to be fed up of DH's lunchtime expectations?

[PfftTheMagicDragon]

OK, first AIBU post, won't ask you to be gentle, I know better than that

We recently moved house and live a 15 minute drive from DH's work. Since we moved he has been coming home for lunch. Sometimes if I am making food I make him lunch, sometimes he makes it himself. He doesn't seem to mind.

The issue is that he seems to expect some sort of Stepford perfect home life during lunch time. He gets annoyed at me should I argue with him or cause any unrest. Today, we were discussing what shelves to put up in an alcove and I disagreed with him, he got all stroppy. Just before he was due to go back to work, I asked him if he was annoyed with me and he threw the oft-used (for the last few weeks at least) line of "I come home to spend time with you and you start having a go at me". Sometimes it's "I won't come home any more if it's going to be like this". I should point out that it was a vague disagreement on what type of shelves to use, not a tirade about his personality....

I said that I was getting a bit sick of these ridiculous expectations he seems to have of me producing some sort of serene haven for him to rest in at lunch and he wasn't doing me a favour by coming home. He walked out halfway through what I was saying.

I do plan to tell him not to bother coming home any more, it's rather grating watching what I say in case I annoy His Highness.

AIBU? I know this is a rather pathetic problem, writing it down makes it all seem so fucking petty......

[pointydoug]

Be somewhere else when he comes in, out at the shops, changing the bedding, anything. Don;t hang around just to have someone nark on at you. And it will stop any temptation you have to nark on at him.

Don;t make his lunch if he's happy to make his own.

Must admit, if I came home for lunch and dh told me about jobs that needed doing around the house, I'd go mad. I would be at home to get away from work and duties, not to be given more by my husband.

[PfftTheMagicDragon]

No, I agree, pointydog, I don't make him do jobs, or save things up for him! I meant that it is normal time as in I am here, if we are having a conversation and I disagree I'm not going to keep my mouth shut just because he wants his special quiet time. If he wants that he should go somewhere quiet

He brought up the issue about the shelves, we've just moved in so were talking about what we were going to do with an alcove whilst eating lunch. It then spiralled into other things.

You are right though, I should be doing something else and not make everything dependant on this lunch thing. We are still people independant of wach other, after all.

Herbie, I think that's what annoys me so much, he's bored and wants a break and wants me to be happy and smiley, which I get, but it's not always the case and I resent the implication that I should put on a front. I would mention the fuel but work pay for that.

Maybe I should throw him a blow job

[Ivykaty44]

Go with the blow job - bound to keep him happy and at least that way you cant have a row

[Pikelit]

I like the occasional breeze through between local meetings that dp attends because a brief coffee break and the chance of him taking the dog down the road for a late morning Tom Tit can suit nicely. I do find him a downright distraction on the day of the week he doesn't go into work though. He looms about like a demand about to happen and certainly has difficulty recognising when I'm working. Even though I do this work in my very own room dedicated to the purpose and furnished accordingly.

Thankfully he doesn't seem to want feeding.

[trickerg]

I'd go out at lunchtime if I were you!