If I went to bed and left DP to put DD to bed when they get in?

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

Ok so some history.

DP works nights so as a rule NEVER puts DD to bed but stays in bed himself - normally listening to me struggle.
They've gone out today, alot later than he said (2pm) and he said he'd be back in time for Prison Break at 10pm.

I'm ill, I've been tidying all week and really want an early night. I get the feeling he's gonna come home at 10pm pass DD to me and plonk himself in front of the TV while I do the night time routine with a either a grumpy overtired DD or a DD who's had a nap on the hours drive back and be wide awake.

So can I just go to bed and feign deafness when he comes in?

[babylovessanta]

Sorry to say it but I think you quite enjoy the martyr role. If you ARE unhappy do something about it sharpish.

[Lazycow]

Next time leave a big note-

"Have gone to bed as am feelinh rough - DO NOT WAKE ME UP = ON PAIN OF DEATH"

[kslatts]

I can't believe he woke you up and then made you sort your dd out.

If dh came in after a day out with our dd's he would just put them to bed himself, it wouldn't cross his mind to wake me up.

[2pt4WiseMen]

You're crazy.
If you act like a matyr and do everything for him, even when you feel ill, are tired and havent eaten, while he watched TV then you'll never have an equal or fair relationship.

If you dont make chenges then neither will he and who could blame him when he is getting it so easy with no complaints!

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

I can't believe you let him do this.
You have to put your foot down. NOW.

[MrsMagooo]

OMFG!

YANBU by any stretch of the imagination!

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

WHAT?!?!?!?!
OMG.

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

I got woke up then DP watched Prison Break while as expected I had to deal with DD. I hadn't eaten all day but he wanted to watch the TV

Nevermind, It's CHRISTMAS EVE

[EightiesChick]

Quick, get into bed now! There's still time...

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

Just had a txt to say he's 30 mins away. There goes the plan - YAWN. I'm coughing my guts up here too!!

[pamelat]

My DH does bath, milk and bed every night. Tonight he is out on an xmas do, I have done it - I am knackered!! But have had DD for the last 12 hours so maybe thats why.

I think that partners who don't "do" bed don't realise how much effort goes in to it.

I normally do all day and tea but will now start offering to do milk and bed occassionally.

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

wooden - That's my flaw. I always just give in and do it anyway. lol

[woodenchair]

Bloody hell, go to bed woman! get some rest and pretend to be asleep when they get even if you are not.

Do not give in when he wakes you up and says well you may as well do it anyway now you are awake. Do not!!!

[MerryMadMarg]

Go to bed!!! If he grizzles, remind him that he's a blardy parent too!!!!

[izyboy]

I wouldnt even hesitate, I have HIGH expectations of DH and his ability to do things for the kids. He would not bat an eyelid if I had gone to bed early and would put our kids to bed as a matter of course. GO TO BED.

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

Dark - DP does that!! ! I asked him to give her a bath one night and I kept getting shouted

Wheres the shampoo - On the shelf with yours
Wheres her baby soar - Same shelf
Wheres the towels - In the towel box where you normally get them from
Where's her PJ's - In the draw where the PJ's normally are
Does she need cream - Yes cos she always has cream doesn't she
Well where is it then - On the shelf by the changing mat
Wheres her nappies - in the drawer by the changing table like they always are
Can you come watch her while I get the nappies then - Why they should be in reach by the changing table
Well I'm not using the changing table cos its warmer in our room - no its not and no I wont, take her into her room and change her on the table. Thats what its for

Then all you can hear is huffing and stamping!! BIG BLOODY KID!! LMAO

[NAB3hundredChristmaslights]

Just tell him you feel crap and he needs to sort out his own child tonight.

[DarksomeNight]

Oh and make sure you leave everything he will need for her bed routine right there where he can't miss it or he will then have an excuse to wake you. My DH does this on my lie in morning rather than look for stuff. He says it's just easier to ask me

[DarksomeNight]

tough then isn't it - for him I mean. Go to bed with a good book and some hot choc and be fast asleep when he comes in. If he wakes you you have the right to be supremely pissed off and tell him so without feeling bad about it. And DO NOT get up again if he does wake you. roll over and go back to sleep.
You are ill and he isn't.

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

See this is what's annoyed me. He agreed that he'd take DD out today so I could clean the house in peace but I ended up dealin with her till 2pm cos he'd been sat on the comp all morning (DD stayed at my mum's last night I had a dentist apt at 9am) and hadn't got stuff ready.

So I've started tidying late and the few hours I had reserved myself to sleep later to be ready for them coming home has gone. so..... hence wanting to go to bed.

[babylovessanta]

I would defintley go to bed.

[DarksomeNight]

Don't text as then he'll know your plan. Just leave the house all tidy with one little light on and go. I think he'd be pretty unreasonable to expect that you'll just be up waiting to piut her to bed. He obviously isn't working tonight then. I think 10 is reasonable to go to bed, I am often in by then when not ill. If he wants to keep her up that late he should put her to bed afterwards.

[AaliyahsFirstXmas]

His jobs are the bins, Dealing with DD for an hour in the morning while I have my shower and then anything else he feels like which will normally include once a week sorting the dishwasher. Oh he makes breakfast about 2/3 times a week.

He really does do stuff.

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

Don't get me started Marla

The only time DP doesn't do the hoovering is if he does the 8-6 shift and is out of the house from 7am-7:30pm.