To be upset that ds did'nt eat all day at school on Friday??

[whoingodsnameami]

When I picked up ds from school on Friday, he was tearfull and said he was starving, he said he went into the hall at lunchtime but could'nt find a seat, he told the dinner lady there were no seats, and she told him to go outside and play, he intereparated this to mean, he is not allowed his lunch, ok, it was probably some mix-up, but I would have thought saying you cant find a seat suggests you have'nt eaten yet, ds has a huge appetite, I can imagine how hungry he must have been, it also messed up tea time as I had to feed him immediately, long before dinner was due. I am going to complain on Monday but dont want to come across as unreasonable.

[anonandlikeit]

Thanks lottie, i'll drop you an email.

[anonandlikeit]

Lottie, we went along to have a look to see if ds2 would settle OK for the summer dates.
He is only 6 so too young for the Sat mornings.
I think he is going to do 4 sessions, if I get my form back & they still have spaces.
What about your ds is he going?

[milou2]

If you contact school in writing, how about using email and send to 2 different people in the school. Keep a separate folder of emails sent to school so you have a record of what you have said and what they have replied.

I have 2 HFA sons and wish I had taken this approach from day one.

Each issue may seem small but it is so important to nail each one, so you can be confident that the school is working with you on a respectful and adult level.

I didn't even expect this so my children and I just felt weak and somehow wrong in the face of the school's breezy approach. Good luck.

[lottiejenkins]

Anon, Im glad you had fun with him. That will be his last Sat morning session as he is going into the afternoon group in September. Is your ds going to the summer dates? If so do let me know who you are!!!!

[NotPlayingAnyMore]

These kind of things tend to be part of a chain: the suggestion to approach a dinner lady he knows is good, but only works if she's there, etc.

Is his TA actually a 1:1 LSA or is she there for all the children? If she's 1:1 then you have a good case for requesting a slight increase in hours to cover lunchtimes, as we did.

[anonandlikeit]

Lottie, he made me skip, not done it for years & he was v kind to ds2.
He really made me

[bubblagirl]

this is what worries me to and i would be livid ds starts school in sept HFA and has problems if needing to be seated or asking for food im having to ask school if someone could just take him through and seat him at table and ask for food as im so worried he'll just stand around and walk off if doesn't know what to do

i would have serious chat with school and see if they can arrange for someone to just walk him through and seat him and tell them they should be doing more to have him included at these unstructured times

[lottiejenkins]

Thanks anon! Im a bit fond of him too!!!

[anonandlikeit]

Lottiejenkins, sorry for the hi-jack, I met your ds today (this morning in Sax), he is great!

[whoingodsnameami]

Yes, I will speak to the school on Monday, see what they suggest, thanks.

[lottiejenkins]

Why dont you suggest to the headteacher that your ds has a "buddy" from the oldest children who will sit with him and help him at lunchtime?? . It would be good for them to have a little responsibility!!

[lottiejenkins]

whoingodsnameami....... Yes we do know who the special needs children are, but it is a small school and i have known 99.5% of the children since they were born!

[whoingodsnameami]

2rececca, he has packed lunches, they take them to the hall, then find a seat, they are not allowed to eat in the playground, they have to return the lunchboxes back to thier peg before going out to play, and yes he ate it as soon as he got home, but even then its 4 hours late.

[Littlefish]

It sounds like your ds would benefit from having a named lunchtime supervisor (or two) who, without being solely responsible for him, is the person that he goes to if he is stuck.

[2rebecca]

Had he picked up his dinner before he got a seat? I'm confused. Finding a seat and then going and getting your dinner is the opposite way to how we did it. If he already had his dinner what did he do with it?
You mention packed lunches but I presume if he had a packed lunch he would have eaten it in the playground, or as soon as he got home.

[pointydog]

I would get in touchm explain what happened and ask that dinner staff are aware of the aspergers so they can watch out for this.

I don't see that as complaining. It was a misunderstanding byt eh sound of it, that's all.

[whoingodsnameami]

Oh thats really really terrible not the same, but dc school no longer provide plastic spoons for yoghurts if the parents have forgotten to put one in, so mine now have frubes

[atworknotworking]

Regardless of your sons AS, I would not be happy that my child had gone without food, their should be seats, the lunch staff are their to supervise the children not just to tell them to go outside, she should have realised what your DS meant when he said their are no seats and helped him look for one or asked him to wait a while till one was free. My DD went without lunch one day as she couldn't get the lid off her lunch box, the staff refused to help due to health and safety reasons - utter bollocks - they didn't even offer a school dinner. There are to many beaurocrats in schools now and not enough common sense.

[whoingodsnameami]

I dont think the packed lunchers queue, they just go straight in and find a seat.

[pickyvic]

you definitely need to mention it, because aspies just comply - mine would have done exactly the same, just mention it on Monday and ask them to ensure it doesnt happen again. When mine went to school he didnt have to stand and queue - he had a docket which meant he got to the front first! if he has AS it might be worth suggesting it? mine found queueing too difficult.

[hambler]

aw poor wee love! I can actually remember stuff like that from when I was a kid of that age. Not sure what an adult means and being too shy to stand up for oneself

[whoingodsnameami]

lottiejenkins, not sure if the dinnerladies are aware of his special needs, was not sure if they are expected to be, are you informed in your job who the special needs children are?

[whoingodsnameami]

He has a TA but she does'nt assist him during luchtime, he says he does'nt know the name of the dinnerlady, I explained to him it was a mix up and if it happens again to speak to one of the dinner ladies he does know.