD (who has them wound around her little finger)

They are under no illusions about DH's (occasional) flaws.

[Poledra]

I too have wonderful PsIL - have, in fact, told DH that if we ever get divorced, I'm keeping his parents in the settlement.

Don't get me wrong, my parents are great too, but you can never have too many lovely people in your life, can you?

[legspinner]

My MIL is fab She has 3 boys, and with all of the partners, has always said how good it is to have surrogate daughters to have girly chats with!

Out twins were her first GCs, and she came to live with us for the first 3 weeks. We couldn't have managed without her, she did most of the housework, all of the cooking, and told me to go off and sleep when I was at the end of my tether...and didn't really care about being tired. She's always been interested in the DCs, loves them to bits, gets down and plays with them, and has been really hands-on. She has also had the DCs overnight several times (when she was a bit more mobile) and she would say "I never got the chance to have some timeout from the kids with my husband, so I want to make sure you do".

She has had her downs too more recently and I hope we have managed to be as supportive of her as she has been of us.
Lovely thread btw; most unusual for an AIBU thread to give warm fuzzies!

[AbFabT]

Lovely thread!

I also have a great MIL (and FIL!).

She was immediately welcoming when DH brought me to meet them the day after our first date!
She treats me like a daughter.
She has raised a kind, sweet, amazing man - I owe her forever for that.
She bounded across the room and skipped with joy and hugged me til I thought I'd break when we told them we were pregnant.
She texts me regularly to see how I am doing. (She texts me more than she texts DH )
She makes sure DH knows how good I am for him (he does know, and doesn't need reminding, but it's lovely when she's complimentary like that.)
She is a fun, sweet, thoughtful, generous lady, with a heart of gold. Very much like my own mother - they really are spookily similar, in many ways.

Haven't had experience of her with my children as this is our first, but I know she'll be as hands on as possible/as we wish. The only issue is we live over 700 miles apart, but I believe they'll make the trip down south regularly for weekends once LO arrives.

[frikonastick]

comtessa, god, i really want to say yes i think she is suffering from metal health issues as then i can feel like there is a logical reason for suddenly taking against me. but on the other hand, how awful if she really is starting on the slow slide to senility. its very difficult.

i really dont know what to think about it all. she hasnt spken to me in about 6 weeks now, not even on my birthday (beofe, spoke every week at least) and its not like i have done/said anything to set her off.

she and FIL are still speaking to DH which i am pleased about as i dont want them to fall out. especially if his mom really is not well, then they are going to need him.

i dont know. sorry, maybe i should post about this in mental health or something!

lovely thread BTW

[misdee]

MY MIL dealt with dh illness with such grace and sometimes humour.

She took on the role of his nurse at home, learnt how to do his dressings so i didnt have to.

She sees the girls most weekends, and does so much with them.

She is always there, and I love her to bits. She is fab!

[comtessa]

frikonastick just a thought - is your MIL hitting the stage where she might be suffering from senility or suchlike? Seems strange for her to have a sudden change?

My MIL is great too. When DH and I called her to say we were engaged, her first words were: "Oh! A daughter!" And this is how she's always treated me. DH often jokes that I take after her. I'm so grateful as I love my mother dearly, and now I have another mother who is totally different to my own mother in that I can joke with her a lot more (my M rather serious) and say things that I wouldn't say to my own mum without worrying about how she'll take it. Currently 13+5, so we'll see how things are when DC1 arrives, but think she'll still be good. MIL was brought up by her GM, so when DH arrived, she gave up her her (higher-paying that FIL job) to look after him. Also they live in US so only see them a few times a year but are planning on being over here for several months this winter to bond with DC. Will report back after that! xx

[Bena1]

I also want to add how wonderful both my MIL and FIL are! I couldn't have asked for better inlaws, am really lucky. I get on so well with my MIL and can go to her anytime for advice and help.

Thanks for starting this lovely thread BIDDYSMAMA.

Yay for lovely MILs!

