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AIBU?

to be upset that DP

28 replies

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 17:55

posted comment's, about a woman posting nearly naked suggestive pics of herself on a website...
"You are hot" "I would like to wake up to see you like that in the morning "

OP posts:

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scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 20:43

i think you already know the answer,think you know he is a git

i am observing the flat affection. kind of broken that comes over.not a criticism just observation

i am not advocating hand wringing and disclosure.but stiff upper lip is applicable to social situations not violence

do you have children?

seeyounexttuesday · 11/10/2009 20:33

you need to get out of that relationship and fast. What will you be like a few years down the line. What about any kids. Think how he could be with them if he treats you like this.

Whether you love him or not, you need to do the right thing.

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 20:26

of course my posts are flat and understated, I am not a hysterical type of person.
my family taught me to be controlled, not wash yours in public and so on.

btw is it controlling when someone has a go at you, when you raise a question unrelated?

he has often had a go (eg today I dont clean the kitchen right) when I raise a problem about something of his (ie perving) but later so it is not obviously related iyswim

OP posts:

PoppyDeLaFoof · 11/10/2009 19:14

I'd be more pissed off with the assault than the perving.

There is nothing less dignified or more demoralising than staying with someone who doesn't love you, especially if you love them. And he clearly doesn't. Love is an action, not words. What do his actions say?

How sad that you place such little value on yourself and your happiness- I hope you find a way to change this.

Wonderstuff · 11/10/2009 19:05

Do you think your sister is right?

Do you really want to live like this?

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 18:53

no amount of anyone else advising or telling you to go will compel you to leave. you will only leave when you feel able to

your posts are very flat and understated.

when you were a wee girl thinking of your partner, did you envisage a bullying and violent man

nope

so what happened?how did you end up here with him?

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 11/10/2009 18:52

0808 2000 247 - Womens Aid helpline, if you want to chat with someone OP.

FABIsInTraining · 11/10/2009 18:51

It isn 't patheitc to think you love someone.

What is a little bit is thinking you don't deserve better.

AnyFuleKno · 11/10/2009 18:51

hmm, as long as he paid for the osteopath, fairs fair

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 11/10/2009 18:50

He paid for your session with the osteopath? Oh that alright then .

Was that the first time he's assaulted you?

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 18:49

well.you will undoubtedly feel his fists again.maybe next time he will pay the dentist when he knocks your teeth out?

do you have children to they witness domestic abuse

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 18:49

My sister thinks he could kill me in a bout of anger and wants me too leave.

OP posts:

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 18:47

I love him. sounds pathetic I know

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 18:45

a little strained is verbal argument.not getting assaulted

you seem very detached,more animated about the nudey pictures comments than getting a doing

do you check up on him,his internet activities?

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 18:45

he put my neck/back out but has paid for one session with my oesteopath

OP posts:

PoisonToadstool · 11/10/2009 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FABIsInTraining · 11/10/2009 18:26

Why are you still with him?
He assaulted you. That should be a deal breaker, especially with this extra charming behaviour.

Wonderstuff · 11/10/2009 18:23

He recently assulted you, now he's publically perving over other women on the net...
Doesn't sound like he has a great deal of respect for you.

HeSaysSheSays · 11/10/2009 18:19

Lal, I wouldn't be worried about her I would be worried about him being disrespectful to anyone - regardless of how they are dressed or how much they appear to be inviting it.

Saying that you can say anything you like because she is dressed a certain way just takes everyone down to the lowest common denominator. I would want my husband to behave better than that regardless of her actions.

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 18:18

We are a little strained since he assaulted me about 2-3 weeks ago.

OP posts:

whoever1111 · 11/10/2009 18:15

He had had a drink at the time just after midnight but not enough to be drunk.

We both have seen her on that website but don't know her personally

OP posts:

InMyLittleHead · 11/10/2009 18:14

How old is he, 14? Ew. YANBU. It's insulting to you (and possibly her).

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lal123 · 11/10/2009 18:14

wouldn't worry about him being disrespectful to her! What does she expect if she posts nearly nude photos??

HeSaysSheSays · 11/10/2009 18:12

Well it does not sound like he has done anything with her does it - ie it would be "I liked waking up with that in the morning" and so on.

I would be cross but mostly about the fact that he was being so disrespectful in general - to me and her!

bigchris · 11/10/2009 18:07

is it someone he knows

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