To dislike it when crowds of rowdy teenagers gather in parks designed for SMALL children?

[poshsinglemum]

I know they are bored and don't have any youth clubs to go to and blah de blah de blah but I felt intimidated when I took my dd (15 months) to the park today.
There was a tiny group of three teenagers but they were throwing around a litre bottle of coke which was spraying everywhere and they found it HILARIOUS.
Thay were making a lot of noise for a small group and there were loads of tiny tots around.
Why can't they bugger off to the skate park and leave the liitleuns alone? I would have said something if I didn't think i'd get stabbed. . If they must then do it at night. Not in the day with teenies around.

[savoycabbage]

YABU. They are children in a park.

[barbarianoftheuniverse]

I think there should be parks for big kids. Teens also like to swing and climb- possibly more than 15month olds.
Also the playground that you did not want them in used to be their playground. Perhaps in their minds it still is.

[troutpout]

yabvu..sorry
I feel so sorry for teenagers . Nobody wants them do they.? We just don't even want to see them out and about anywhere and then we would also look down our noses at those that just sat infront of the tv all day.

Yep...cos toddlers never make noise do they?
'Not being thoughtful' goes with the terriotory Posh. They are still learning...they are just kids.

Your toddler will be a big one soon Posh (it goes sooo fast!). Tbh even by the age of about 6 years, mothers of little ones will start tutting at your 'big one' on the slide...you had better be prepared for it.

[MintyCane]

These kids do sound a bit much. However, my dd1 is very very tall for her age. When she was nine a woman in the park asked me to take her out of the play area because she is "clearly a teenager and too old". DD was very upset about it. She was quietly having a go on the swings at the time and the park was almost empty. Now at 12 people think she is about 16 people are rude to her in shops and behave as if she might steal. Elderly people have sworn at her for standing on a pavement. They are still little kids inside usually lovely and not going to hurt your little one.

[MintyCane]

have you tried the minto thing with coke ?

[MintyCane]

BTW if you told them to stop because they were upsetting the little kids they would probably be really embarassed and say sorry. Very unlikely to stab you

[acebaby]

There were some teenagers sitting in the playhouse in the park near us the other day. I wasn't particularly bothered by them, but they did leave quite quickly when DS1 assumed they were there to play and started assigning them all roles. Playing house with a 4yo probably wasn't what they had in mind!

Seriously though - i have no problem with teenagers in parks if they are just sitting round having a bit of banter. But if they start kicking a ball around in the baby part of the park (aimed at under 4s) or riding bikes, I just ask them to be careful and watch out for the toddlers (in the same way I would with any child, including my own DS1). I also ask them not to smoke near the babies even though they are outside (I admit to being a bit unreasonable and precious about that!).

It is tough being a teenager in a village and I am sympathetic, but not to the extent of letting them ruin my toddler's fun.

[verytiredmummy]

I feel sorry for teenagers too. We often have kids hanging about in our local park but they're no bother and will always move off the swings if they see a little one wants to have a go. I definitely think the OP should just have asked them to move or stop chucking the bottle.

But, in the same park, there's often a group of older lads - I'd say 18 or 19 - who ride trail bikes up and down the grass and take it in turns to drive their cars very fast around the very small car park. I hate them because I hate that I can't just let my toddler run when we get to the park in case he gets hit by an idiot on a trail bike. They've been reported but the police just send PCSOs down. Last time I saw them there, the PCSOs were playing with someone's dog, while the group of older lads rode their bikes on the grass.

[Stigaloid]

YABU - not all teenagers are thugs with knives and parks are for kids up to the age of 16, not just your precious tot. If you don't like it - leave.

[lanismum]

There are always teens in our park, usually they are fine, have asked some to stop swearing in front of the kids before, no probs, once a group of boys were writing on the swing frame, my 2 year old told them, pens are for PAPER they looked suitably shamed.........only time I have ever left because of them is when a girl of around 14/15 was sitting on the swings holding a flick knife screaming into her mobile that she was going to 'stab up' someone who was on their way to the park, in my area its entirely possible she actually was....

[smoking2shoes]

have to say I am not surprised that teens have no respect for "adults" when they treat them with such contempt

[zebramummy]

yes - that is why we only go during school hours - although there are a few hoodies and 'young couples bunking off' more often than not. i try not to get too territorial about it because it is only a matter of time before ds gets to that age. i must say that i object to them sitting on top of the park bences rather than on the bench.

the funniest thing was when ds had just started talking - he 'joined them' at the top of a vv high slide so i had no option but to go up there too. he said: 'Mum, there's the Fat Controller' - unfortunately the hoodie did look like him and all his friends were sniggering. i was praying that he would not display any aggressive retaliation towards ds 20 ft off the ground!

most recently, a group of them had formed a den among the trees and were discussing whom they were 'cheating on' - ds (now 4) crept up from under a branch and sat down on a tree stump within their circle and i had to use every trick in the book to quickly encourage his exit without 'causing offence'.

[zebramummy]

would also add that you would have to be a bit of a saddo to hang around in kids playgrounds at that age - i dont doubt that the real gangstaz are still sleeping off last night at that time of day

[poshsinglemum]

I don't hate teens and like I said there are skate parks for them but throwing a litre bottle of cokes around toddlers is not the same as just squirting it. Thet are old enough to know that they could cause an accident.
If teens came and played nicely fair enough. After all, when I'm with dd I try and get her to act nicely.
The difference is that teens are not supervised. Toddlers are.
Im all for skate parks and proper adventure playground for big kids.
I have been known to go down slides even at my age although I do make sure I will not squash teenies.

[poshsinglemum]

i did say i was in the wrong about the stabbing comment and why should i leave because of the thuggish behaviour of others.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

You know, we solved our local issue with teenagers having nothing to do in the park except play in the little kids bit by providing them with some decent stuff of their own in the park. Since we did that there have been no issues.

I asked the teenagers hanging around what they would actually like and the answer was not youth clubs or anything big like that. they wanted something to climb on, an area so they could play football or whatever and something to sit on. So thats what we gave them. As they use it I presume they like it.

[carocaro]

They sometimes for that here, and although the look scary, I have always said 'come on guys are you 7? time for the kids now' and they have always moved. In the Summer hols a few scary looking hoody lads engaged all the boys at the swings in a great game of foooty!

[OrmIrian]

Funny thing in our town is that there is nothing for older kids at all. There are toddlers play grounds and playrounds for older children but they are clearly meant for kids up to age 10/12. Older than that nowt? Pool has been closed down. Skate park that has been promised for 20 yrs is about to appear but in very reduced form. Kids not allowed to skate anywhere else and get threatened by the police if they do. So if they can't actively do anything they are likely to hang around and be a pita. Teenagers more than children have to be not seen and not heard.

[barbarianoftheuniverse]

OYBK, how did you set about doing that? I am very interested. There is nothing for teens here at all- nowhere to climb or swing or have a natter, and they do not suddenly grow out of wanting to when they are 12.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Can I cat you barbarian?

[Squishabelle]

Where I live they have built a few teenage 'shelters'. But these have all been vandalised/graffitied and are now eyesores. Renamed 'yob shelters'.

[junkcollector]

I know they're annoying but I always assume that the real reason they're hanging about the play area is cos they're feeling slightly threatened or in need of the presence of 'mummys' themselves.

[Slambang]

My teen was in the park yesterday. He could even have been one of your coke bottle flingers.

Ds has just turned 13 and met up with friends in the local park on a teacher training day. By all accounts he says that 'half of the year' ended up meeting there.

No doubt they looked intimiidating.
No doubt they wore hoodies.
No doubt they shouted and laughed and horseplayed in a gawky teenage fashion.
I daresay they even drank coke and may have sprayed the stuff around idiotically.

I'm very sorry and would be very cross with ds if I thought he intimidated anyone or got in the way of toddlers wanting to use the swings.

But can I just assure you that ds and his friends

• are all polite and respectful to adults (if asked to move I'm sure they would blush, possible giggle and move fast)
• were all in constant touch with their parents who were double checking by phone where they were and who they were with
• were all toddlers on swings themselves just a few very short years ago and now are still bigger versions of those toddlers still with childish games and interests even if they look colossal

To be honest I was delighted that ds (who is shy and a lille bit of a small-group-of-close-friends type person) had a big gang of loud happy male and female friends to meet up with. Frankly apart from the park, in this town there is NOWHERE else for a group of teens to go.

Please please don't tar all teens with the scary delinquent chav brush just because they have long legs, bum fluff and laugh llike fog horns.

[Squishabelle]

Slambang I am sure that most parents 'think' that their dcs are being polite, respectful etc etc when out with friends. Reality can be very different.