to be terrified of my neighbours

[IHeartKittensAndWine]

This afternoon our cat was playing with her kittens next to our sitting room wall which we share with our neighbours. they were mewing and bleating, in the way that kittens do and our wall is a little thin, but I was a bit surprised to hear a voice shout out, "fucking shut it or I'll slit your fucking throat". I was a bit freaked out but think I might be suffering from early pregnancy paranoia and DH (who wasn't in the room) pointed out that they're always screaming and shouting at each other and probably wasn't even directed at us. DH then went out to a party, I ducked out (feeling terrible, tired and throwing up all the time), and was doing some work with music on. The neighbours had music on as well, and seemed to be having an argument as well.

About five minutes ago, heard the doorbell go, couldn't not answer it as you could see through the kitchen window that I was in, and it was the neighbour, apologising for their noise (something she has never done before), I said don't worry, barely heard a sound, and then she said how the kittens and our music had been disturbing her all evening and if it happened again, she'd "come over and smash my fucking face in".

If I weren't pg, this would be a joke, I am two feet taller and used to play womens rugby until we started ttc, but it really freaked me out. In the little we've had to do with them, they have always seemed strange (once I told her how kind her son was, for helping me down the stairs to the front door with heavy shopping and she told me "not to treat him like a fucking slave") but never directly threatening. I don't know if I'm making too much of it - got the distinct impression she'd had a few - but can't stop shaking.Thought about calling police but they won't pay attention, esp not on a Saturday, and we're buying our own place so hopefully moving out soon. Don't want to call dh and ask him to come home, he's been looking forward to tonight for weeks and felt really guilty for staying behind, but now I can't rest. I've put the kittens in the bedroom so the neighbours can't hear them, and keeping the telly on low. Probably just being emotional and feel really stupid for it (delicate pregnant woman) but don't know what to do.

[IHeartKittensAndWine]

DH is "having trouble getting a cab". Neighbours are blaring music and screaming at each other. God I know it'd be wrong to have a glass of wine, but I'm sorely tempted (even if I couldn't keep it down)

[LyraSilvertongue]

One glass will not hurt the baby. And if it calms you down, all the better for the baby.

[expatinscotland]

if they're blaring music and screaming at this hour, i'd call the police and report a domestic disturbance.

i can't stand ghetto thugs like this, having had to live near them for much of my adult life.

i think some people deserve to be homeless, tbh.

[savoycabbage]

I have had terrible and aggresive neighbours in the past. They were right next door and it took over our lives. we put fabric over all of our windows so that they couldn't see in.

My advice is to keep your head down until you can get out. Don't think about 'winning' or being right or reasonable or anything like that as that doesn't matter a bit. They are loons - or at least my neighbours were. With us it started like this and got worse and worse until I was scared to leave our house. I had to go out at the same time as my dh and come home with him too. They threatened to burn our house down in the middle of the night and all sorts.

We did get the police and they were no good at all. They said it was our word against his and offered us mediation! No thanks, he spat on our baby! They had a party the night that they got the letter saying that the CPS weren't going to charge him. It made it worse really as the police didn't do anything it became like a game for him.

It sounds like you are going to be able to move soon. I would keep a low profile, avoid them as much as possible, be quiet and smile in a friendly way if I did see them. I really would, because they are nuts and you can't reason with them.

[ChazsBarmyArmy]

You could call the noise patrol if you have one in the area. They are usually run by your local council.

Are you in private rented or social rented housing? If its social housing i.e. council or housing association and your neighbours also rent from them then you can put pressure through the social landlord.

However, having had really bad neighbours when we rented (we've now moved) my advice is in your situation keep your head down. Make a note of what happened today so if things do get unbearable in the next couple of weeks you have evidence that it is not a one off incident. Both DH and I were sworn at and threatened with physical violence. It was only when we provided the police and landlord with weeks of photos, noise patrol reports and diary records that any action was taken which did calm things down enough that we could hang in there until we moved.
So by the time you have built a case you will be leaving anyway.
In a couple of weeks you will have exchanged and had your 12 week scan and things will seem much more positive as you will have your escape date and the option of telling your parents about the pg.
Hope it calms down soon

[Tortington]

i would phone the police and tell them that you have been threatened.

phone environmentla health regarding the music - there will be an out of hours service

phone the council and check if its one of their properties or a private landlord or housing association. as the previous poster mentioned the landlord should put pressure on them to stfu.

