To be dead jealous of mums who have their mums helping them?

[chelsygirl]

I know I an unreasinable but I'm so tired and worn out I can't help it

I just want my mumto be able to pop over, help with the kids just occassionally, go for coffee with her, chat about day to day things without having to shout/explain/repeat everything

Its the help I'm desperate for, during the school hols if I had a penny for everyone who's said to me "oh my mums taking the kids" I'd be loaded.

I absolutlely love my mum, she's 81 and I look after her now. I'd just love someone to be helping me out one day, even for 2 minutes.
sorry for the moan

[chelsygirl]

yes compaining here is easier!

[Minniethemoocher]

I must admit that I am embarrassed to complain about my lot in the real world, I am sure that I would sound selfish and heartless, it is just that sometimes I feel that the real ME doesn't get a look in anymore.....

[chelsygirl]

seb, I so agree. so many things are impossible as I need/want to spend time with mum as I need to do things for her and friends can't understand you are so torn between doing things for your mum or with your kids, especially if they have their mums doing things with their kids you can't get the time to do with your own kids!

I don't know what I'd do with free weekend without the kids, I'm so jealous of freinds who have this regularly. But also I think its a case of you always want more, I have 2 friends with an army of support and regular nights away, both complaining recently about their MIL's who don't take their kids enough!! It amazes me, esp. as one of them doesn't even work and has her dd regulary taken off her for days at a time by her own mum.

seb you just sound very much like me, dh worked shifts for years, only changing to days recently, I know how hard it is to be with the kids all the time and also needing to help your mum again without the support of your IL's (mine are in their 80's) and also no sibling support either. you have my respect and my sympathy, all I can say is it gets a bit easier as your kids get older and start school! I agree it is better to speak to posters here as in RL I don't know anyone in my position either and it makes you feel so alone when no one else seems to live like you.

again, hugs and best wished to you all, we're not alone girls! take faith in that

[Minniethemoocher]

I agree, it is good to know that you are not alone and that others are in a similar position.

[chocolatemummy]

I guess my dig is that I wasn't aware grandparents came on a first come first serve basis. I have friends whose parents have their children for an entirew eekend each months and they go off on a romantic break or have a weekend in bed and lots of sex, have another friend who works 2days and a night per week and her daughter goes to her inlaws for the two days and night each week.

[seb1]

Should be things are impossible to do not possible

[seb1]

I love mumsnet because you always find someone else who is in a similar place to yourself and it makes you feel less alone. I don't know anyone in RL who has 2 kids and an elderly mum (82), ILs miles away, SAHM (so money tight), DH with a crappy shift pattern which changes but covers 24 hours/7 days a week. I think when I say things are possible to other mums because of the above they just don't understand.

[chelsygirl]

thanks expat, same goes for me helping you out!

[chocolatemummy]

My mum has dd one day per week if I happen to be working on that day, I only moved back to same area just over a year ago, She has my sisters 3 children 'everyday' after school, from 3.30-5.30 and quite often in the holidays, when I asked her to have my dd she said "I already have three and I cant manage another one because they are such a handful", so I have to pay which REALLY pisses me off

[expatinscotland]

wish we lived closer, chelsy, we'd be happy to help out so you can get a wee break.

[chelsygirl]

expat, your post on Fri 15-Aug-08 18:32:34

was so so true

its so good there are so many on here to chat to about something you can't tell close friends about as they don't understand and you end up in tears anyway

thanks to everyone who has answered, hugs to you all

[Minniethemoocher]

Chelsygirl - YANBU - my Mum is disabled and I care for her since my Dad died suddenly last year. I have 5 year old DD, a MIL from Hell and sometimes I just want someone to look after ME for a change.

I do get jealous when I hear of other parents leaving their children with the Grandparents and going away for the night/weekend/or even on holiday for a week.

We hardly ever go out without DD and I do long to for an adult night out sometimes....

I will be away from DD for a couple of nights when my baby is born by elective C-section in October, but I am worrying how I am going to cope with looking after my Mum and DD after the section.....

[expatinscotland]

i would do it in a second, sk! seriously.

as the holidays finally draw to a close, my patience is wearing thin and their boredom is growing.

[chelsygirl]

we've never had a night away either in 10 years!

no wonder we're going nuts..............

[sweetkitty]

Night away whats this you speak off?

expat you need to move closer to me we could be each others childcare, so agree after toddlers newborns are so easy

[expatinscotland]

a night away.

LOL.

like that would ever happen!

[fledtoscotland]

i have never had a night away from DS! will have to be away from him next month as am having #2 by EC-Section.

[expatinscotland]

oh, we've never had a night away.

nope.

got two - once when admitted to hospital whilst pregnant with dd2 for throwing up blood after getting a D&V bug, and then for having DD2, but had newborn to look after.

[seb1]

DD1 is 8 and I have had 2 nights away both times in hospital, once having DD2 and once when admitted to A&E myself, don't I know how to live it up , also other 2 nights when Mum was admitted to A&E and I got to stay till 3am while they sorted her out.

[fledtoscotland]

i do love scotland though!

[expatinscotland]

i live in argyll.

oh, that's the other one i use: i pretend to be a tourist who doesn't understand what people are saying.

if they could only hear my DH and my children speak. lol.

[fledtoscotland]

if you live near glasgow you could always add glaswegian as another language

[expatinscotland]

the best part is that i speak two foreign languages, so when i get a treasured slot of time on my own and anyone approaches me, i usually smile widely and pretend i don't speak English.

[fledtoscotland]

you are in the right place!

[expatinscotland]

i love my kids, but sometimes, i'd rather just walk miles and miles.

alone.