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AIBU?

To get irritated at people who continually preach about child 'rules' i.e. sleeping in with parents.

71 replies

tori32 · 03/09/2008 20:35

I have just been on a different thread where someone has picked holes in the op without having any real info about her sleeping arrangments. Saying what is an 8 week old baby doing sleeping alone and not with the op.

To that I say to Greenmonkies some of us have very large babies who could tip a moses basket over at 8wks (yes, I am not exaggerating) She also was uncomfortable in the travel cot and was moved into her own room at 3mths. The full sized cot would not fit into our room. DH and I are both largish and would never risk having a baby sleep with us unless feeding.

As for SIDS, yes it is recommended, however, it isn't always possible. I also found that dd1s jealousy of the baby reduced dramatically once baby went in her own room. This meant less bad atmospheres for everyone.

So I say to all preachers- wind yournecksin!

OP posts:

Report

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 04/09/2008 12:40

You can sign up for the newsletter from FSID - I have been getting this since I sent off my chq from the Mile for Maude, its an interesting read and includes the current guidelines.

I think the dummy one is newish? I'm sure if wasn't a very promoted guideline when DD was born, but I remember getting upset when it was on the news after she was born.

DaphneMoon · 04/09/2008 12:41

Yeh seen a preview of that, I prob won't like it as far as I am concerned he will always be Frasier. Love all the characters especially Niles. We will get told off in a minute for hijacking this thread

harpsichordcarrier · 04/09/2008 12:41

sorry Daphne I just find it incredibly frustrating tbh that some people (not you!) seem to be so dismissive of the guidelines when their purpose is so fecking crucial i.e. to stop babies dying.
you could say the same about seatbelts/car seats - the rules really DO change all the time there but no-one shrugs their shoulders and says well we didn't do that in my day and it is too hard to keep up.
I think the analogy is sound.

smallwhitecat · 04/09/2008 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DaphneMoon · 04/09/2008 12:46

That's ok Harps, I was just interested as my DS is 8 as I mentioned before and so obviously I don't keep up to date with those particular guidelines. I do keep up with others though relating to my DS age like car seats etc. I let him stand between the two seats in the back and look through the screen............only joking! He is strapped in nice and tightly on his booster seat. He will soon be above the legal height, may keep him on seat till he moans about it though

hanaflower · 04/09/2008 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VictorianSqualor · 04/09/2008 13:11

Hapris can you come and prove you're around, people think you're lost!

theressomethingaboutmarie · 04/09/2008 15:53

Apparently, I accidentally put my elbow in my DH's mouth last night. Glad that DD did not co-sleep with us!

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 04/09/2008 23:47

co sleeping is okay, but DD was moving around the other night and her elbow connected perfectly with my eyeball.
I didn't know you could feel pain in the eyeball... but you can.

tori32 · 05/09/2008 11:11

I got annoyed because the post by the OP was not related to sleeping at all and it was randomly put in where it didn't fit in relation to a later post by the OP explaining something. It was a direct judgement 'why is baby sleeping on its own?' attitude.

There are rules about SIDS and co-sleeping in the same bed is not a guideline that is preferable. In the same room close by is preferable.
Knowing of parents who lost their baby due to it being suffocated in their bed while co-sleeping and were not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, suggests to me that co-sleeping in the same bed is not safe.

OP posts:

rebelmum1 · 05/09/2008 11:31

It's personal choice surely. The midwife at my hospital put my dd in bed with me in the end and kept an eye on us. She wouldn't settle otherwise, she told me that before new Gov guildelines were issued they had campaigned for mothers to co-sleep with newborns. My dd was in a moses basket but came in my bed during feeds. She still does come in my bed at night at 4. She also did stop breathing and I was able to get her help in time. If I hadn't been so close to her and next to her who knows. I personally feel safer having her closer. But that's my choice.

mppaw · 05/09/2008 11:50

Apologises if stupid question, but why do they need to be in the same room as you for 6 months ? I would imagine it is to make sure they are still breathing, but i got those sensor mats for DD and moved her into own room at 6 weeks as she was SUCH a noisey sleeper that neither me or DP were getting any sleep. Please dont shoot me down for asking this, as am expecting DC2 and need to start thinking about where we are going to sleep etc....has been 3 years since DD.

rebelmum1 · 05/09/2008 12:01

If I were you I would use your own judgement.

DaphneMoon · 05/09/2008 12:05

I had one of those sensor mats and was asked by one dumb bint why would you want one of those? Do they have breathing problems, how will it help?

Answer: Well when my DS stops breathing an alarm goes off and I run and get him breathing again.

She kept going on and on that it would mean that I would "relax" too much and rely on this mat! Err! well having a mat is probably than not having one!

mppaw · 05/09/2008 12:11

My DD's mat went off soo many times that I was so grateful for it, but will probably get a new one for DC2 as am sure that it had a fault as everytime I RAN in to her, she was breathing and fidgeting around, but still glad I had it.

TheProvincialLady · 05/09/2008 12:12

tori32 knowing of a baby (my cousin) who died at 4m in a cot in his own room suggests to me that putting babies in their own room at a young age is not safe - but we all have to weigh up the risk (which are small no matter what you do really - people smoked round their babies, put them on their fronts and had them in their own room from birth and still very few died compared to those who lived) and make our own decision.

DaphneMoon · 05/09/2008 12:38

mppaw, Mine only went off a few times, sometimes I think if they had a huge sigh it thought they had stopped breathing. Would definately recommend them. I would rather have 10 false alarms a night than the chance of them not breathing and me not knowing about it.

rebelmum1 · 05/09/2008 12:46

If you put a baby in it's own room and have a sensor then that is surely safer, plus the room might be such a short distance from the parents bedroom and the parents light sleepers. The cot might be too cramped in the parents bedroom.

rebelmum1 · 05/09/2008 12:46

besides you don't usually go to bed the same time as your baby anyway..

rebelmum1 · 05/09/2008 12:47

I advocate personal choice although I'm a happy co-sleeper which is also deemed dangerous even though it saved my dd's life.

DaphneMoon · 05/09/2008 12:53

Agree rebelmum, when my DS moved from moses basket to cot, he obviously went to bed earlier than I did. The sensor was on and the baby monitor. We only had a small house, but the alarm would have sounded through the monitor anyway and I could have been upstairs in seconds. (I was a bit younger and fitter then!)

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