[chegirl]

That is a horrible horrible thing to happen and I am not suprised that you are shaken.

From how you describe her erratic behaviour I suspect she kicks off when she has had a drink.

This makes her vile for her behaviour but probably not dangerous.

I have had loads of really awful neighbours, crack houses, drug dealers, just plain wankers.

Its vile and gets you down. I hope you can move or do something about it. If she is in council or HA you should report her to them. Everytime she does something like this.

Hope you feel better.

[katiestar]

Threatening violence IS assault.

[IHeartKittensAndWine]

We think they are social housing because when the council refurbished all the flats they still own in the close they had workman going in and out for days. I might give them a call. DH bumped into her son in the corner shop and he apologised and said that she "sometimes gets wound up", DH just said don't worry about it, didn't want to get drawn in. We're going to push for a shorter completion and hang the money we'll lose on rent (have to give 2 months notice). DH doesn't want me to be alone in the flat if its at night, and nor do I really, so we'll be v quiet until the scan (don't want to tell my mum about the pg before that as she's a big worrier).

I poured myself a glass and couldn't stop retching, so that put paid to that!

Thanks for all your kind comments and keeping me virtual company!

[chegirl]

Sounds like she does have some problems. Thats sad but its hard to be sympathetic when you are getting the brunt of it.

I lived next to a horrible old cow. She obviously had mental health issues but she was also a malicious witch. She told everyone she could on the estate that my OH used to threaten her, she also said that my DS used to wee up her door, that my DD stole from her. She used to give the children things and tell them 'not to tell mummy'. She kept her uncle locked up in the flat and he fell whilst she was out. I had to help the police get to him and she never forgive me. She lost her meal ticket and the poor man's son finally got to see him. He lived out his days happy as Larry in a old people's home. It turned out he wasnt demented, he was half starved and dehydrated. .

Anyway - thats me - still you did say you needed company

Whether its the drink or some MHI, you shouldnt have to put up with this unpredictable aggressive behaviour.

[Ripeberry]

Chegirl, that's dreadful! You were an angel sent to help him

[chegirl]

Oh Ripe

It was awful. It was late on a December eve. I kept hearing a noise like a cat. It took me ages to realise that it was a person and then I had to work out where it was coming from. Luckily I could see him through the window. It was bloody freezing. I called the police and we managed to get in to him. He was covered in wee so I went to try and get him some clean clothes. Everything was locked, even the telephone. It was heartbreaking.

He had a son who loved him. She wouldnt allow son anywhere near him. She had social services fooled into thinking she was a caring niece, looking after her elderly, troublesome uncle. Once he was out of the flat his son could have more say in his care. He came back to tell me how much his dad had improved and how his dementia had all but gone, he was happy and 'healthy'.

I was so pleased by boy did that old cow try and make me pay. She definately had some sort of personality disorder/MHI but that didnt excuse her hidiousness. Ooo she was vile. I always thought she was in her 80s, turned out she was only about 60

[MissCake]

Your not pathetic, your neighbour is ! and with you being pregnant how nasty is she. Dont whatever you do worry about her, i know its easy to say, but think of your health, and hopefully soon you be out of there!!! You can then relax.....my neighbour for just walking past her partner threaten to "punch me in the face next time" and partner called me a "whore" ............ it is hard to ignore it but time will make you stronger. Good luck xx

[GypsyMoth]

old thread!! why?

[ericnorthmansmistress]

Misscake
how did you find this? If you are searching the archives please check the date before posting on threads, it's very annoying.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Misscake - maybe you are new to Mumsnet?
You have posted on several very old threads!!!
Try clicking on 'active' so you can post on todays conversations

[shockers]

Ah but now I want to know how it all turned out!

[mrsboogie]

ohhh is this what's happening?? -I keep reading threads and then realising they are from ages ago.