to be beyond LIVID with my DH for getting 'off his face' last night? [sad]

[chosenone]

I'd be surprised if any of you think I'm BU but want to clear my head before he comes home from work! DH went out with a few mates last night and said he wouldn't be too late as he had work today, I was expecting midnight ish. However, he has on several occasions let me down by rolling in 3am ish totally incoherent. Don't get me wrong I go out too at least once a month and occasionally stay out until 1 or 2 ish, but I never take drugs and don't get completely wasted on alcohol either! I feel strongly that now we're a family, days wasted lying around on the couch due to a hangover are pretty much over, the odd lazy day after a birthday party/wedding etc fine but as a regular occurence, I don't think so!

Anyway last night woke up for the loo at 2am and realised DH wasn't home, rang him and had to cajole him home, when he got in he was totally out of it and acting very strangely! He admitted he'd had some magic mushrooms with some of his friends and was tripping his head off, he seemed quite scared, so I made him safe and went back to bed. This unusual and the 1st time he's taken anytyhing like this for years, he a really good dad and DH normally but does go a bit wild on a night out and goes OTT.

However, what's made this worse is I've had a really shite couple of weeks with my brother who has been a serious drug addict off and on for years, My parents have more or less disowned him, he's signed off work and its been awful! My DH seemed to be looking after me and supporting me but then he goes out and takes drugs!! I feel like leaving him and this town and focusing on being a mum without worrying about bloody drugs! Well done if you've read this!

[OrmIrian]

" My DH seemed to be looking after me and supporting me but then he goes out and takes drugs!! "

Well it's not great but perhaps he needed a break too. I wouldn't be 'beyond livid' for a single occasion TBH. BTW how do you get beyond livi - I rarely have the energy to reach livid....

[alwayslookingforanswers]

oh fgs - I have acknowledge on THIS THREAD that 20yrs ago things were different. Of course they were. You took speed - it was speed, you knew what was going to be in it, and had a pretty good idea what the effects would be - you don't know what extras will be in the speed today - and not just things to dilute - stuff to make it "better".

I'm talking the here and now, 20yrs ago people left right and centre were standing with fags hanging out of their mouths thinking they were cool, drinking was cool. Times change.

This was something I knew before the events of the last 5 weeks, it was just something I thought was a bit of an urban myth. You can't argue with the increase in numbers of people hospitalised because of drug use or the increasing number that are admitting to using stuff stronger than weed.

So what - big deal you did drugs 20yrs ago.

Something that was "safe" or normal 20yrs ago doesn't make it automatically just as safe now (unprotected shagging around in the 60's/70's anyone?).

Despite your insistence that I don't see from the other side - I do - but you seem to fail to miss that point. I've spent the majority of my life looking at it from the other side. I was a goody two shoes as a teenager - only smoking mbanje in Zimbabwe and nothing more, but many of my peers did much more - I didn't see the harm in it.
They were all fine (presume they all are now) -

I've read the articles over the last decade about the increased dangers of new drugs/drugs being laced with other stuff, more people becoming ill from it, increase in recognition of the increase in mental health issues in those that have used it.

Nah - was all a myth.......until 5 weeks ago, and the subsequent discovery that more people are admitted to the pysch unit that DH was in because of issues related to drugs than for any other reason!.

But of course it's all fairy tales because 20yrs ago things were ok.

but of course I only see it in one dimension .

[Tortington]

not big drug fan.

so i would have been pissed off

[alwayslookingforanswers]

what they used in the 80's/90's was stronger??

ok - many would argue with that, Ecstasy use has dropped, but the number of deaths has risen. And cba to search for any others - that was just the first one I found with a quick google.

I have crops to harvest on my online farms .

[chosenone]

Thanks for the messages and views. and the general discussion on drug use and alcohol use I have calmed down a bit now and he is very remorseful, tbh most of it is linked to my brothers drug issues. I have used drugs pre children and never had a habit in the same way that I only ever smoked cigarettes 'socially'. Therefore drugs were never a big issue to me. However to see what IV use of amphetamine and Cocaine has done to my brother has made me anti drugs to the extreme! The hold drugs and drink can have over people is scary and heartbreaking to watch. I am a teacher and in a one to one with a tutee the other day the 13 year old ended up sobbing about her 19 year old brothers addictions and how its wrecked her family, I nearly ended up sobbing with her! DH has been very silly and I am making him make it up to me but i'm going nowhere! Thanks

[corriefan]

He's said sorry and sent flowers and a card! That's lovely and he's realised what he's done. I have a hippy friend like that and it is hard to say no to her (wrt getting off one's face)

[alwayslookingforanswers]

tbh I think the dangers of drugs are going to take another generation or two (or three) to sink in. People used to think that there was no harm in binging on alcohol and walking around with a fag in your mouth the whole time.

Now the dangers of binge drinking/alcoholism seem to be more accepted (although still plenty of people that seemed to have missed that part of their education), people know that smoking is bad for you.

Perhaps "recreational" drug use by the masses (I'm thinking 60/70's) is still too recent for people to accept the dangers. I don't think some people have quite grasped that it's not like it was when we were teenagers, drugs are not just a "little thing" anymore, they're the mainstay of the criminal world, here anything goes, who cares if it's stronger/more dangerous/more chemicals that what used to be used. They've got nothing to lose.

There is more evidence these days of the longer term effects of many/most of these drugs on mental health.

But that's ok.......because when we all did it 20yrs ago we were fine .

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

lol Colder could you don the same black eyes and come to my party next saturday.....could do with a real life halloween ghost for ultimate effect...

[bodycolder]

m and s do a bottle of merlot 9% hangover free!I can literally remember the feeling I was like a halloween ghost shuffling around wailing with big black eyes NEVER AGAIN!Although london early 90s was great fun

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

TSC I shall be avoiding Mulled Wine then lol

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Ohh Colder thats a hangover from hell!!! I remember the only alcohol induced hangover I ever had was due to 3 a bottle of red wine.

[ElenorRigby]

YANBU to be livid with him. However I think its a bit OTT to consider leaving him over this if this is a rare occurrence and he's normally supportive a good dad etc.
I think you have understandably been affected by what has happened with your brother and so have over reacted a little.
He's already been remorseful, I think you two need to sit down and have a long talk.

[alwayslookingforanswers]

the thing is though drugs when we were teenagers 10-20yrs ago and nothing like they are now. They're stronger, it's a more global market all types of shit gets imported into the country and mixed with your "regular" drugs.

It's a whole different ball game these days.

And taking magic mushrooms - unless you know your mushrooms is just plain stoopid regardless of the drugs aspect - get the "wrong" mushroom and you're dead

[bodycolder]

Agree with tsc In many ways the substance is irrelevant its the state you're in that matters!I have fely like death literally a few times on red wine but never experienced anything close on 'drugs'.

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

TSC, I didn't mean it was big or clever in fact looking back it was one of the worst times of my life....I was trying to escape from the reality of things I was having to face at the time.....

Fast forward to now...i drink the odd bottle glass of wine and thats it.

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Cordon, I have to agree there although it was a bit longer than 3 days i took it for....was nasty coming down from that....mind you I have never had a hangover from alcohol yet.

[cordonbleugh]

glad you haven't experienced a bad speed comedown then! That was waaaay worse that a hangover IME, you can get over a hangover with food and sleep and rehydration.

Coming down from speed took 3 days, completely fucked with my head etc.

Maybe I was just unlucky!!

OP, YANBU by the way!

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

TSC......London in the 90's??? well thats where I was at and bar smack been there done that.

[Twintummy]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. He made it into work, he seems sorry. He wasn't around the kids.