to be sympathetic but at the same time thinking it's their own fault

[mummygirl]

A couple we know seem to be allergic to car seats. They have three children, 3 months, 2 years and 3.5 years. With their first they were using a car seat in the car, but it was more of a container rather than a safety measure, aas the baby was not strapped in the seat.

They always claimed that it was all absolutely safe as they only do short trips within town at 30mph. Have they never heard/read any stats?

I saw the mum two weeks ago with all three children in the car: the little one in a moses basket at the front seat and the other two thrown at the back. Back windows open and the eldest hanging half out of the widnow while the two-year old was jumping up and down (it makes you wonder how can she drive with all this going on). I thought I'd never do this as it seems very dangerous, but each to their own when it comes to their kids.

Well, easy to say "each to their own", but certain laws are there to protect children from behaviours like this (although there are OTT child protection laws).

Three days ago we heard their DC2 is in hospital, we went to visit and found her in a right state. Someone jumped out of a crossroad, mum had to slam the breaks on and she flew from the back seat onto the windscreen (or so the story goes). Poor thing, it's face is smashed in, she will recover and they believe there's no long-term damage done (fingers crossed), but she'll have to stay there for some time.

I feel their pain, I'm very sad for them and have been supportive emotionally and practically. But I understand that they're very angry at the other driver and can't see AT ALL where they've gone wrong. This would have been a minor incident had the baby been in a carseat... But it looks liek they haven't learnt anything

AIBU to think they should accept responsibility and change habits re: carseats?

[groundhogs]

OP, you're in ITALY? Bloody hell the driving there is madder than anything in the UK - what does Italian law say about car seats?

Probably nothing you can do realistically, if you really are concerned about the safety of the kids, once LO is better, home and dust settled, to strongly point out that in any sane country seat belts and car seats are mandatory. These laws are for good reason, to save the lives and prevent injury to children.

If she doesn't react, (shudders to think) there's not realistically much more you can do. If Italian Law is likely to yield results, then report her.

[deaddei]

We have a huge Korean population where we live...and they just don't seem to realise that you have to strap children in! Lots of schools round here, many drive dcs to school, and they're all over the place on the back and front seats. Babies in arms in front seats....what do you do? Get the schools/churches to inform them?

[PeedArrrrrffWithNits]

people like this drive me mad, they are being so reckless with the things which should be most precious to them!

I saw a mum on the school run putting 2 kids into the boot the other day and telling them to keep down incase anyone saw them!

friends DH is a fireman, and he has seen the worst case scenario. he says some parents ought to be made to watch videos of the aftermath of accidents like they do with teens in drink driving ads

I've seen mums putting babies in car seats, but car seats not fastened into car

and I saw 2 parents and a child of about 8 in the front of a pick up truck, the 8 yr old had a baby of about 6 months on his knee

totally unfair onhim too because if anything happened to the baby he would feel to blame.

[francagoestohollywood]

Car seats are compulsory here in Italy. Shame that this seems to be ignored by at least 50% of the Italian population.
Not sure what the police will do

[pootle09]

That's fcuking irresponsible, not to mention illegal. I hope the police prosecute the stupid sods. Sorry for the strong language but this anecdote has made me very cross.

Hope their child recovers quickly.

[MmeLindt]

Poor children, I really hope that the parents have learned their lesson.

I don't know about Italy, but here in Switzerland many of the locals are extremely lax about car seats. We often see cars with DC piled in, like I remember from my childhood, 3 DC in the back, 4 DC in the boot.

I was completely shocked when we moved here, but there would have been no point reportign them to the police. The police don't seem to bother about it, I have never heard of anyone being stopped because their DC are not correctly secured.

[diddl]

Are car seats and being strapped in not the law in Italy then?

I would say the fact that the little girl hit the windscreen from the back seat would show that she wasn´t strapped in.

Maybe they are blaming the other driver as they know it is really their fault and they are embarrassed IYSWIM.

