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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbour should pay half, if not the whole cost for this!

169 replies

LovingTheRain · 11/06/2009 17:29

My neighbour knocked on the door this afternoon and told me she was getting a conservatory build onto the back of her house. She then went on to tell me that the tree in my garden is going to have to be cut down as the building guys have told her the roots will cause problems for her not yet build conservatory in years to come.

Didn't mention anything to her at the time, but since thinking about it, i think it would only be fair to ask her to pay for half, if not the whole job of having the tree removed. It's going to cost about £300!!! according to the company i called and described the tree and its size etc.

The tree is in my garden, is not dying in any way and we happen to really like it! I know i'm being selfish by not wanting it cut down but is it unreasonable to ask her to pay for it to be removed? There is no way i want to pay anything to have it removed, let alone £300.

I don't suppose there is anyway i can refuse to cut it down can I?

AIBU in asking her to pay? DH doesn't want to cause any problems and thinks we should pay for it!

OP posts:
Mintyy · 11/06/2009 17:46

Loving: describe the tree to us, how tall, how close to her boundary? How large is your garden?

I can't believe that because she wants to build a conservatory in her garden she thinks it entirely reasonable for you to pay for the felling of a tree in your garden, which would not need to be felled otherwise.

JeMeSouviens · 11/06/2009 17:46

Rather than ask her to cut it down, ask her to have it replanted to another area of your backyard as you like the tree and don't want it to go. The cost might be prohibitive, but if she agrees, you get to keep your tree.

sweetnitanitro · 11/06/2009 17:46

I don't think it's reasonable at all for her to expect you to cut down your tree. Keep it if you like it and if you do decide it can be cut down then I think your neighbour should pay, it's not like you'd be having the work done if it wasn't for her.

Do you know what sort of tree it is? How big is it likely to get?

JeMeSouviens · 11/06/2009 17:46

...and you get to keep it if you refuse her request. In either event, she should pay.

JeMeSouviens · 11/06/2009 17:46

...and you get to keep it if you refuse her request. In either event, she should pay.

oliverboliverbutt · 11/06/2009 17:47

has she asked you to pay for it?

pointydog · 11/06/2009 17:47

Read the op again and tell me exactly where the neighbour is being arsey.

No evidence whatsoever unless there is more that notsoloving hasn't told us.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 11/06/2009 17:50

I don't know about you, pointy, but I think coming over and telling the OP that her tree, in her garden, will have to be cut down - well - sounds arsy to me! Or at least rather arrogant!

pointydog · 11/06/2009 17:52

completely depends on how it was said. She may well have been perfectly open to having an adult discussion about it and possibly felt a littel nervous about going over in the first place. Most people would.

wotulookinat · 11/06/2009 17:53

The neighbour is the one with the problem with the tree and should pay for it. Surely all you need to do is give permission, as the tree is yours. I wouldn't pay a penny.

shootfromthehip · 11/06/2009 17:54

I'd be nervous if I was about to be that cheeky tbh

pjmama · 11/06/2009 17:54

Whether or not to cut down the tree is up to you, I guess it depends on if you can be bothered with the hassle that refusal would cause. But if it's being removed because of her wish to build a conservatory, then it definitely should be at her expense. I'm really surprised that you seem willing to stand any of the cost at all, you're far more accomodating that I would be in similar circumstances!

ellingwoman · 11/06/2009 17:54

Whatever you do op, don't get it cut down on the say so of one builder. Make sure you get proper advice from a tree surgeon. It could be the roots will NOT be a problem. How close is this conservatory going to be? Don't they have to be at least 6 feet from the boundary wall?

crokky · 11/06/2009 17:56

Some people are so arrogant! I can't imagine going and telling my neighbour to cut their tree down . I am continually astonished by people's behaviour. And of couse, she should pay the full cost if you actually consent to it being taken down.

hippipotamiHasLost36Pounds · 11/06/2009 18:02

Pointy, it is the fact that the neighbour told the OP the treeis going to have to be cut down because it will cause problems for the conservatory.

HOw on earth can you justify a person telling another person what has to happen to their tree.

The neighbour can ask, by all means. But she can not go round and simply state what as to happen to someone else's tree.

The neighbour is being very cheeky, honestly!

hippipotamiHasLost36Pounds · 11/06/2009 18:02

as = has!

hippipotamiHasLost36Pounds · 11/06/2009 18:03

The OP did not state that the neighbour asked. Hence the responses have been they way they have.

juicyjolly · 11/06/2009 18:04

As far as I know, the trees branches would have to be hanging over into your neighbours property or be causing a problem to her by blocking off daylight into her home, then you have not got to chop the tree down at all.

If you were to go ahead and agree to her wanting your tree chopped down, then you should certainly not pay for it. She wants it gone, not you. She should pay and to be honest, do you think she would do all this for you and foot the bill to? I really dont think this particular woman would, so bare that in mind when getting up the courage to tell her!

crokky · 11/06/2009 18:05

She should also consider getting her builders to put a waterproof membrane underground so that your roots don't start to grow into the conservatory. Rather than demanding you cut your tree down immediately.

Metella · 11/06/2009 18:06

I think you should bear in mind that

  • if you keep your tree and
  • she builds her conservatory
  • then at some distant point in time it causes problems with her conservatory foundations, then you could be liable and end up cutting down the tree anyway.
edam · 11/06/2009 18:07

Did the neighbour actually say anything about expecting you to pay for the work? Not clear from the OP. Is it possible you just misunderstood?

If she said 'I am telling you to cut the tree down and pay for it yourselves' then that would indeed be extremely rude. But Pointy may have an, um, point - perhaps the conversation wasn't quite as abrupt as it came across in the OP?

Original poster
LovingTheRain · 11/06/2009 18:09

Our tree is right aganist our hedge. have just paced it out and the tree is about 24 feet from her property currently.

Dh thinks that in about 10 years, the roots from the tree will damage her current property and she will sue us!

DH has suggested we get the branches cut, but not sure if this will affect the roots!

OP posts:
ellingwoman · 11/06/2009 18:14

Well the roots would probably be creeping towards your own house then so you would be on the case anyway. Anyway you might move before then, so I wouldn't worry.

oliverboliverbutt · 11/06/2009 18:17

OP - dod she actually ask you to pay????

I can't answer if YABU if I don't have that simple fact.

Original poster
LovingTheRain · 11/06/2009 18:20

She said that the two she had cut down at the top of her garden cost about £700 so she guessed i would have to pay £300 - £350 to have mine cut down. She made no offer to pay and i assumed that she was meaning me to pay when she suggested how much it would cost me.

OP posts: