To be annoyed that a mum who is ill with swine flu sent her son (7) over to our house to play?

[QuintessentialShadows]

My youngest is 4, and was diagnosed with Asthma when he was one years old. He has been admitted to hospital on several occasions with breathing problems when he has a cold. Colds normally turn into pneumonia for my son.

I only got to know about it when I called her to let her know her son was at ours. We had been chatting for nearly 15 minutes when she casually told me she was on tamiflu as she had been in bed with swineflu since sunday.



I told her I would send her son out to play, as my youngest is in a risk group. But she knows this!

[madamearcati]

There are many reasons for not getting a vaccine other than not being bothered !!
I can understand why you are worried for your DS but lets hope that if he didn't succomb when it was in his preschool ,he isn't going to get it.
However I still don't think it is reasonable to contain a child who is showing no symptoms.

[QuintessentialShadows]

The playdate hadnt been arranged. The boy turned up surprisingly, as his mum had urged him to just go play at ours. He lives on our street.

islandofsodor, I find it strange that you have so little empathy for others who have young children with the same ailment as you yourself have. Maybe because you are so well with it? Maybe beause the illness does not terrify you, as you have lived with it so long. Maybe because you were never your own mum - and worried about a child?

Like my neighbours, they are in their late fourties, both smoke, both have asthma, and neither can be bothered to get the vaccine. Clearly not overly worried about their own health.

[islandofsodor]

No, it wouldn't have occured to me. I have serious asthma myself.

[weblette]

If you knew someone's ds had serious asthma would you have checked though island of sodor?

[islandofsodor]

Well it would honestly not have occored to me to check with anyone before sending my dc over to play, if the playdate had already been arranged.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Her son has not had it, yet.

Yes my son is in school, and most likely it will be him who brings it to our house. However, my oldest has been unaffected by any cold or tummy bug going for the last year and a half, he has been of very good health, and I am therefore not worried about him.

My youngest is in a small group in his preschool. There were 3 confirmed cases of swineflu in his school back in the beginning of September. It was contained in this one class, and it did not spread beyond those three children. The staff are very good at sending sick kids home. This automn, I have not seen even ONE runny nose.

I can assure you that I am not pfb-ish, but I am worried for my youngest son, as I have seen how bad it can get for him. He has had breathing problems since he was born, and was so bad with bronchiolitis at 6 months I had to take him to the doctors twice a day to sit on a nebulizer. The same again 3 months later, and at 1 year. The noises he made as he was trying to breathe put the fear of God in me. I dont want him to get swine flu.

Especially not now, as I have to be away for next week helping my sister face her ex husband in court over access. This is just another worry, my dh alone with two kids, in a country where he is not able to fully communicate as his Norwegian is quite rudimentary. I would not be so worried if I was here too. But as it is, 13 people have already died from SF here, and most of them kids, and this is a population of only 5 million. ...

[cory]

It's the thoughtlessness in this particular case.

OF course if the OPs ds is at school he will be meeting people every day who have been in close contact with somebody with swine flu- you can't expect schools to be closed indefinitely while the epidemic is doing the rounds.

But in this instance, the mum didn't have to send her son over to play without making a quick phone call first; it would have been the courteous thing to do.

[twolittlekings]

I think it affects people differently. I have a friend who works in the high dependency unit of a major kids hopital and when the families of kids with SF werew swabbed back in the summer some of them only had mild symptoms such as low grade fever and sore throat and yet tested positive.

This is why I think it's a nasty flu - noone knows for sue how you will react.

[madamearcati]

Maybe her DS has already had it. It could easily have been he who infected huis mum.
I think YAB a bit U and PFBish unless you have been keeping your DS in isolation since SF first hit the UK

[Stripycat23]

YANBU. I wouldn't have been very happy either. I believe that in most cases SF won't be a problem but for some it definitely will be a problem. Your neighbour was thoughtless.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

se like my dh

think thats half the problem, both went back to work before they should have - but needs must

[islandofsodor]

He is a peri teacher and doesn;t get paid when he doesn't work so had to go back as soon as he was able to/not likely to be infectious

[Blondeshavemorefun]

true

i had real flu once

and was in bed for 5 days, crawled to toilet on hands and knees

hope dh feels better soon

[islandofsodor]

Dh was in bed for over a week, and two weeks later is still not right. He ended up with a secondary lung infection. I have not known him so ill since he was nearky hospitalised with tonsillitus a couple of years ago.

He didn't get the Tamiflu due to the possible side effects and the fact that it doens't really lessen the effects anyway. The doctor said he may have had it but it may also have been normal flu.

Someone I know had confirmed swine flu right at the start of the outbreak (was swabbed) and had it very mild, thought it was just a hangover and was only tested as his best mate had it and they had both just got back from LA.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

yanbu

mum is ill and infectious, her dc could be a carrier

your dc will be prone to chest infections

islandofsodor - you say you think dh had it,my brother and friend both had swine flu,both very ill with it, and in bed for over a week and weak for 2 weeks afterwards,both had tamiflu

sounds to me as if your dh had a bad cold,just as my dh had/has

if you or your dh did think he had swine flue, why didnt you give him tamiflu?

[Conundrumish]

YANBU - also can't see why people wouldn't be contagious without symptoms - surely you are with most viruses?

[islandofsodor]

YABU. We think dh just had it. Not 100% sure as they arn't testing and he didn;t bother with Tamiflu. The children's lives carried on as normal, we didn't even bother to tell most people.

I had severe asthma as a child and dd has had a few do's as a toddler.

[Thingiebob]

No you are not being unreasonable.

I would be FURIOUS especially as your child is so vulnerable.

Hopefully your child wasn't at risk.

[twolittlekings]

Wannabe - I agree but choice is the key here. The lady was thoughtless......phone before not after if you please.

[wannaBe]

I think yabu a bit, sorry.

He's not ill. And while I can sort of see your anxiety, reality is that your ds is probably coming into contact with people on a daily basis whose parents/siblings/family members have swine flu.

Would you expect people to keep their children off school as well even if they weren't ill?

[Twintummy]

YANBU

I'd be fuming. My DD has a very serious heart condition and I live in dread of her getting it.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Thanks for sympathy. Good to hear I am not unreasonable.

I am not scared of swineflu per se, not for me, not for ds1, but it is different with ds2. I am just hoping his vaccine will kick in and protect him before the rest of us get it.

[weblette]

YANBU at all - I'm in a very similar position to twolittlekings with 5yo ds2 and bricking this winter Very thoughtless of her since she knows about your son's asthma.

I know what people say about when it becomes contagious and blah but when you've seen your child in a severe attack caused by the tiniest cold, the prospect of them developing SF sends reason out of the window. Does with me anyway...

[twolittlekings]

I know that not everyone gets it even if you are in close contact, and it can be very mild for some and not others and that you can't wrap kids up in cotton wool, but if it was me I would have wanted her to call me BEFORE to ask me if it was ok - I would have then had the choice to say no.

[mummyofevilprincesses]

When I was so ill with swine flu I could hardly get out of bed, my friends all rallied round, taking turns to get the girls from school, taking them home for tea and a play then bringing them back just before bedtime. I am so grateful to them, it made it so much better for my children. This was 2 weeks ago now, and my children haven't caught it from me.