[abra1d]

'Tsar, I'd punch mil in the face'

I agree 100% with you that it's unbelievably lax and stupid to do this but punching her in the face

[francagoestohollywood]

Diddl, yes, they are the law. But it's often ignored. And the police doesn't do much. Just as they don't do much about people parking in the wrong places, going too fast etc etc. It is horrible.

[francagoestohollywood]

I wasn't expecting the swiss to be lax on this Lindt

[MmeLindt]

franca
We are in the French speaking part, right on the border to France in fact. I think that the German part is more strict about stuff like that.

They are incredibly strict about parking/speeding etc. Shame they don't invest so much time making sure that chidlren are safe.

Not so much money to be made, I guess.

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

So they're still not going to use car seats?

Bloody stupid fucking idiots! [furious] (angry doesn't cover it!)

Even if they are arrogant enough to assume they are fantastic drivers they are not alone on the road and have NO control over who comes along. Nobody sets out on a journey thinking "oh, I'll have an accident today". that's why they call them accidents!

I don't know how you are going to resist, when she gets angry about the other driver, saying "your child wouldn't have been injured if you had used a car seat."

Fecking idiot. Let's hope there's not a next time. Or if there is, it's not followed by a funeral.

[HerBeatitude]

God they sound like complete fuckwits.

There is just no arguing with some people, you have to give them up as a lost cause and anyone who says that they won't have an accident because they're a good driver belongs in that category.

[mummygirl]

Law is exactly the same as in UK.
the mum is Welsh, Italian dad.
People who think they won't have an accident are idiots. I'm also sick of hearing people going on about how they're always able to drive after drinking because alcohol doesn't affect them!!!!!!!!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Maybe they can't afford the seats? I am not defending them in the slightest by the way. If you can't afford to keep your children safe, either don't have as many or use public transport.

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Bollocks to not affording them.

I am sure they all have nice clothes, food, trips out, booze, etc etc.

[mummygirl]

Bollocks indeed. You can always budget differently when safety is a priority.

This particular family though is not short of cash.

[Stayingsunnygirl]

Please - as others have said, ring the police or social services and tell them about this. And I would also be tempted to tell them face to face, but then I am a stroppy cow.

I hope the little girl recovers soon - poor thing, her parents should be feeling like total sh*t right now! I am with Hecate - beyond furious.

[LittleWeePickle]

But wouldn't the hospital report this to SS?

They must know the details of the accident, so surely it would be their duty to report this?

Shocking though. How short sighted.

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Stupid Fucking idiots. Their baby could have been killed. Why are some people so stupid? Report them, you may well be saving a child's life.

[thumbwitch]

no YANBU at all. They are morons. Poor little thing, hope she is ok, but can't believe they haven't learnt from it - their car should be taken off them until they learn to parent responsibly.

[mummygirl]

OK, she called about 7.30 this morning and asked if I could her eldest for a couple of hours (her eldest and my middle one are in nursery together and they can play with each other for hours), as they had "things to sort out".
I picked up aroung 8.15 (it's 9 here atm) and I hang around for a few minutes talking to them, police has been around and asking questions, but they were very cagey (sp?) about it all. Now this is something particularly strange around here as it is a sunday -NOBODY works on a sunday in Italy (at least from what I've seen), even police do the bare minimum just to justify their salary... So I don't exactly what's going on. Let's wait and see..

Why did it have to come to this though?

[Ivykaty44]

Police in the uk can tell after an accident that children/adults were not wearing seat belts. It sticks out a mile as most do wear belts and the injuries are much diferent.

[bramblebooks]

As someone who went through a car windscreen as a baby (well before car seats) and am scarred for life I hope they get a good talking to and more of a shock than the awful thing that's happened to their child. If it comes to police action to make them do the right thing it's worth it.

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

I think if they are being cagey then the must have been bollocked for it.