to tell my kids the truth instead of lying ?

[noitwasntme]

My kids are very young, but I dont read them stupid romantic love stories like Cinderella, at night becuase I know its false and most of the time Cinderella does not live happily ever after,im not bitter im in a relationship for 20years not married but happy anyway.
I will grow with my children and tell them the truth about life,sex and relationships and still set boundries because I feel that is very important in life,im not claming Im perfect im not we all have problems and live and love is never easy, I know i will have problems thats life but how much do you protect your children really?.
Like most mums I want my children to be happy,but not fill them with stupid nonsence that they aspire to be these days like I want to be Cheryl Cole ,Jordan etc.
How about being you and being proud of who you are and achieving your dreams and ambitions not having a dream that requires a man to give us the happy ending?. Im not saying dont find someone, im just saying have your own dreams as well ,aibu Im waiting to be told im am.

[sungirltan]

i think ya a tiny b u but i can kind of see where you're coming from. i have big issues with disney. i won't let anyone buy dd disney things because the whole disney princess crap is so offensive to me (and that they change the endings to classic literature) but i can't ban it forever. she will see it at friends/family houses etc - i'm just not going to shove it down her throat myself

[madcatsazz]

TBH OP, I never set out to read these stories to DD but she kind of found them herself anyway. One of her friends is princess crazy and you can't get away from Disney princesses anyway so you may find you change your views anyway. They don't know the meanings this young anyway. DD certainly doesn't comprehend 100 years asleep, nor does she care. She just loves the pretty dresses and the sparkles. You'll never stop them finding cinderella so I wouldn't waste my time getting het up about it - plenty of other things to worry about!

[KickArseQueen]

Then maybe your dcs will grow up to be amazing authors of pro female fantasy!

Anne mccaffery wrote a superb book called restoree in respnse to the weak and feeble females in films and on screen at the time.

I think you need to stop being so absurd about Cinders, she's a good girl sticking around to look after that miserable old bag and the ugly chicks!

Anyway - the story of sleeping beauty should have forewarned you that you can ban your entire kingdom of Cinderella books, but if your dc are fated to read it - they will.

You may hate it but at some point you will probably end up reading it every night for a month.

[noitwasntme]

My sister has a traditionally male job which is great, what makes me cross is women are so pathetic in stories it annoys me thats all and I hate reading about it.

[JaneS]

YABU to be so naive/literal about fairy tales.

[Dancergirl]

YABU

Fairy tales are fairy tales. Escapism. If children are read fairy tales it doesn't mean they will believe them and think life is all about happy ever after. They've got years ahead to work that out. I completely agree with justmytwopenceworth - childhood should be filled with magic and escapism. My children read fairy stories, sexist Enid Blyton and even, shock horror, original Noddy books with golliwogs in them. They're not to end up as adults with a rose-tinted view on life, nor are they going to grow up to be racist or sexist because of how we bring them up.

It's like saying girls shouldn't play with barbies or sindy dolls because they'll get a distorted view of how women's bodies should look like. Little girls don't think like that - they're JUST DOLLS! They're far more influenced by their mother's attitude to body shape, diet and exercise than a few dolls.

Just of of interest, do YOU never read fantasy books or watch rom-com films?

[AMumInScotland]

I think the important thing is not to just read your children stories where a passive girl waits for a man to fix her life for her. But if you pick a wide variety of books and stories for your children, it doesn't matter if one or two of them have that message. Books are like food in that respect - it's not that some foods are good and some are bad, you need a healthy varied diet with all things in moderation!

[noitwasntme]

Winkywinkla im agreeing with you because I add my own twist . Im not slating anyone else, I just dont always agree with the endings thats all and dont mean to offend or upset anyone.

[charmander]

Well lots of Enid Blyton is very sexist so I would avoid that like the plague if you are worried about Cinderella.

[TheHeathenOfSuburbia]

Beauty and the beast always annoyed me as a child; the bloody moral of the story is don't judge by appearances...but the only point of Beauty is her looks.
So the actual moral is, only men can get away with being ugly. This may indeed be true, but is not good to have rubbed in when you're a more than averagely unattractive girl.

[noitwasntme]

Im not telling anyone your a bad parent, all Im saying is should i add some truth to it like they kived happily and she went onto work and still had what she desired.

[noitwasntme]

I have no problem with Enid Blyton the Faraway Tree,Tooth Fairy, Santa etc.
I just think Cinderalla awating for Prince charming is lame, anyone can have a size 6 anyone could of fitted into the glass slipper and prince charming does not make happy ever after,not all stepmothers are bad ,some are very good in real life . What does that say?.

Beauty and the Beast she sacrificed her love for her father for a man or Beast she did not know now and loved him for who is really was, thats real love.

Bella in Twilight pathetic,lost without a man who was abusive and this is not what I want my dd to aspire to, this is surely not what life is about?.

[Ivykaty44]

of you go and write a story of woe and fear, thats best to prepare them for life

[PrettyCandles]

YABU. Idealistic, but YABU.

Even if you lived in a bubble on a deserted island you would not be able to insulate your dc from fantasy. Will you critcise every outside influence which is fantastical or sexist? Will you squash their flights of fancy?

Or will you present a ballanced counter view? Help them to develope and use their imaginations, help them to know what to believe and what to trust?

[Monty100]

[expatinscotland]

YABU.

Very much so.

[larks35]

my DS is very young(16mo) and I don't actually read anything to him at this time. We have great fun with books (pointing, making noises, ripping turning pages etc.) I'm looking forward to reading fairy tales, whats wrong with Chicken Licking, 3 Little Pigs, Gingerbread Man and other Grimm tales? They're usually quite grisley and always engaged my imagination when I was small. Cinderella ain't the only fairy tale in town FGS! Don't deny your little ones a good ol' slightly scarey Grimm tale!

[OrmRenewed]

How old are your children OP?

[MaureenMLove]

When they are very little, is not the time to be worrying about lasting impressions fgs!

DD loved all the usual stories about love and happy ever after. It's wrong to not let them enjoy them imho!

[moominmarvellous]

Fairytale girls have their problems too; being trapped in towers/injured/kicked out of home/kept as slaves/poisoned - it's not all rosy

They overcome all these problems, and make valuable friendships with mice and squirrels before they meet the prince.

I think fairytales do teach children about life, in a way they can understand in and age appropriate format.

You can always change the end so Cinderella gets a massive promotion rather than Prince Charming?

[blinks]

YABsooooooooooooooooooooooooogoddamU.

[Sassybeast]

Damn - that's where I've been going wrong all these years. Yunno I've ALWAYS thought Cinders was real and now I'll have to stop sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet

What do you read them instead of fairy tales ? Presumably you stick to non fiction given that the gruffalo and stuff aren't real ?