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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be slightly embarrassed because I know the lady who will give me a smear?

106 replies

Themasterandmargaritas · 22/09/2008 17:01

I am having a long overdue smear tomorrow. The GP who will do it is known to me, but I don't know her terribly well, as it is my dh who is very friendly with hers. To add insult to injury they are coming to dinner on Friday! Should I feel embarrassed or will she have seen it all before?

OP posts:
alicet · 22/09/2008 20:03

Try having your son in the hospital you work as a surgeon. You announce to the anaesthetist who gave you your epidural 'I think I know you in a professional capacity' with your fanjo on full view. Then have to face him every week in the operating theatres coffee room!!!!

I do know why you are cringing though - she will be fine and has indeed seen it all before but it doesn't mean you won't be uncomfortable with it. If too tricky ask a practive nurse (sorry if you'e been through this already - only read first few posts...)

expatinscotland · 22/09/2008 20:06

'Try having your son in the hospital you work as a surgeon. You announce to the anaesthetist who gave you your epidural 'I think I know you in a professional capacity' with your fanjo on full view. Then have to face him every week in the operating theatres coffee room!!!!'

I have a pal who's a nurse and when she went in to schedule her induction last month she had a look at the rota and left a note for the anaesthetist who was going to be on duty .

I look at it this way, that anaesthetist who saw you on full view is one day going to have prostate exams and colonoscopies as part of his routine well-health checks .

alicet · 22/09/2008 20:07

Should add too that as a doc I have seen people I know both really well and as aquaintances. I just chat a bit to start to try and put them at ease then stick my professional hat on and get on with it. It is slightly difficult for both at first but actually has never been awkward in the end (or not from my side anyway and I HOPE I am a good enough judge of situations to say it wasn't for them)

FluffyMummy123 · 22/09/2008 20:07

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alicet · 22/09/2008 20:08

True expat! And I didn't give a shit at the time! Slightly cringy but thats life isn't it?

expatinscotland · 22/09/2008 20:10

my dad was having a colonoscopy (after having prostate cancer, he has to have a lot of these type things just to make sure he's in good health) and the consultant was female.

so she and the nurse are back here murmuring and he said, 'hey, you two had better not be smoking a cigarette back there!'

they laughed their arses off.

i once removed an engorged leech of the penis of an anaesthetist - a hardcore naval doctor into the bargain.

you'd have thought the a gerbil had knawed his leg off the way he carried on about this leech on his bits.

Themasterandmargaritas · 22/09/2008 20:14

Ooooooooo this conversation is so not helping me.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/09/2008 20:17

become a high altitude climber or a big wall climber, master.

you will soon lose any and all modesty you might have possessed at one point.

you'll learn to laugh and make jokes about things you found utterly disgusting in a past life and topics like diarrhoea, farting (anything bum or poo related), pus, blood, reproductive organs, absesses and infections will become conversations topics around the campfire rather than anything to make you blush.

Themasterandmargaritas · 22/09/2008 20:24

funny you should say that expat, dh has just taken a group of 'youngsters' up Kilimanjaro and there were apparently a lot of embarrassing poo moments, not from him you understand

So years of living in Africa, bush camping, dysentary the lot should have hardened me up, no? Maybe the problem is is that I don't know her well enough?! Either that or I have become a soft city chick.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 22/09/2008 20:29

Good on you for going for a smear TMAM. Is it PJ who hasn't had one? I must nag her further.

I think it's highly unlikely that during your little soiree she'll utter anything along the lines of "oh yeah it's like I was saying the other day while I had my hand up your fanjo." Well, maybe after her third Nordic Ice she might but otherwise I wouldn't worry...

Themasterandmargaritas · 22/09/2008 20:30
OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/09/2008 20:36

soft city chick.

amoebic dysentery is bad.

even worse when the toilet's a metal shovel and whatever hole you can dig fast enough whilst you pray death.

boakatastic!

hotCheeseBurns · 22/09/2008 20:38

Ask for someone different if you're not comfortable.

I made an appointment today and asked specifically not to see a certain lovely doctor because the problem is a bit embarrassing and her son goes to nursery with mine!

Saves a bit of stress doesn't it.

ScottishMummy · 22/09/2008 20:52

yes i would cringe too,looking at someone over dinner when they had a speculum up you recently

can your Practice Nurse do it

Onestonetogo · 22/09/2008 20:58

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Sidge · 22/09/2008 21:10

Don't get jiggy tonight - there is often, um, some residue left so she will know what you were doing

(It can also skew the result if they can't see the cervical cells because some little swimmers are in the way...)

FWIW I have done smears for people I know (other practice nurses usually, and a couple of GPs) and I see them at training or social events. It's never been a problem and to be honest it might as well be your ear or your elbow, it's just another body part.

DesperateTooDyson · 22/09/2008 21:11

Why don't you just save yourself some time and get her to do it when she comes over for dinner. You could do it between courses.

expatinscotland · 22/09/2008 21:13

It's never been a problem and to be honest it might as well be your ear or your elbow, it's just another body part.

Yep.

Saw a show last night on a Scottish GP who went to work in Oz for a bit, and she was seeing a lot of women for smears who had put them off because there was only a male doctor.

And one of them had had treatment for CINIII two years before and refused to have follow up smears because it was a male.

I was thinking, 'So you'd rather say goodbye to your young children and take the chance that you could die from cervical cancer than a 2 minute exam?!'

I don't see what is 'intimate' about it.

I mean, some guy giving your oral sex and shagging you is intimate, not a gal with a plastic speculum and a swab brush.

Helsbels4 · 22/09/2008 21:16

I went for my smear a few months ago at my GP's surgery and I used to work with the practice nurse who was doing my smear. I was quite comfortable with it all and thought I'd be very adult about the whole thing but when I got there, she said "Come on, let's get this over with" and seemed really awkward. She then said that she was well overdue for her own smear because she was too embarassed to have it done my somebody she knew! My result came back and it said there was insufficient cells on the sample but there is NO way I'm going back to her again!

alicet · 22/09/2008 21:37

Helsbels sums it up really - it is up to the professional to put you at ease really. Of course it is just another body part but it is slightly uncomfortable with someone you know only because you know they are probably not relaxed about the idea! But I just try and be as professional as possible while also being relaxed.

FWIW I am always doubly careful to NEVER mention anything about people I know - I would never talk about anyone in a way that could identify them - it's more than my job is worth!

alicet · 22/09/2008 21:37

Helsbels sums it up really - it is up to the professional to put you at ease really. Of course it is just another body part but it is slightly uncomfortable with someone you know only because you know they are probably not relaxed about the idea! But I just try and be as professional as possible while also being relaxed.

FWIW I am always doubly careful to NEVER mention anything about people I know - I would never talk about anyone in a way that could identify them - it's more than my job is worth!

alicet · 22/09/2008 21:38

oops...

everlong · 22/09/2008 22:00

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trefusis · 22/09/2008 22:05

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Grublin · 22/09/2008 22:09

Our friends mum did my last smear, it was a little bit ing but it was fine. She always talks to us if she sees us in the surgery. She's given the boys some of their jabs.
She's a great lady and often makes us a gooey chocolate square cake (which I've just eaten!)