[KiwiPanda]

Hello just saw this thread and had to add a big virtual thumbs up for my MIL (and FIL) who are fabulous and FAR better with DD than my parents

• They get down on the floor and play with her (my parents sit on the sofa and watch)

• They praise her every tiny development

• My MIL never ONCE has even vaguely criticised anything I have done as a mother. If anything she compliments me on how I have done things, says she wishes she had done the things we have (like baby-led weaning, and extended BF)

• She buys DD little thoughtful presents that always turn out to be big hits

• Several times when I've been ill and struggling to cope on my own with DD they've hopped on the train and travelled 4 hours in a day just to come and help out and take DD out for a few hours

She - and he - ROCK

[cory]

Whenever my own dcs seem particularly lovely, kindly to other people, eager to socialise and make friends, willing to see the funny side even in the darkest times, I smile and nod to myself and murmur "MIL's genes". . Or occasionally "MIL's example". Bless her

[frikonastick]

my mil was lovely to me for the first 10 years or so, we really got on great and i have always felt so lucky. but recently she has been a bit weird with me and then told DH that she doesnt think he should have married me and that she doesnt think he is happy (completely not true, for the record). he was gobsmacked and really upset about it. i have been very 'dont worry darling, its ok, im not taking personally, something is obviously going on with her' but truthfully i am devastated. sorry, bit of a downer but i do feel better for having written that down

[borderslass]

Can't stand my MIL after everything she's done however I adore FIL and SMIL unfortunately we don't see them enough due to distance but they phone us and we phone them regularly.

[Milkmade]

I've been known to tell my husband that I might have picked well when I picked a husband, but I chose excellently in my choice of MIL

[MeddlesomeRatbag]

I have to say I also have a brilliant MIL. She is kind and helpful, and there for me if I need her. Our DD is her only living female relative (MIL was an adopted only child and never knew her birth family), and her children are all boys. She adores my DD and DD loves her too. She is scatty, can't cook to save her life, is super-indulgent to DD, has an honours degree in Philosophy, and a degree in Mental Health Nursing (which she never tells anyone about) She makes me laugh, listens to me when I am down, doesn't take sides when me and DH have an argument and I love her to pieces.

I would be lying if I said that some of the things she has said and done in the past 12 years haven't pissed me off, but then my own Mam is the same, and I know I can be an arsehole too. We are all only human after all.

I am watching DD grow up, and I can see traits of my MIL in her, and it makes me very happy (For one, she will grow up tall like her and not short and dumpy like me)

YANBU. My MIL is one of my best friends. I wish MIL's didn't get such a bad press sometimes.

[jellybeans]

My MIL is very domineering and aggressive. FIL is lovely though (they are not together). Good to read there are some nice MILs though, you are so lucky!!!

[TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle]

i love my mil, we are very close and she looked after me when ds and i came out of hospital. she even helped me dress and in and out of the bath.

[BexieID]

My MIL to be is lovely too. Which is really good as my mum is 400 miles away and I miss her.

[Lonnie]

I too have a lovely wonderful MIL after 15 years of knowing her we have had 2 disagreements thats pretty good going esp as neither were anything big.

I got introduced to some of her friends and as mil walked out to get a cup of tea one of them said ohh (mils name) is for ever telling us what a wonderful mother you are how can you not love a woman whom say stuff like that behind your back?

we went on holiday together when I went to Denmark for my nieces confirmation with my dd1 and 2 she came along and I sharred a hotel room with her without any issue I was sick towards the end geetting us home and she took over looking after the girls and generally she does what she can to help

She is 83 now and an eldery lady but as my youngest is now 6 I know that all of my children will grow up remembering their lovely grandma

I could not ask for a better mil

[MissFlowers]

This thread is lovely and has sparked a light on in my head.

I fell pregnant after only 5 months with DP. I had a bad relationship with my parents so have been very independent from an early age. DP and his folks are close and I found it very suffocating when DS was born that they were round all the time, but now I realise they just love him to bits and want to help us as a family. I guess I just don't understand what it is to have a close loving relationship with parents. I realise I should be lucky that they adore my DS and what I thought was interfering is just normal concern and enthusiasm to be involved with their grandson.

And her meat & potato pie is the best ;-)

[flootshoot]

mine's bloody amazing. She never sticks her nose in, she always helps us out (when DS was born she turned up, helped me get him to sleep and then while I napped she cleaned my kitchen and put a shepherds pie in the oven, and then left), DS adores her.

She doe shave three black belts though so I shouldn't really say anything bad anyway!!